FEBRUARY 26, 2009 3:37PM
Angel Wings Chapter 38 Talks & Driver

Here's the mystery pix of the post. Recognize this grinning Zombie freak? Sorta looks like Heath Ledger's Joker from 'Dark Knight'. Hint- He has no qualms about taking human life whatsoever! Good luck.

ANGEL WINGS

DISCLAIMER: OK Xavier, it's all yours. First I wanna thank Mr T for the use of his Angels and stuff. Then I wanna thank everyone else who has been allowing us to use their creations here like Thom Beers for the use of his ice road truckers Hugh, Drew, Rick, Eric, Alex and Bear. I took the liberty of naming the 3WA academy in Furool City on Shimougou after Mr Haruka Takachiho in honour of his creations- the Angels. How was that, Yuri? Great, kiddo. Oh hai it sure was, Kei! Now since we left ya up in the air last time let's get to Ch 38 without any further meandering, shall we? Why is Zack Zero back and oro does he want with Suba Marina Oki? Can Mandy keep her big mouth shut? A hint re the titles- Yuri has nothing to do with the 'Secret Talks' and 'Designated Driver' has nothing to do with alcohol usage! Oro does this all mean? We'll find out momentarily gang. Here 'tis:-

CHAPTER 38

'Secret Talks' or 'Designated Driver'

"Hey Jerry! Ya sure you can make loudmouth Mandy forget who we are and everything else later? (Jerry Lewis nodded sagely) Yo! Shut the Hell up and listen to me, Motormouth! Alex, Clover an I are really spies for 'Woohp' the World Organization of Human Protection and--" said Sammy and she proceeded to tell Mandy the whole truth, the entire totally true story from their beginnings as teenaged high school Valley girls' spies right up to the present.

When Sam finally finished Mandy stared at her for a full minute before she started laughing her head off. "Man, are you flaky or what, Honey? You gotta be on a rocket to oblivion, dipstick! What a crock of crapola, man! You don't 'seriously' expect me to believe you, do you?" giggled Mandy and Sammy shrugged off her kimono.

"Up to you, girl. Believe what ya want but what I told you is all totally true. I'm going for a dip. You coming?" said Sammy.

"Well I tried, guys." said Sammy and Jerry smiled.

"I told you she wouldn't believe you." whispered Jerry. Clover had stretched out on the sandy beach next to Faye Valentine and tomboy Ed whom Faye had on a leash.

"Is that really necessary, Miss Valentine?" asked Clover.

"Yeah, unless you want to run around after her it is." replied Faye.

Mandy and Alex dove into the pool and splashed Jerry and Sammy. Jerry tried to apologize for the 'spy' slip but all they did was splash him harder.

Revy Roberts and Neko Olson were arguing over their fave topic- weapons.

Yuri was just glad they were on their way home at long last unless that scatterbrained nincompoop redhead decided to take them on yet another 'quickie' side trip again! She debated trilling the Boss to make sure they really and truly were going back home this time but she decided against it. Best let sleeping dogs lie like Chief (Ella) Hathaway had once advised her. In O'Halloran's case that 'sleeping dog' could easily turn into a full blown Irish wolfhound!

However, as Yuri returned to her latest fashion holovidmag catalogue five decks down the 'Irish wolfhound' was pacing the floor.

"Where the Hell was the Doctor all this time? Surely 'Gallifrey' wasn't all that damned far away for a time and space travelling time lord in a police box thingamajig whatchamacallit- a TARDIS, wasn't it? All he had to was drop off one prisoner- John Berringer. Warp and Slade Wilson were both destined for Terran judgment and were now Terra bound via 'Galactic Command' transport. The rest of the brood had gone to either 'Seto Kaiba' or 'Hecuo Mundo', the nickname for the most infamous penal colony asteroid in the galaxy- 'Kariyastan' where conditions were the worst imaginable so the place was used only when absolutely necessary. It was slated to be closed down and never used again in just two more years- AD 2253. Ah well, these time jockeys set their own hours it seemed. The Doctor would be back when he got back and that was that. I will hate to lose Peri Brown though. She's the best yeoman I've had since Conan Edogawa's sister during our first time rift missions. Hopefully this 'time sight' crap of Sally and the kid's would work. Then me and the gang can finally relax and get back to normal stuff. First damned thing I'm gonna do is get me a transfer back to Unit 9. I've had enough of running a Fxxxing Academy! I want action! Maybe they'll promote the vacuumhead and make her the new big mahoff. Hell, who am I kiddin'? The airhead's just as fed up with his Academy shit as I am! She'll probably transfer back to Unit 237. A shame that although we'll still be neighbors we ain't gonna be partners no more. Mar and Kome are gettin' the 'Angel 3' as captain and exec so who's gonna be our new partners? Probably that Rio Delcroix for the dipstick moron and Tomah's sister Edna Jordan for me. Shit! Breakin' in new trainees! Oh well at least we'll get a better deal than poor Ella Hathaway got- Lily Langtry! I really pity anyone who gets stuck with that baka dipstick! Whoever the Hell coined the 'dumb blonde' phrase must have had Lily in mind when they thought of it! Then again- if anyone can whip Lily into a top notch tro-con it's Ella. Just think. In another decade and a half I'll be Ella's daughter Annie's boss and my own dear 'KR' (Keitarou Riff) will be her partner in the 'Avenging Angels' team. Dammit, that does have a nice ring to it, that it does. Aw, the oni (devil) with it! We're goin' home at last!" mused Kei and she threw her unifom blazer at the sofa (it hit the floor like everything usually did. Did I mention that Kei was a slob?), kicked off her sneakers and crashed onto her bunk.

She slept like the 'roshii' (dead) until 1700 (5 PM) when Mugghi trilled the redhead for dinner.

"I'm awake, Furball. Have 'em send up a platter of the usual. And a fifth of 'Dew' too. Tell the airhead to advise Central we're comin' home. (Kei thought a moment) Mugghi, put through a top priority ultrasensitive relay to 'God almighty' for me. Don't tell anyone else and route it to my quarters down here. Huh? Yeah. 'Uncle Vito' (Galadriel) himself. I'm gonna find out oro the Fxxx's goin' on around here. The Doctor's late, Zero is 'conveniently' available, 'Ghostie' retires and becomes a 'GPI', no less than four high ranking chiefs show up to pick me up, the 'Draconians' just signed a peace treaty with Duke Atraides on 'Dune', we just sent a hundred first year cadets for 'advanced' training and some of 'em only got three weeks of 'basic' training under their belts. It just don't add up, tomo, nai (no), that it does not! And yet we get to go home. Something smells very rotten in 'Kalustor' and I wanna know oro (what) the Fxxx it is, Furball. Trill me when ya get 'Uncle Vito'. I wanna talk to 'God almighty', not one of his damned 'cherubs', you got that, Mugghi? OK. Kei out." she trilled and then she pulled on fresh sweats and sneakers.
A trilling alerted the Boss that her relay was through and she powered on Vidscreen Three. The familiar image of the grandfatherly 'Uncle Vito' Galadriel was comforting to the young redhead but tonight the old guy looked more troubled than jovial. He waved a hand for silence.

