Meet Seras 'Police Girl' Victoria from Hellsing. Her master is Alucard the vampire and she too is a vampire albeit not an evil one. She works for the Hellsing Group led by Sir Integra Winifred van Helsing. I have her captaining a starship- the Nova Hellsing so for once Al's gotta take orders from Vicky. In Xmas with the Dirty Pair (my first fanfiction) the gang had been deputized (Walter too) by the 3WA to hunt for DragonBalls and this time- more on that in a later blog.ANGEL WINGS
DISCLAIMER: OK 'Cat' darlin', it's all yours. First I wanna thank Mr T for the use of his Angels and stuff. Then I wanna thank everyone else who has been allowing us to use their creations here like Thom Beers for the use of his ice road truckers Hugh, Drew, Rick, Eric, Alex and Bear. I took the liberty of naming the 3WA academy in Furool City on Shimougou after Mr Haruka Takachiho in honour of his creations- the Angels. How was that, Yuri? Great, kiddo. Oh hai it sure was, Kei! Now since we left ya up in the air last time let's get to Ch 44 without any further meandering, shall we? Why is Zack Zero back and oro does he want with Suba Marina Oki? Can Mandy keep her big mouth shut? A hint re the titles- Garden of the Guardians is from Doctor Who (Tom Baker's era) and if you have not read my Xmas with the DP ff you won't get The Big Game rematch too well. Oro does this all mean? We'll find out momentarily gang. The Boss Red Marshall's on the warpath again! Here 'tis:-
CHAPTER 44
'Message From the Garden' or 'Big Game Rematch'
"That was two billion years ago and it wasn't even their Universe. Besides- who else have we got? Acting Lord President Barusa won't let us anywhere near 'Gallifrey' after that infernal Shenron the 'Eternal Dragon' failed them and Lord Rathelon's gone back to his tomb again. Mercury is supposed to be a messenger, ain't he, dammit?" observed Black and slowly an angry White nodded in agreement.
"Mercury! Report to my garden at once! Hermes! Do you want me to tell zeus about you and Eos (the Dawn goddess)? Get your worthless spirit over here now- or else!" howled a very perturbed White Guardian.
There was a crash of thunder and a youth sprang out of a blinding lightning flash. He was dressed in robes and wore winged sandals on his feet. His head was encircled by a band of plain white gold. In one hand he held a staff of gold surmounted by a silver crest with two serpents entwined around it- the 'Caduceus'. In his other fist he carried a winged helmet of gold.
"What in Hades is so all fired important that I had to interrupt my beauty sleep, Pops? I am off duty this century, dammit all!" he complained.
"Watch your language, boy or you'll find your ass in my Dark Realm, sir!" warned Black.
"I do apologize for disturbin' ya, son but gods as well as guardians are always on call, laddie. Don't worry. This assignment is pretty easy so it shouldn't take you too long to complete it, kid. We just need you to deliver a message to a 23rd Century starship in this Universe's Aquarian Galaxy. The vessel is the 'Lovely Angel 2' and her captain is a stunning redhead. Just tell her that it will take two days instead of just one. She will know what you mean, White.
The lad was literally champing at the bit.
"In fact practically her whole crew is female, my boy." added Black.
"I will be most honoured to help you out, sirs! You can count on me, Gramps!" cried Mercury and he saluted them both.
"Before you leave, at least put on some pants, kiddo!" laughed Black.
Again the thunder crashed, white lightning flashed and the young god was gone.
"Halt! Who goes there?" demanded Revy Roberts, her twin 'Cutlass' automatics levelled at the intruder who had just materialized in the bedroom she was using behind the ready room.
"Hi there, gorgeous. Would you care to come to Olympus to see my etchings?" winked a tall blonde teenaged boy wearing practically nothing. Flowing white robes, a winged golden helmet, winged sandals and a golden headband were the only garments he wore. He carried a staff and a shield and by his side hung a short sword like an ancient Terran Roman Tribune might carry. The boy was grinning ear to ear.