"How did you know, Katherine? I only just now heard about it myself?" asked Galadriel.

"How did I know oro (what), sir?" countered a puzzled Kei. He sighed.

"That war is imminent betwixt the 'New Republic' and 'Rygiel 9' of course. No matter. I gave up trying to figure you out when you turned fifteen. The only chance we have of preventing war is a peace treaty betwixt the two worlds. To that end we have clandestinely arranged a top secret meeting between President Elect Leia Solo of the 'New Republic' and King Galdonicus Alorien, High King of 'Orlean' and the new leader of the 'Rygielian Empire' on neutral territory. explained Vito. Kei blew a smoke ring and shrugged.

"So? Where's this meetin' gonna be held, Uncle Vito? Oro (What) Kami (God) forsaken moon are ya sendin' us to this time, sir?" asked the redhead resignedly and she lit up another cheroot.

"We are not (ahem) sendin' you folks anywhere. However, you are coming home, my dear Katherine. (Kei looked at him suspiciously) The meeting is being held on 'Shimougou' at your place. Takachiho Academy is the 'neutral territory' agreed upon. It will be held (ahem) ashita no yobi, my dear child." he replied.

"Oro (What) the Fxxx! The frigging day after tomorrow? (Vito nodded) The 'Angels 1 and 3' will be there by then so use 'em for security. I'll get us there just as soon as I can, sir." said the Boss.

'Uncle Vito' shook his leonine head. You must be there by then or it's a no go. Neither Solo nor Alorien will agree to anything unless you are there, O'Halloran. They wanted Donovan too but I told them I can spare only one of you and they emphatically decided on you. They don't trust anyone else in the 3WA or the 'UG' besides me and I must remain completely neutral in the matter you understand. (Kei nodded dejectedly) So that's about the size of it, Angel. Don't spare the hyperdrives in getting here. You and Zero get your asses here stat and that's a direct order, Marshall." ordered Vito.

Kei looked flashing daggers at him, her emerald aizu (eyes) aflame. "You sent Zach Zero to fetch me, didn't you, Vito?" she demeanded and he nodded again.

"Yes I did. Time is of the essence here and with secrecy a must I called in a favour from the 'UEF' leader and asked him to loan me Zack Zero to get you back here as quickly as possible. Although you knew each other he had never really tangled with the 'Demon of Dublin' before and--" stammered Vito.

"He didn't know oro (what) the Fxxx he was getting his ass into, sir?" chuckled Kei.

"Something like that, Boss. Now you get Zero and yourself back home tout sweet. Tell 'em all that you can't wait to get back home to 'Little Kakashi' or something but get your asses back here in two days and don't you dare tell anyone the real reason. (Kei looked a question) I know what you're going to ask and the answer is no. Zach Zero does not know why we want you back here. All he does know is that it is vitally urgent that we see you without further delay, my child. Now I really must dash. Have a kawaii yobi (lovely day) and hooble-toodle-doo. Kami (God) out." he said and blanked his vidscreen.

"Yeah. Arigatou, sir. O'Halloran out." she replied to an empty vidscreen.

"Now I gotta go make some excuse for wantin' to get home early." she thought. Kei debated going down to address her troops in uniform and decided against that plan. After all she was forbidden to tell 'em the truth anyway and the uniform is almost always a dead giveaway. Instead she shoved a Mark XIII into her sweatpants' waistband and took the gantryway stairs down to the rec room/dining hall one flight below her. She picked up a PA mike from the wall of the dining hall and keyed it.

"Your attention onegai (please) folks! Who wants to stay on this bloody damned ship for another whole Fxxxing week? (Amurmur of disapproval went around the huge room like an ancient Terran football cheering wave) Me neither! Ya know I just realized that I forgot to feed poor 'Little Kashi' (Kei's fifteen meter long pet python snake) before we left the Academy! Since we cannot use 'hyperspace' on account of we're too close to our destination I'm gonna boost our Warp speed to 30 and get us home in two days instead of seven, OK? (A deafening roar of applause and cheering as well as a rousing round of 'For she's a jolly good fellow' (Nobody dared to call Kei a Lady!) and like sentiments greeted Kei's suggestion) Then let's have us a toast! (They did. After all booze was free on the 'Angels') OK. If you'll excuse me I'll go tell our bridge crew to put the pedal to the metal and not to spare the hyperdrives! See ya later, gang." said the redhead and she entered the lift.

Lt Sandra 'Tigress' Sandoval was manning the comm when Kei got to her bridge. "Hiya Boss. How's tricks?" greeted 'Tigress' and Kei frowned.

"Lemme see. You're fourth in command, ain't ya? (The svelte 'Starfleet' navvie nodded) Then where's Kiva (Nerese), Reg (Barkley or Barclay) and 'Kitty' (Torres)?" demanded Kei who was clearly pissed off that a K-Class 3WA patrol starship was under the command of a novice navvie.

'Tigress' was a novice owing to having only three years' starship experience. Of course Nami Richards was a real novice navvie having less than a week's starship experience under her belt!

'Tigress' ticked off items on her fingers. "Let's see now, ma'am. Captain Nerese is in your 'office' (the ready room), Lt Commander Barkley (Barclay) and our comm officer Lt Torres are down training on your holodecks so I'm (ahem) in charge, mum. Anything I can do for ya?" asked 'Tigress' who'd been playing video games.

"That depends. Can you fly this thing?" asked Kei gruffly and the navvie shook her head.

"Nope. I can get it there and back again but I sure as Hell dunno how to drive 'em, mum. Sorry." replied the saucy brunette.

"Where's the rest of my damned bridge crew?" the redhead wanted to know.

"Wherever they wanna be I guess. The Captain gave 'em the night off, mum. We're flying on 'George' so I volunteered to man the helm. I'm not much of a socializer, Marshall." said 'Tigress'.

Kei's scowl softened a bit. "You and me both, kiddo. I'd better check with the Captain. Ja ne (see ya later), 'Tigress'. If any of my pilots happen to wander by hogtie one of 'em for me." said Kei.

"Enter. It's open dammit." replied Kiva Nerese when Kei sounded her ready room's door klaxon.

"Hullo Reds. I didn't expect to see you for a couple of more days. Oro's (What's) up?" yawned a tired Kiva who hadn't slept in 42 hours.

"I just decided to get us home five days sooner than everyone expected. Ya got anyone along with ya that can pilot this baby of mine?" asked Kei lighting up a cheroot.
Kiva fired up her cigarillo and smiled. "Sure I do. Bishop's a fully qualified C-Class starship pilot." replied Kiva.

"Your helmsman? Where is he?" asked Kei eagerly.

"I dunno, Boss. Look, can't we do this ashita (tomorrow)? I'm bushed. I ain't slept in almost two days, man." complained the 'Bjorn' 'Starfleet' captain.

"Tough! It's been more than four days since I last visited Dreamland, kid. C'mon now, Kiva. Where's Mr Bishop?" coaxed Kei.