"I said identify yourself dammit! Who the Fxxx are ya and how did you get past the guards out in the corridors?" yelled an angry 'Creature from the Black Lagoon'. Revy was beat having just come off a double watch detail. She had collapsed on her bunk while still wearing her 3WA uniform and her battle armour.
"I would really and truly love to see what you've got underneath all that armour, cutey honey." he said and grabbed Revy's tunic jacket front and easily hoisted the Terran to her feet. Revy bristled.
"You just made one big mistake, dummy! Nobody touches Revy Roberts and gets away with it!" she seethed and launched a boot into his midsection. The next thing sh knew she had passed completely 'through' the stranger's body and crashed foot first into the bulkhead.
"What the Fxxx are you, a frigging 'yuyu' (ghost or spook)?" she demanded hopping on one foot while she was shaking the other which had suddenly gone numb. Mercury became enraged.
"I said show yourself to me, mortal female!" he roared and struck the deck with his 'Caduceus' causing a blinding flash of white light and Revy blinked. Something somehow seemed different now. When she glanced at her reflection in the highly polished bulkhead wall Revy snatched a sheet from the bed to cover herself. Everything she'd just been wearing had suddenly vanished including her underwear! Her guns were still in her fists so an wildcat emptied both clips into the tall youth and right through him into the wall, bunk, armoire, bureau, table, chairs and portals.
"Having fun, my child?" asked the boy amusedly and he sat in an armchair. Revy suddenly realized that this room must be soundproof or that much firepower would have emptied the bridge deck! She likewise retained her earring comlinks so she yelled for help.
"This is Suba Roberts! Security team to my quarters behind the ready room- stat! That's an order dammit! We got us another intruder and man, this one's a real weird-o!" she trilled.
"You cannot harm me with your puny weapons, woman! You cannot harm a god! I am Mercury, Messenger of the gods! Are you the captain of this floating carcass contraption? Would you please like to bear my children, dear?" chortled the young messenger god.
Revy ignited her laser sword hilt and watched it cut through empty air when she slashed it across the kid's gut. Now she was reloading her two 'Cutlasses' and Mercury shook his blonde head.
"Those toys are useless against me, Madam so why reload them?" he asked curiously. Revy continued her task.
"Because without a healthy gat within easy reach I feel like I'm stark naked, pal! Hey! Wait a minute, boyo! I am stark naked, ain't I?" she cried. Revy yanked open her armoire and pulled out a fresh uniform and a pair of sneakers. She tossed them on the bunk and rifled through her bureau drawers for socks, brassiere, bikini briefs and a turtleneck which she added to her pile. Then she faced her unwelcome visitor with an air of defiance.
"A gentleman would leave the room or at the very least turn his back while a lady is dressing, sir. Well? Are you a young gentleman or just a spoiled little brat?" she demanded and sat down to pull on her socks.
Mercury drew himself up to his full height and bumped his head on the three meter high ceiling. "A god is always a gentleman, Madam Roberts. Reclothe thyself, woman. I will not watch thee." he said and faced the highly polished Kelvinite bulkhead where he would have had an excellent view of the hot Terran wildcat had both his aizu (eyes) not been tightly shut.
Finally Revy cinched her tie up another notch and reholstered her sidearms.
"OK, kiddo. I'm decent again." she said and the god resumed his seat in her armchair. He grinned up at Revy.
"Your security team is not coming, Madam Suba. I have cut off all communications within this vessel. However, I tire of these boring games. You are obviously not kawaii (lovely) enough to be the leader here and your hair is the hue of charcoal not fire. Please take me to your commander, my dear girl. I give you my Olympian word of honour that I will not remove your clothing without your permission. he said.
Revy frowned. "Fat chance that'll ever happen, Merc." she replied. "Why do you wanna see the Boss Lady, kid?" she added, her hand in her pocket where she was clutching a small lump of dilythium crystal alloy. Hell, this crap was almost the same as 'antimatter' and it just might work against this big lummox but the loon's next words made Revy realize that the crystal would be unnecessary.
"I have an important message for her from the Guardians in the garden, my dear sweet child." he replied quietly.
Revy Roberts knew damned well that the Boss was resting downstairs in her own quarters prior to the big game rematch up here at two and that she had left strict orders not to be disturbed for any reason but Hey! Don't fruitcakes who think they're Fxxxing magical gods looking for some action who can strip ya bareass naked without coming anywhere near ya qualify as a legitimate reason for waking up Her Royal Highness, that damned pain-in-the-ass redhead?" thought Revy while she and the blonde kid were riding the lift down to Level Three.
"Yes, my love. I am certain that fruitcakes who think they are Fxxxing magical gods looking for some action would qualify as a legitimate reason for waking up that damned pain-in-the-ass redhead." he said startling Revy as she realized that he could read her mind like an open holonovel screen!
"Gomen, I apologize but kiddo are you really a god? Really and truly? Like in ancient Greek mythology and stuff? I read a book about 'em once when I was a kid in reform school." asked Revy Roberts.
"Yes I am. A real honest to God- god. You read a book about us eh? That would, of course have been before you became a hired assassin, correct?" he replied and Revy nodded as the lift doors parted and she led the way to a portal marked 'Captain's Quarters- Private' above a door control panel keypad and a klaxon push.
"Yeah? Whoozit and oro (what) the Hell do ya Fxxxing well want dammit?" growled Kei's sleepy voice when her door klaxon chimed repeatedly.
"Sorry Boss. It's me- Revy. Could I come in for a moment? Please? It is sorta important, ma'am." replied the Lagoon gal. The door swished aside just far enough for the bleary-aizued (eyed) redhead to peer around it at Revy and a tall handsome blonde teenaged boy beside her.
"Yeah? This had damned well better be good, Roberts! I ain't exactly dressed for company so I can't ask you and your new tomo (friend) i, girl. Oro (What) the Hell's this all about? I've got a game in less than an hour and-- Who the Hell is this jackass anyway?" she grumbled crossly. Kei was dog tired and it sure as Hell showed.
"Believe it or not, he's a god, Boss. Meet Mercury, the messenger god all the way from Mt Olympus. Those two Guardians sent him or so he says. He claims he's got a message for the captain and that's you, Boss. (Revy's voice dropped to a whisper. Hey Revy- if Merc can read your thoughts it don't matter how soft you speak) Watch your ass, Kei! He is magic! He managed to strip me to the skin from the other side of the room! Our weapons are useless against him so save your ammo. Just let him give ya his message and maybe he'll go the Hell back home, Reds!" said Revy.
"OK. Lemme grab a kimono. Just gimme a minute, Revy." growled the Boss and the door shut only to reopen a few seconds later. Kei waved them both inside while she was still belting her green kimono emblazoned with red ryuu (dragons) across its back. She waved them to seats, sat down on her sofa, put her bare feet up on her coffee table and ignited a cheroot.
"Ya got a message for me, bozo? Spill it, kid." she demanded and lit Revy's cigarette. Mercury had declined a smoke or a drink.
"You are the captain? Ha! Do not make me laugh! You are but a child and a female as well! You cannot be the captain! Come now, Madams. Enough is enough. Where is your captain?" cried the angry god.
"I am the captain, me boyo! See? Marshall Keirran Maureen Bridget Deirdre O'Shaughnessy O'Halloran, Commanding Officer, 'United Galactica Federation of Galaxies', 3WA, Patrol Starship 'Lovely Angel 2'. Satisfied, sonny?" she demanded while brandishing her 3WA holovid ID vidcard. Mercury read it over carefully and smiled.
"Mortals are truly foolish beings. Allowing such a young female to command an entire sky vessel is most stupid. Everyone knows that men are the true leaders." he replied haughtily.
"Yeah? Well I command two or three more of these 'sky vessels' as ya call 'em, me old boyo. I'm too tired to argue the point, dodobrain so just gimme your message and go." said the weary redhead.
"Very well, Madam Reds. I am to say that it will take two solar days instead of merely one. Gramps and Papa (White and Black Guardians) said you would know what it meant. Do you? (Kei nodded gravely) Then may I leave now?" yawned Mercury.
"Yes. Go. You are dismissed, tomo (friend) and arigatou (thank you)." said Kei abstractedly and with a bow to both girls he vanished in a lightning flash preceded by a deafening thunderclap.