"Where the Fxxx are YOUR shimatta (damned) pilots? Use one of them, dammit!" grumbled Kiva.

"I can't. They're on the other 'Angel' vessels and the 'Liberator', Zero's ship. Gene and Han are asleep because they've been awake a Helluva lot longer than even I have! Jon (Harlock) can't handle this monster and Blue's (Legato Bluesummers) engaged elsewhere." explained the redhead patiently- well just barely.

"How's about Mar? She practically runs this whole damned ship for ya single-handedly, don't she?" yawned Kiva.

"She is commanding the 'Angel 3' so where in the Sam Hell is Bishop, dammit?" shouted an exasperated Kei O'Halloran.

"Are you two ladies looking for me? I'm afraid I've been star gazing down in the 'star room' for the past two hours." said a short diminutive Terran guy with jet black hair and matching mutton chop whiskers. He had just entered through the ready room's opened portal.

"Thank Christ! Now maybe I can get some bloody sleep! That's Mr Bishop, Boss. Take him and go away!" cried an annoyed captain.

Kei spun to face the newcomer. "Can you pilot my ship? (He nodded.) A K-Class starship? You're only licensed for C-Class, ain't ya? That's oro (what) Kiva told me." demanded the now impatient redhead.

"I'm due to be tested for K-Class next week but I assure you, Madam, that flying this puppy's a piece of cake, ma'am." replied Bishop.

"Then take the comm and get us back to 'Furool (Foo-Lon) City' just as quickly as ya can. Ya can't use 'hyperthrust' because we ain't really 'offworld' but still- don't spare the hyperdrives. This 'puppy' can handle 50 Warp with ease (Bishop's aizu (eyes) popped) but I only need to be back home by ashita no yobi er the day after tomorrow so 30 should be an ample speed. Can ya manage that, Mr Bishop?" asked the Boss hesitantly.

"Sure Reds. No problemo as Mikey says. Twenty-five warp should get us home by then. Can I have 'Tigress' for my navvie?" asked Bishop.

"Sure but I can't give ya a co-pilot 'cause I ain't got none left aboard except Solo and Starwind and they're whacked out so I can't use 'em for a few more days. Who's your comm officer? 'Kitty'?" asked Kei.

"Nope. She's asleep in one of your back bedrooms so I'll use Treanna Knox. Ya remember her, Boss?" asked Bishop.

"Sure do. Well, there's the bridge and the comm's all yours, Acting Commander. Donnatella's our Engineer tonight. Have fun and remember- we're all counting on you, tomo (friend) mine." said the Hellcat firebrand Amazon. She took the lift back down to her quarters- and her bunk. She felt the brief power surge as Bishop increased Warp speed and then she assumed he'd put the ship back on 'George' and settled in for the night. Kei was asleep the second her head hit the pillow.

Several hours later and five decks up Yuri awakened on the sandy beach and yawned. She stretched and sat up in her chaise lounge. She squinted against the faux (false or fake. In this case 'simulated' by the holodeck like everything else there) sun to see her wrist chromo which read 2330 hours or 11:30 PM!

"Christ! Hey gang! It's like almost midnight so I think we'd better call it a night. Some of us have early shifts tomorrow." announced the exec officer.

While they were all grumbling, especially Faye, Kagome and Rukia who had drawn babysitting detail for the morrow, Yuri trilled the holodeck's 'archway comm system' and relayed the word to the other holodecks to call it a night, pack up and get off to beddie bye.

The entire vessel had settled down and was as still as the grave at 0330 (3:30 AM) when the Doctor's TARDIS finally touched down beside the rec room's bar. Peri was dozing at the bar over a half finished milkshake but looked up sleepily when he heard the familiar pulsating sounds of the Doctor's pylon drive system.

"Perpigillian Winkle Brown! Do you know what time it is, young lady? Does anyone know that you are down here, girl (Peri shook her head) No? Well it is either very late or it is very early depending on how one looks at things, however, that is neither here nor there. It is well and truly past your bedtime so off you go, my dear Peri. My God!! It feels like we are travelling at twenty times the velocity of light!" cried Doctor Six.

"Actually twenty-five times lightspeed, Doc. Suddenly the Boss Lady wants to get us home by the day after tomorrow for some ungodly reason. She got that nice Mr Bishop- his whiskers are so cool, man! Anyway she got Mr Bishop from 'Starfleet' to fill in for our pilots. How was your trip, Doc?" yawned Peri.

"As well as could be expected, my dear but I am not permitted to tell you anything about it, love so please do not ask. How is it that you know all about Mr Bishop and our speed and everything?" demanded the suddenly suspicious time lord.

Peri pressed her toe into the carpet and looked at her feet. "I er sorta listened in on Miss O'Halloran's conversation. I was er taking a walk through the service gantryways that access the bridge." explained a sheepish Peri.

"Eavesdropping!! That was a most unladylike and a very naughty thing to do! So er did you er hear anything else of any importance, my dear?" asked the Doctor.

"Plenty. But nothing that made any sense at all. Some drivel about 'Ghostie' becoming a 'GPI' and some crap about Mr Solo's wife and some old dude named Gallo Oreo from New Orleans on a dune and--" yawned Peri and suddenly Doctor Six shook her by the shoulders- vigorously.

"Galdonicus Alorien the King of 'Orleans' from 'Dune' in the 'Rygielian Empire'? Leia Organa Skywalker Solo is Han's wife but she is also the President of the 'New Republic' at 'Coruscant', my dear girl. They will talk only on neutral territory and if they cannot reach an agreement on something very soon war will break out betwixt them so 'Shimougou' must be the site of the meeting and the 'neutral ground' must be 'Takachiho Academy' which Reds runs. That's it! That must be it! King Galdonicus and President Solo do not trust anyone in the 'UG' or the 3WA except for Mr Galadriel who must remain neutral for obvious reasons. Reds and (He snapped his fingers and Peri supplied "Fruity Screw Loose Donovan?") yes, Miss Donovan and really Peri you must watch what you call your superiors! If Reds and Yuri or at least one of them is not there then there will be no discussions and no chance of avoiding war! That would explain the Boss's tremendous rush to get home as well. Well, off you go, Peri. Nighty-night. Sleep tight and don't let the bed--" chortled the Doctor.

"Don't say it, Doc! I'm going. G'Night Doc." said his pretty Terran companion and she headed for the liftbanks. The Doctor sighed and headed for the gantryway stairs. He was billetted only on level up. Peri's rooms were on Level Seven hence her use of the lift.

"How will she take it?" thought the 'Gallifreyan' to himself. The High Council had decided on leniency for John Berringer and were merely banishing him from the major quadrants for a solitary solar year. That is unless Reds herself were to testify before the Acting Lord President Barusa of the Timelords and their High Council. Then they might permit him to be tried before the 'Galactic Command' courts. In that case it could mean a very lengthy prison term or indeed perhaps he would be judged to merit the ultimate punishment of 'Le Morte'- Death. And guess who gets to tell the Hellcat the good news? Right. Yours truly- the Doctor himself. Well he'd tell her all that ashita (tomorrow). Right now he needed his bunk and a glass of warm milk.