"Mugghi? Have we lifted off 'Minerva' yet? Nai (No)? Good. Shut down the engines because we are staying right here. I'll explain why later. Don't forget to report to Holodeck Four at 1400 (2 PM). Kei out." trilled the Boss and Mugghi meowed OK.
"If we split now with a whole extra solar day to go our engines' backblasts could rupture those bubbleheads' continuum seals and start this shit up all over again. Wally must've gone forwards in time rather than backwards when he detonated that 'antimatter' bomb and then those fool Guardians miscalculated the time differential variances. Those 'time sights' could trigger trouble as well so tell 'Klink' and his pals there will be no more 'time sights' testing until we get back home. Those are my direct orders, Roberts and if he don't like it send him to see me. After that ya better get some sleep, kid. I'll tell ya all about the game tomorrow and arigatou (thank you) Revy. See ya later." said Kei shoving her out the door before flinging off her kimono and once again crashing onto her bunk.
Revy went to give 'Klink' and his scientific buddies Kei's latest orders and although the old curmudgeon grumbled a bit he finally did agree that maybe curtailing the 'time sight' experiments was the best policy and he told her he would immediately end all further testing until they got home. Revy thanked him and went up to her room again. She stripped, showered, dried and put on fresh undergarments before she went back to her bunk for some rest. Meanwhile back in the Garden of the Guardians Mercury had just returned.
"It was so funny, Grandpa, Papa! This stupid mortal female actually thought that she could harm me- a god! First she used some sort of projectile launching firearm and then she tried cutting me with a silly beam of light! Of course neither one even mussed up my hair, Gramps!" chortled the young god.
"I am not your grandfather and he ain't your papa, boy so stop calling us by those names! I am Mr White and he is Mr Black darn it all!" yelled White and Black grinned.
"Apparently neither Revy nor Reds used an ionic energy weapon like an ion cannon, a disruptor gun, a plasma rifle or a plain old blaster on you, son. Ya ain't immune to that stuff ya know and they would've put a hurtin' on ya for sure, kid." Black observed amusedly but Mercury was definitely not amused at all.
"Well, I have delivered your message as instructed, sirs so I'm off to Olympus again. Bye." replied the god and he vanished in the same noisy and flashy style as he had just arrived.
"A surly youth to be sure. I really must tell Zeus about him. I should tell the old boy about the kid's manners, Black. More tea?" asked White.
"Or rather lack thereof eh? No more tea thanks. I must go, old friend. Bye." replied Black and he went back home. And back on the 'LA2'--
At 1345 hours or a quarter to two in the afternoon Kei keyed up her PA mike and announced that she had decided to posptone the big rematch game until ashita (tomorrow) at 1000 hours or ten AM. However, she encouraged everyone to use Holodeck Chamber Four's football field for practice and then she told them why. One floor down in the galleys--
"I thought those two screwballs Fxxxed something up!" yelled Winry Rockabell who was helping to clear away the lunch dishes from the dining hall's tables while Ed Elric washed, brother Alphonse dried and Neko Olson stacked. Granny (Pinato Rockabell), Zoe (Morton), Leila and Trace (Edwards) were busily planning dinner on the other side of the galley.
"Winifred! Do I have to get out the soap again? Clean up your language, young lady or I will! Neko! Don't stack the plates that high! By the way, where's your comrade?" said Granny.
"Yes'm." sulked Winry. Neko started a new stack and began transferring plates from the first one.
"Sorry about that, Gran. Revy just got off a double duty watch detail an hour ago so she's probably upstairs asleep. Why?" called the shapeshifting nekomata human trill girl.
"Captain Starwind is looking for a defensive anchor to counter the Boss Lady on offense and he thinks Miss Roberts might be the ticket. What all of that palaver means is Greek to me, dearie but he did ask me to pass that word along to Miss Roberts. Izumi! Get Ichigo and Rukia to take those tablecloths and napkins up to the laundry room. We'll be needing them in time for dinner so tell them to have all the linen done by four this afternoon. Shush now everyone. I think the captain's going to say something over those talking boxes again." replied the Risenbool 'automail' expert from 'Amestris' whom everyone aboard thought of as their very own grandmother which was perfectly OK with Pinato.