Peri yawned again and decided that her reports could wait until tomorrow. The warm 'Yargoth' tea (imported from the moon of 'Yargoth' in the 'Epsilon' quadrant) felt very relaxing and Peri had soon fallen fast asleep on her sofa.

Marina Oki covered her with an Afghan when she made her midnight (OK 0400 or 4AM anyway) snack run and went back to her bunk.

While the 'Angel 2' cruised along at Warp 25 an 'ISSP' (Inter Solar Systems Police) patrol speeder was 'clocking' the 'cloaked' ship.

"Holy shit! Will ya look at that, Genna! A 'cloaked' vessel in a 'no cloaking zone' sector and he's doing close to 28 Warp in a 5 Warp zone! Hit those klaxons, Patroller Peterson! Pull his ass over!" ordered Sergeant Algonquin Lumpass of the 'ISSP' (He had transferred over from Roy Mustang's 'FC' KP Patrol Police force) and Patroller Third Class Genna Peterson (This was Genna's very first 'gig' on a real patrol!) hit the klaxons and flashing lights. She picked up the PA system's mike and shouted into it.

"Attention! Attention cloaked vessel! This is the 'ISSP', Bravo Sector Patrol! Halt your vessel and prepare to be boarded! Please respond to my hail, sir! Halt in the name of the 'ISSP'!" shouted the novice 'Patty' through the speeder's PA systems. Meanwhile--

"Oro (What) the Fxxxing Hell is all that bloody racket?" complained Joey Bishop and 'Tigress' checked the relay readouts.

"Christ Almighty, Joey! It's the 'ISSP' and they want us to stop so they can come aboard, man! Ya better do it, Joey!" warned 'Tigress' so Acting Commander Joey Bishop called down to Engineering to cut their Warp thrust speed down to SubWarp orbital speed. Then he sent 'Tigress' down to open the airlocks for them.

"Shit! Don't those bozos know who the Hell we are? We're pals of Rafe Donnelly's and Johnny Raven's for Kami's sake!" grumbled Joey.

"Roger that, 'ISSP'. Acting Commander Joseph Bishop of the 3WA. 'LA2' pulling over as ordered. Airlock open so come aboard. Over." relayed Joey.

"Thank you for your cooperation, sir. We are coming aboard. 'Issp" Patroller Peterson out." relayed Genna.

"Why is the 'LA2' so damned familiar to me, Genna? I just know I've heard of it before." wondered Lumpass.

"Dunno, Sarge. All Mr Bishop said was that it was a 3WA patrol starship but this isn't part of their patrol area, is it, sir?" asked Genna.

"No, it most certainly is not, my dear! Still- I wish I could remember-- (By this time they had landed their speeder in the docking bays on Sub Level One and a pert brunette in a 'Stafleet' uniform was advancing on them) Oh hullo there, ma'am. (Algonquin flashed his shield and Genna showed hers) Sergeant Lumpass 'ISSP'. Take me to your pilot, please. This is Patroller Peterson, ma'am." said the 'ISSP' cop.

"Of course. Follow me, Sergeant, Patroller. Didn't you guys know we were 3WA?" demanded an annoyed 'Tigress' while she escorted them to the lift and up to the bridge.

"Joey, this is Sergeant Lumpass and Patroller Peterson of the 'ISSP', sir. Commander Bishop, 3WA, sir, ma'am." growled 'Tigress' and she sat down on the console.

"Here's my vidlicense and my ship's vidreg docs, Sergeant. (Lumpass passed the vidholos to Genna who inserted them into her analyzer and nodded) Everything should be in order, Sarge. We are on a rather urgent mission, sir. I guess I sorta exceeded the Warp limit a bit and I must have forgotten to 'decloak' as well." chortled Joey.

"If you're 3WA personnel how come you're both in 'Starfleet' uniforms?" demanded Genna fingering her sidearm.

Sergeant Algonquin Lumpass glanced casually at the name of the 'Angel 2's registered commander and first officer and stiffened. He grabbed the vid docs and licenses out of Genna's hands and shoved them back into Joey Bishop's hands.

"OK, sir. Just watch the 'cloaking' in the 'no cloaking zones' sectors and keep your Warps down from now on, sir. That is (He lowered his voice to a whisper) after you get to 'Shimougou', Mr Bishop. (He resumed his gruffer tone) I hope we don't have any more problems with you, sir. Goodbye. Come along, Genna." he said and he hustled his confused partner into the lift.

"My navvie will see you to the airlock. Goodbye and thanks. Have a pleasant patrol, Sarge." said Bishop.

"But Sarge! They are not 3WA! They're 'Starf-" spluttered Genna Peterson.

"Shut up you little fool! I've tangled with both the Commander and exec of the 'Lovely Angel 2' before, Genna! Believe you me, it's not something I want to go through again any time soon! I'll give ya the details when we're back in our speeder." whispered Algonquin.

When 'Tigress' had sealed the airlock behind them Sergeant Lumpass explained that a couple of years back when he was still part of the 'KP Patrol' police force in 'Furool (Foo-Lon) City' he had had the misfortune of pulling over two of the 3WA's 'Lovely Angels' and he had gotten his ass chewed out royally for it by Chief Roy Mustang himself! Genna giggled.

"I heard about that when I was training in Rafe Donnelly's division on Mars. So it was you that busted the 'Dirty Pair', Sarge?" asked his kawaii (lovely) compadre.

"I did not 'bust' O'Halloran and Donovan! I almost busted them. That ship we just left is their starship so I was not about to ask to be chewed out by Rafe Donnelly and Johnny Raven, Patroller! The 3WA have 'carte blanche' authority to deputize whoever they need or want to help them out and of course they control 'Starfleet Command' as well. (He glanced at his wristchromo) Almost 0500 (5 AM), love and we're off duty in an hour so let's grab some chow and then swing out to 'Kalufrax' before we head back to 'Moravian City' (Mars) eh?" suggested Lumpass and Genna nodded.

"Whatever ya say, Sarge. You're the Boss. Let's go. By the way- how'd ya know that ship was even there if the vessel was under 'cloak', sir?" she replied and her boss chuckled.

"By the dilythium trail of course. Bishop must have 'forgotten' to use countermeasures to camoflauge it, love." he explained.

"How's about a pizza or some cheesesteaks, Sarge? I know a great place we can go." said Peterson.

"How's about both? You got yourself a deal, girl. Which way?" he asked and Genna pointed towards the 'Burma Shave' style holovid signs which were advertising the 'Moon Over Mayhem' tavern and night club on 'BattleMoon #6' which Lumpass zeroed in on at a leisurely pace.

END of Ch 38. Ch 39 'Tapping A Supernova' or 'Ariadne's Thread' soon. Getting interesting eh? Wonder how our heroine's gonna get outta this one? Read on and r/r/s away as always. Have a wunnerful day and sfn/sys/jm/Kami bless you all for your interest and assistance. Hooble-toodle-doo! Toodles tomos watashi-K&K

I dickered over this chapter's titles. Let me know if I got 'em right eh?