"Well now! If that don't beat all! We're gonna be stuck here on 'Minerva' for two more days before we head for home. Aw, I guess we could use the extra day's practice time. Right Starwind?" drawled Han.
"Ya got that right, Solo. Ya wanna be a dual linebacker for us?" asked Gene.
"Suits me fine. Hey 'Cat'? How's your team roster comin' along? About done, kiddo?" called the ex-pirate.
"Just about, pirate. How about you, Gene?" asked Rally 'Cat' Vincent.
"We just need a kicker, love." answered Gene.
"How's about that tank gal- Leona Ozaki?" drawled Han. and Gene's face brightened.
"Hey Leona! Wanna be the Hawks' kicker?" he called and Leona looked up from where she and Raven were swabbing the decks of the immense dining hall.
"Only if I can be a defensive linebacker too, Cap!" she replied and went back to her mopping. Gene gave her the two thumbs up A-OK signal and she nodded.
'Cat' was pouting. She needed a quarterback but Kei wanted to be a receiver, Mar wanted to be a running back and Yuri wanted to be a tight end. Minnie Mae 'Kitten''Blonde Bomber' Hopkins wanted the job but the teenager was hopelessly inept. Mae was a speedster so 'Cat' already had her down as a running back with 'Dynamo' the Triceraton dinosaur thing as her lead blocker. Both sides had wanted 'Big Al' Elric but Izumi had told them that the 'knight' was too unstable to safely play football- after all he was the 'Philosopher's Stone' and the slightest jolt could cause more damage than the 'God Guns' could! Brother Edward agreed that Al should sit out the game so Al finally reluctantly said OK. Instead he bacame 'Cat's 'go-fer' guy.
Ed and Winry were her runback specialists and Kome was the Killers' kicker. Someone cleared their throat discreetly and Rally looked up from her lists.
"Miss Vincent? I played quarterback in high school if you think that an old codger like me could fit in on your team, ma'am." said Alex the Ice Roader. Rally looked over the 'Minister of the Ice Roads' and nodded.
"Yup, I can see that you can take a hit or two OK, Alex and Hell man you ain't that old, boyo. OK, you're the Killers' starting quarterback. 'Pretty Boy' Eric and 'Jimbo' Hawking will be your two backups. Bear's our medic and rick's his assistant. Drew's our equipment manager and Light Yagami's our water boy. Gene already grabbed Hugh the Polar Bear for the Hawks but we got the rest of ya. Clover and Mandy wanna be cheerleaders but Sammy and Alex are gonna be our tight ends. Fine. We'll see ya on Holodeck Four on Level Eight at 1430 hours I mean at hal past two this afternoon so please tell the rest of the Ice Road Brigade and thanks." said Coach 'Cat' Vincent and she kissed the older guy on his stubbled cheek.
"Thank you, ma'am and may the good Lord bless you, Miss Vincent. See ya then." replied Alex.
Starfire loved the new cheerleading outfit that that nice Father Miroku had picked out for the Hawks' cheerleaders. Raven did not but Raven did not complain over such trivial matters. Wally the 'Flash' zipped around helping out everyone on Gene's team who needed help. Since he could not promise that he would not use his special fleetfootedness powers during the game both Gene and Rally had refused to choose him for a player so instead Gene had made him the Hawks' 'go-fer' guy.
Big Spike Miroku (who once upon a time had been head of mall security at the 'Higurashi Mall' back home in 'Furool (Foo-Lon) City' on 'Shimougou') had once again been loaned to the 3WA albeit this time it was in his new capacity as security chief of 'KASP' the Kaguran Air and Space Patrol. He had made an excellent defensive linebacker in the first game (see Xmas with the Dirty Pair fanfiction for those details) and a great defensive captain to boot. At well over 175 kilos (A kilogram is equal to 2.2 pounds) he was a very impressive anchor and boy did 'Cat' ever need one so she sent Ninja boy Naruto to tell the big guy he was again on the Killers' team.
Ninjas Neji and Ten Ten were 'Cat's speedy cornerbacks and the two Saiyaans (Goku Son and Vegeeta Brief) made excellent safeties- Vegeeta at strong and Goku at free positions. Ryuuk, Light Yagami's Shinigami death god was chosen to be the Killers' mascot- Kira Rayne. Light told them that Kira was Japanese for killer and Ryuuk certainly looked like a kira, that he most certainly did! Rayne was a reference to an ancient Terran film vampire of the same name. Ryuuk grumbled at first. He really wanted to play but being unable to assure 'Cat' that he wouldn't simply disappear whenever he felt like it he reluctantly became their mascot instead.
On the other side of the coin Helena 'Hawkgirl' of the 'Justice League' flat out refused to be 'Helena the Hawk' because she wanted to play in the game so at 'Cat's offensive coordinator's (Captain Zack Zero) urging Suba Marina Oki was chosen as 'Henrietta the Hawk' while Helena became an offensive guard and a strong safety.
"That is it, Vincent. Leona's our kicker and Nat (Lt Naturle Edwards nee Badgiruel) is our starting quarterback with Sally Mimoru and Nami Richards backing her up. See ya at practice, kiddo." called Gene on his way to the lift.
"Yeah, Alex is our quarterback with 'Pretty Boy' Eric and 'Jimbo' Hawking to back him up, Cap. See ya up there at half past two, dude." replied 'Cat' who was drawing up plays she wanted to try out. Meanwhile back home Naomi Armitage was furious!
She was supposed to be on the next flight home to Mars to see her family but 'Uncle Vito (Galadriel) had cancelled all offworld flights until that damned 'Ark in Space' aka the 'Lovely Angel 2' returned in another week or two. Then Andy Gooley and Chuck Garner had dropped another bombshell on the hapless android robot girl. Naomi was to arrange living quarters for all of those 'Gaelic Goofballs' passengers and crew- again!
"Christ Almighty, Chuck! I could've sworn we'd just gotten rid of those pests or was I only dreaming that we did?" she thundered. Gooley and Garner spread their hands out and shrugged.
"Ya know I do have a life of my own, boyos and a family waiting for me on Mars!" yelped the enraged android crashing her fist onto her kitchenette's countertop for added emphasis.
"Yeah. We know that, Naomi and we are sorry that you can't get back to them yet but duty calls." apologized Gooley.
"Maybe Guy can bring the kid here--" suggested Garner and bit his tongue when he realized his mistake.
"How? Vito put the kibosh on all offword flights- both coming and going! Ka-Mi (God)! It just ain't Fxxxing fair, man! Every single time that those two Celtic lunatics go off on a mission I end up either here or on 'Alderaan' dammit! My kid and my husband ain't even gonna recognize me by the time I finally get to see 'em! Shit! (Naomi sighed) OK. I'll set things up with 'CC' and start booking accommodations but know this me boyos- come Hell or high water, in another fortnight (fifteen days) I am outta here even if I gotta use a solar jet pack! Ya got that?" yelled Naomi Armitage and she blanked her vidscreen angrily.
END of Ch 44. Ch 45 'We'll Leave the Lights On For You' or 'Team Rosters' soon. Getting interesting eh? Wonder how our heroine's gonna get outta this one? Read on and r/r/s away as always. Have a wunnerful day and sfn/sys/jm/Kami bless you all for your interest and assistance. Hooble-toodle-doo! Toodles tomos watashi-K&K
I dickered over this chapter's titles. Let me know if I got 'em right eh?
PS- I really do appreciate all your loyalty and support over the years my tomos watashi all! And you can take that to the bank folks!-K&K
See ya next blog post. Don't forget April 15th is coming. Toodles-K&K
That's GC Rally Vincent's automatic aove. Sorta looks like CB gal Faye Val's Glock 7, don't it?
Mys Pix here. Name the building, the city, the world, its famous tenants and why it leans at a thirty degree angle. Hint- Read my profile or Nozmo's site which is the same name as the city. Good Luck. 
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