PS- I really do appreciate all your loyalty and support over the years my tomos watashi all! And you can take that to the bank folks!-K&K

SFN/SYS/JM/KBYA/KYSOTI/TTFN/Toodles-K&K

Here's another pix for ya. Meet the 'LA2's own Creature from the Black Lagoon- Suba Revy Roberts! She is at the Academy as an instructor in weapons and fighting. She made two mistakes (so far!)- she tried to outshoot and then outdrink LA Boss Kei O'Halloran! of course she failed miserably at both! See ya around the anime webs!

The Latest Angel Wings-Chapter 30 As Promised

ANGEL WINGS

DISCLAIMER: OK 'Black Widow', it's all yours. First I wanna thank Mr T for the use of his Angels and stuff. Then I wanna thank everyone else who has been allowing us to use their creations here like Thom Beers for the use of his ice road truckers Hugh, Drew, Rick, Eric, Alex and Bear. I took the liberty of naming the 3WA academy in Furool City on Shimougou after Mr Haruka Takachiho in honour of his creations- the Angels. How was that, Yuri? Great, kiddo. Oh hai it sure was, Kei! Now since we left ya up in the air last time let's get to Ch 30 without any further meandering, shall we? Can the Ninjas and soul reapers and vampires really save the yobi er day? Stay tuned and find out. Here they come!

CHAPTER 30

'Talk or Die!' or 'Blue Meets A Pirate From the Past'

"Everything OK, Boss? You sent us the signal and here we are. C'mon kid, wake up." said Kakashi Sensei, holding a small vial of amyl nitrite under her nostrils. Kei came to suddenly and started coughing.

"Naruto. Water." he commanded the Ninja teen handed him his canteen. "Here, Boss. Now sip it slowly. You may have a concussion. Sakura, please check her out." added the masked Jonin. Sakura felt Kei's head and the redhead winced in pain.

"Sorry ma'am but you do have a nasty bump there. (She glanced around the hallway and frowned.) Oro the Hell did you hit anyway? There's absolutely nothing here!" said the Ninja nurse.

"Dammit to Hell! Some baka idiot has fused all the doos shut, Kashi!" yelped Rukia.
"Shut up before someone hears us, Rukia!" cautioned Neji.
Kei sat up and handed Naruto back his canteen. Then she waved off Sakura's attempted ministrations.

"Arigatou kid but I'm OK now. Shit! I must've crashed headfirst into Hugh's antique rig! Sorry Rukia but I'm the baka idiot that fused all the doors shut. In hindsight not exactly a really great idea I admit. Kashi? Johnny Berringer's gunsels up here are all trapped in either the bridge or his ready room forward. They're sealed in as well. Can you guys get in there somehow?" asked the Boss.

He smiled. "Sure Angel Lady but I'll have to blow away half of the damned wall to do it. That OK with you?" asked the Ninja Sensei.

Kei shrugged her shoulders. "Sure. It ain't our ship so oro the Fxxx? I don't care. Just go ahead and do your thing, boyo." replied Kei.

Vickie walked over and clamped a plain looking bracelet on Kei's wrist. "The vac- er I mean Commander Donovan told me to make darned sure I put that thing on your wrist first thing when we got to you, Boss." said 'Police Girl' but she looked confused.

"And why she wanted'Police Girl' to deliver jewelry to you on a mission is truly beyond me." said a bored looking Alucard who was loading a long barrelled six shot pistol which would've made 'Dirty Harry' Callahan go green with envy.

Kei smiled. "Watch carefully." she instructed and tapped the bracelet. For a very brief nano-second the kawaii redhead went totally au natural and then a red/black no nonsense 3WA winter uniform complete with battle armour and weapons materialized on her person. On either hip suddenly appeared a holstered Mark XIII ion cannon while her gloved hands were now cradling a plasma rifle.

"A 'morphing' bracelet. Yuri probably figured that they'd take mine away from me along with the rest of my jewelry arsenol- which they did. Now if you will be so kind as to do the honours, Sensei I think it's high time that we kick some ass, don't you?" said Kei grimly.

"If they did take away all of your goodies then how'd ya manage to Fxxx up all of the doors?" asked Hugh the Polar Bear who had just arrived and was feeling around for his truck.

"The morons allowed me to keep my headband and I had a minilaser sword hilt hidden underneath it. Here. Try these, Hugh. They'll help ya to find your rig." replied Kei and she tossed the ice roader a pair of multi-coloured specs not unlike ancient Terran 3-D glasses.

"There she is! Hello there girl. Did ya miss me? (He turned to Kei) I'm driving the getaway car eh, Boss? (She nodded) Then I'll just fire up the old 'Crow's Nest' so we can turn and burn, ma'am! Give 'em Hell, Reds!" hooted a jovial Polar Bear as he climbed up and into empty air!

Meanwhile up the hall Kakashi made a few hand gestures and suddenly the tall Jonin Ninja was holding a glowing green energy globule between the palms of both of his hands.

"Lightning blade jutsu! HA!" he cried and pressed the orb into and through the bridge portals which suddenly disappeared along with the ready room door and half of the bulkhead wall in a deafening explosion. A quick chop rom Neji disarmed Lex Luthor while a spinning pivot kick from Nurse Sakura laid Shade down for the count.

ZANG! A bolt from Kei's plasma rifle stung Komica's hand and he dropped the 'kanai' (stone dagger) he'd been in the act of throwing at Kakashi Sensei.

WHAM! A hard right from Rukia and Orochimaru was out cold.

"Going somewhere, were we?" asked a grinning Ryuuk scaring the Hell out of poor John Berringer who unloaded a full magazine of disruptor ionic energy bolts into the horrifying 'Shinigami' spectre.

He stood there petrified until- 'Hey Johnny!" He turned and POW! Leona's left cross sent him reeling into the outstretched arms of Raven, Blackfire and Hinata.

"Forgive me please, sir." said Hinata Hyuga as the touch of her 'gentle fist' jutsu sent the gang leader into Dreamland.

"NAI!" yelled Kei as she launched heself between Hinata and Berringer just an instnt too late.

"Oro is wrong, ma'am?" asked the young Genin Ninja girl in a soft timid childish voice.

"I needed him to call off his wolves, Sweetie! Now oro the Hell are we gonna do?" she yelled.
Then they all blinked and let out a collective "Fucking Ass!"

Attention all hands! This is John Berringer speaking. I hereby order you to lay down your arms and surrender. That is an order. It is all over and unfortunately we have lost. Tat is all." said Ryuuk who was speaking into a PA mike held by Raven while he hovered over the console and the grinning death god sounded exactly like John Berringer!

"Neji! Take the team and sweep the decks! Round 'em up and lock 'em in the brig! (Kakashi grabbedKomica) Where's the brig, Four Aizu (Eyes)? ("Deck Five curse you t Hell!" was the Jonin's answer) You heard, Neji? (He nodded) Then why are you guys still here? Your orders, Madam Reds?" asked the Sensei.

Kei raised her voice. "Mugghi? Fly this tub to the airfield where our other 'Angels' are docked. Alucard? Tell Hugh that we won't be needing his rig aftr all and to gt his ass over here to the bridge stat! Raven! Find 'Black Widow' and bring her directly to me. I'll be in oro's left of John's ready room. Well done guys but we do have one more little erand to run before we turn and burn for home. After our prisoners have been safely stowed away post a guard. Five should do it. We'll convene in the rec room in an hour. Dismissed." said the Boss and the bridge quickly emptied out.

Neji and Hinata's 'Bayakugan Aizu' (Far seeng eyes) located all of Johnny's goons and with everyone's help they had all been secured in the brig.

"Hold it sister! Neji! Ain't she the spider lady creep that Auntie Kei wants upstairs?" asked Ten Ten.

The Ninja maiden had been beamed over from the 'Angel 3' to help out with the roundup. She had just grabbed 'Black Widow' by her collar and now she shoved her towards Hinata's half-brother who caught the surly haridan bitch before slowly nodding to his compadre.

"Yeah, ya got that right, Ten Ten. She sure the Hell is. Good work. Take her up to the Boss Lady in the ready room. Top floor behind the bridge forward. Got that?" replied Neji.

"Watch her, Tennie! She's real tricky! Better make ure ya search her good, Tennie!" advised Leona.

Ten Ten nodded while she was relieving the Widow of her visible weapons. Then the shorter Ninja girl stuck a strange looking piece of paperor parchment covered with runes (like a sutra or a mantra) onto her prisoner's forehead.

"That is a 'paper bomb', ma'am and all I need to do to detonate it is to snap my fingers. We are going into the Ladies' restrooms now and I am going to search you for concealed weapons- thoroughly. Get moving. No tricks or else." whispered the young Genin Ninja who had not forgotten the harsh indignities suffered by Auntie Yuri and the 'Blonde Bomber' at this evil female's hands. Then she feigned a finger snap. The Widow scowled but complied.

Once inside the restroom Ten Ten sealed the door and pointed her plasma rifle at her charge.

"I was told not to take any chances with you, Madam. Gomen (I'm sorry) but am going to need to have you remove everything that you are wearing and put on one of those kimonos hanging up over there. (The Widow snarled and Ten Ten cocked her weapon. The older henchwoman removed her outer and most of her inner garments until she stood before the younger girl wearing only a brassiere and pantyhose. Then she took down a kimono.) Hey! I said everything off and I damned well meant it, lady! (The Widow lunged and ZANG! a plasma bolt stung her right temple.) I am a crack shot, Madam and I missed on purpose! The next time I will aim further left and I won't miss! Now get 'em off! (Her prisoner yanked off her bra and slid her minibikini underbriefs down and off before pulling on the kimono and belting its obi.) OK. Now put these on and no tricks. (Ten Ten tossed her a pair of forced beam handcuffs. The Widow looked glowing daggers at the kid but she did as she'd been told.) Very good. Face the wall and assume the position. (The Widow angrily did so and slung the rifle across her back. Then she drew her Mark XIII and shoved it into the Widow's spine. Keeping the Mark rammed into the Widow's back she frisked and patted down the older woman very carefully. After that she went through her fuku (clothing) and other belongings using the same amount of care. Her search turned up nothing on the Widow, however, her fanny pouch held a small treasuretrove of goodies including a smallish derringer, a few grenades, some gas vials and a laser blade. Her pockets were stuffed to overflowing with poisons, bombs, guns and blades all of which went down the recycle chute along with every stitch of the fuku. Ten Ten rememberedeverything that Auntie Yuri and Auntie Mae had told her about their treatment and Ten Ten wa not sorry for the Widow not one eensy teensy weensy little bit nosiree!) No shoes for you! You took away Auntie Yuri's and poor Auntie Mae's so you cannot have yours back either! (Ten Ten tossed the Widow's boots down the recycle chute along with their concealed gas bombs and toe blades.) Now march! (Ten Ten reached behind her and released the door. Then she prodded the Widow out through the door, down the hallway and into the lift.) Bridge. The lift carried them swiftly to the very apex of the ship and deposited them outside of the bridge entrance. Ten Ten force marched her charge down the rear hallway to the ready room and tapped on the wall. At a curt "Come in." she ushered her prisoner into the room and slammed her onto a chair.) The 'Black Widow', Boss Lady as ordered, ma'am." said Ten Ten.

Kei looked up from her seat at John's desk and smiled. "Good work, kiddo. Leave us. You can go." commanded the redhead. Ten Ten reholstered her Mark nd saluted. Then she stepped forward and bent to remove her'bomb' from the Widow's forehead. "Leave that thing right where it is, Trainee. Dismissed!" barked Kei.

"That 'thing' as you call it is a bomb and the slightest sound will trigger it, Boss so be real careful, ma'am." warned Ten Ten and she left for the rec room.

Kei grinned. "So just the snap of my fingers can send your sorry ass to 'Heglos' eh?" chuckled the redhead.

"Huh?" said the confused Widow and Kei explained that here on her home world of 'Workoh' the inhabitants' name for the region of the afterlife was called 'Heglos' and then the fiery Amazon stood up and towered over the cringing frightened woman. She placed a fingertip on the bomb ever so gently.

"Boom. You're dead, baby. Now answer me this. Does our Johnny Boy have anything ele in mind besides using those 'systemic inhibitors' to gain control of our ships and sonic cannons? (The 'Black Widow' shook her head.) Dd he or 'Ghostie' have any booby traps set up aboard this tub?" demanded Kei.

"How the Sam Hell should I know? Ask Lex! He was John's fair-haired boy, not me!" snapped the Widow. Kei nodded, bent forward and carefully peeled the 'paper bomb' off the woman' forehead.

"I believe ya, kiddo." she breathed and then odered up a detail to escort her to the brig.

"Put her into some fuku and make sure that someone keeps a wary aizu on her ass at all times. If she causes us any trouble, ship her ass over to the brig on my ship- the 'Angel 2'! (Several key crew personnel had beamed over from the 'Angel 3' to assist the teams on 'Starcrusher'.)

"Blue, run a deck by deck 'Tach scan' (Tachyion particle beam scan) for booby traps, mines and bombs. Have Revy Roberts paged and sent up here stat. Ya got all that OK?" snapped Kei. Rukia nodded and saluted before she and her security detail team escorted the 'Black Widow' to her brig cell. Then the redhead trilled over to the bridge.

"Bluesummers here. Oro?" trilled Legato.

"Fly this tub over to my 'Angel 2' and dock it. Think we'll have enough room for the 'Angels 1 and 3' down in our 'Angel 2's bays, Blue?" trilled the Boss Lady.

"Nai! No way in the nine Hells of Dante's Inferno are ya gonna squeeze those two 'Leviathans' in with 'Starcrusher' and all of the other transports and the rest of that junk ya got down there already, Boss. Gomen er excuse me for a sec onegai (please). There. Nice and smooth. OK, ma'am. We are now docked. Orders?" trilled her BetaZoid pilot.

"I will be briefing all hands ashita (tomorrow) at eleven hundred hours (11 AM) in the 'Angel 2's rec room. Let's just try and have a quiet dinner (on one of Kei's ships? Dream on baby!) and get in a good night's sleep eh? I'm bushed. Kei out." she trilled.

Legato powered down the crime lord's huge vessel before he took the 'Angel 2's express lift up to the bridge where he powered down any unnecessary systems. Next he took a skysled and did the same thing to the 'Angels 1 and 3' before jetting back over to the 'Angel 2' for his dinner and then some very much needed sleep.

The repast was excellent tonight (Beef Wellington with all the trimmings and chocolate eclairs for dessert no less!) and Legato had three helpings of it. He washed it all down with a superb Chablis wine of local vintage.

Saying his good nights to all hands and feeling a mite light-headed and just a wee bit tipsy Blue stumbled as he exited the lift and would surely have fallen had he not been steadied by the strong arms of a very tall redhead who assisted him to his quarters.

"Arigatou for that assist, Boss Lady. I guess I just cannot handle my liquor like you Gaels can, Kei." he said.

"I ain't nobody's 'boss', my tomo. Where the Hell am I anyhow, sir? One minute I was tucked away in my cramped little cabin going over some navigational charts for oro just 'might' be 'Onepiece' and the next thing I know I'm bumping into you in this damned hallway! By the way my name's Richards, sir. Nami Richards. And you are Mister--" asked his new companion offering him her hand in greeting.

Legato Aloysius Bluesummers sobered up prett damned quick and did a double take!
"Y-Y-You a-a-aren't O'Halloran, are ya?" he replied nervously and for the first time he got a really good closeup look at his rescuer- a newcomer!

Taller than Boss Lady Kei by almost a third of a meter and with a mop of hair more orange (although nowhere near as orange as Ichigo Kurosaki's!) than red she towered over the BetaZoid captain by a good quarter of a meter.

Her costume although strange was definitely not a uniform or at least if it was it was like no uniform Legato had ever seen before anyway. From the black do-rag kerchief atop her head to the toes of her highly polished black boots she looked every inch like an 18th Century Terran pirate- an honest to Kami buccaneer!

Her soft green aizu blinked at him from behind old-fashioned red tinted eyeglasses or spectacles. She wore a black blazer trimmed with gold piping over a deep aoishi turtleneck set off by a pink cravat-like scarf. A striped tie peeked from beneath the cravat and it was attached to a stiff white shirt. Black gloves encased her hands and the face of a wristchromo (or were they still called wrist watches in her era?) peeped out from her left cuff.

A long black ankle length coat was draped across her slender frame while a very long white scarf trailed to the floor and a white fox fur was wound around her kawaii throat. Black stovepipe jeans completed her unusual outfit and a stilettto dagger was strappd to her right thigh.

A long gold chain (attched to an old-fashioned wallet?) depended from her left thigh below a dark fanny pouch which must serve as a purse or pocketbook.

Legato pointed towards the stiletto. "That thing your only weapon, Miss Richards?" asked Bluesummers.

"Huh? Oh. That. I've got a brace of pistols under my arms if that's oro ya mean Mister, Mister--" replied the girl who was a few years younger than the Boss and her exec.

Legato grinned. Gomen er I am sorry. Where are my manners this evening? Bluesummers. Legato Bluesummers, ma'am but folks just call me Blue." he said and stuck out his hand.

"Call me Nami er Blue. Pleased to meet ya. May I sit down please?" she said and shook his hand. Blue waved her to a chair and she sat.

"I er was aboard a ship but now--" she began.

"Now you are still aboard a ship, Nami. By 'ship' I assume you mean an ancient Terran sailing vessel? Correct?" asked the pilot.

"Yeah. A ship. Just like this one although mine is a whole lot smaller, Blue." replied Nami and she accepted the mug of java Legato had just repped up.

"How the Hell did ya do that just now? You asked for coffee and it just-- came!" exclaimed the astonished girl and she leapt to her feet.

"Calm down. Osawaru er onegai er please sit down, Nami. I am very much afraid that this place is not Terra- your Earth. It's a planet called 'Workoh' and it's about a trillion lightyears beyond your world, kid. You are correct. This is a ship but it's a starship, an intergalactic patrol starship. (Nami's gloved hand hovered over her blazer's left breast)

"Relax, Honey. We aren't after Terrans today. Please answer me this, girl. Oro year was it when you left home today? (Nami looked at him as if he had just escaped from a lunatic asylum!) Humour me, Nami. Oro year was i?" asked a straight-faced Legato.

Nami Richards blinked. "It was 1998 of course same as it is now, man!" she snapped angrily. "Dammit! It sure is hot as Hell in here, Blue!" she added.

"Well I'm gonna make ya feel a whole Helluva lot hotter, love. The current year is AD 2251 and this is the 23rd Century, Nami not the 20th. No wonder you're sweating. Better take off that heavy coat before you roast yourself to death in it, kiddo." replied Blue.

Nami stood and slipped off her long coat, scarf and white fur. The blazer and turtleneck followed along with a brace of pistols in twin shoulder holsters and harness rig. She started to loosen her tie and unbuckle her jeans.

Legato coughed discreetly. "Would you like me to tuen my back, go into the kitchen or would you care to use one of the bedrooms or anything? I er am a gentleman, my child." asked Blue.

Nami kicked off her boots and jeans leaving her in just the white shirt and tie. The shirttails covered her nether regions. She grinned.

"Nai. That's OK. I have a 'mizuki' (swimsuit) on underneath this getup, Blue. Legato stared at her long bare legs and raised his aizu brows) Maybe it er would be more dignified and ladylike to finish this in one of the bedrooms. (Legato indicated an inner door) If you'll excuse me. I won't be a minute." said Nami apologetically.

Thirty seconds later she returned wearing a two piece leopardskin beach bikini. A fanny pouch encircled her waist and a 'grouch bag' hung from the left side of her bikini bottoms. She was barefoot but she had kept the kerchief and tinted glasses.

"There! That feels a whole Helluva lot better, man. Now you were saying?" she said and lit a cigarette with a gold lighter she'd pulled out of her 'grouch bag' and sat down.

Legato speedily filled her in on the state of the universe and how in all likelihood she had somehow travelled here to the 'Angel 2' in this era. Then he gave her the bad news.

"Oro? I got here through some hole in the Fxxxing sky and ya don't know when or even if I can be sent back home to Earth in 1998? (Legato nodded) Shit! That's just great, man! I don't even have so much as a change of undies with me so oro am I gonna do? I got no place to stay tonight even!" she whimpered.

Then she took off her glasses and fluttered her aizu lashes at the big guy.

"Would it be er OK if I like crashed here tonight on your couch, Blue? Please!" she pleaded and Blue nodded.

He raised his voice ever so slightly. "Get Miss Richards here oroever she needs, 'CC', willya? She's er crashing here tonight on my sofa. Arigatou, tomo mine." he said to-- nobody at all!

"Of course, mon capitaine. Don't you fret none, sir. I know how to keep my big trap shut. Nudge, nudge eh? Miss Richards? Do you require pajamas for the night? (Nami who was all at sea involuntarily shook her kawaii (lovely) head and stared at-- nothing!) Very well. Here are some undergarments which should fit you. Ashita we will get you all kitted out. Your own fuku (clothing) will be laundered, dried, cleaned and pressed and will be ready by morning. Will there be anything else, Madam? (A thoroughly dumbfounded Nami shook her head again.) Then I bid you good night. Pleasant dreams, Miss." said 'CC' and Legato chuckled.

Then he started to explain who exactly 'CC' was but Nami had drifted off into slumber before he had finished.

The sofa was surprisingly comfy cozy and Nami slept fitfully until she was awakened by a slight trilling sound in her ears. The sound seemed to be coming from her earrings (which had been replaced with comlink rhomboids) and somebody (or some thing?) was gently telling her that it was ten hundred hours (10 AM) and that Nami had a meeting appointment with the commander in ten minutes.

Nami yawned and stretched.

"Boy! I must've gotten myself gloriously loaded last night! Gad! Did I really try and do a 'Gypsy Rose Lee' number in front of that cool guy I met last night? Ooh! My poor head! Well I'd best get ready. This 'commander' dude is probably some old stuffed shirt- all spit and polish so he is not gonna wanna be meeting me in a bikini!" she thought aloud.

Nami Richards had no idea of course just how 'casual' things were aboard the 'Angels' so she quickly showered, put on her new underthings and found that this 'CC' guy had been true to his word.

Her own freshly laundered garments were hanging neatly in the closet while her boots had been 'spit shine' polished and now reflected like mirrors! Her stiletto dagger had been honed and polished. Her twin Beretta .25 calibre automatic pistols were polished and had been fully loaded.

Nami dressed quickly but opted not to wear anything over her blazer today. She tied the kerchief around her head, straightened her pink cravat, adjusted her tinted spectacles, slid her stiletto dagger into its thigh sheaf, buckled on her fanny pouch, shoved her wallet into her jeans' hip pocket and clipped it to its chain, spun both automatics into their concealed holsters and called her new roomie.)

"Blue? Legato? Mr. Bluesummers? Sir? You here?" she shouted.

"Captain Bluesummers is up on the bridge, Miss Richards. At noon we lift off for home. He 'is' one of our pilots you know. I er trust that you found the emerald ones more to your liking, Miss? Ah! I see that you did manage to locate your own attire and I must say that you do look most striking in black, Miss Nami. When you leave these quarters turn left and you will find the lift banks at the end of the hallway. Get aboard one and just tell it to take you directly to the dining hall. It will deposit you on Surface Level Two in front of the rec room door. The dining hall is next door to the rec room's bar. Hurry up now because Marshall O'Halloran is expecting you. Sayonara, Madam." instructed "cc" and all of a sudden Nami realized something.

"Hey! How the Hell did you know that I picked out the 'emerald' ones? There was a whole big stack of different coloured underwear on that chair, Mr. er 'CC', is it?" demanded Nami Richards, the svelte captain of the Terran vessel known as the 'Pirate Princess' and 'CC' smirked.

"Emerald green is definitely your colour, my dear child and matches your kawaii aizu perfectly." replied 'CC'.

Nami was shocked and angry.

"You 'watched' me get dressed? You pervert! I've got a good mind to report you to Admiral O'Helloran and I think I will too dammit! Good day to you, sir. Many thanks for the directions!" yelled Nami and she slammed the door behind her.

All was as 'CC' had told her and the barkeep silently pointed Nami to the dining hall next door. A hush fell over the huge room when Nami came in.

"Fleet officer in the hall! Ten-Hut!" yelled Ichigo Kurosaki when he caught sight of oro he thought was at least a fleet admiral!

When Nami finally realized that she was the 'officer' she shouted "At Ease!" and that lifted the hush. It wasn't long before 'Animal House' was once again in full swing.

"Where the Hell's this Admiral O'Helloran dammit? I'm supposed to have an appointment with him! demanded an annoyed Nami Richards and the place exploded with laughter!

END of Ch 30. Ch 31 'Angelic Travel Plans Anyone?' or 'New Navvie Aboard?' coming soon. Getting interesting eh? Wonder how our heroine's gonna get outta this one? Read on and r/r/s away as always. Have a wunnerful day and sfn/sys/jm/Kami bless you all for your interest and assistance. Hooble-toodle-doo! Toodles tomos watashi-K&K

PS- I really do appreciate all your loyalty and support over the years my tomos watashi all! And you can take that to the bank folks!-K&K

By the way that pix at the top of this post are my 'Lovely Angel' Kei (the grim redhead with the huge Mark XIII ion cannon in her fists) and 'Lovely Angel' Yuri (the fur clad violet-maned vixen behind her. That is a small but deadly Mark III miniblaster in her hot little hand. Make no mistake folks. This kawaii er lovely duo lives up to their dreaded nickname of the- 'Dirty Pair' by never forgetting Kei's motto:

"Never blow up tomorrow what you can blow up today!"

Kei's Interview (as promised)

Sticky Message aka Announcement


Everyone raved over this faux (mock) interview betwixt Kei and her bossman Anton Wilhelm Gustav, her Sector 9 unit chief in the 3WA (World Welfare Works Assn) the peacekeeping arm of the 'UG' (United Galactica Federation of Galaxies) so here it is for all of you lucky readers to enjoy. Gomen er sorry but I still haven't gotten the hang for posting pix here yet. However, I have included a couple of links where you can find my photo albums if you want to see these and tons more anime pix! Without further ado hre is---





Lovely Angel Kei's Interview (at last!)




KEI INTERVIEW






Premise: Kei and I are here today at the 3WA training base station and I thought it would make a great opportunity to use our break period to let all you folks out there find out something about what my Lovely Angel, Kei, has been up to of late. We will also update you on our lives ever since we first met each other all those years ago.






Mugghi and Nammo are here with us while we all test out some new weapons recently installed on the Lovely Angel. So for purposes of this interview I am the Keiman(KM) while she is Kei. Wherever I make reference to another character and/or series it will be so noted in brackets as well as all tones of voice and/or actions. Here we go:-






KM: Good afternoon, Kei.






Kei: Hi Bossman, what's up?






KM: What have you been up to lately?






Kei:(Confused) Er, you already know that, sir.






KM:Yes, Kei-I know but your fans don't.






Kei:Oh OK-gotcha! I'm cool but sometimes I miss the vacuumhead!






KM:Er, Kei, do you mean Yuri?






Kei: Of course, who else?






KM: OK, just try to be nice today, please?






Kei: Alright, I'll be good (Giggles)






KM:Now what have you been doing lately?






Kei: Well, we've been here testing new weapons. They just installed a supercool sonic disruptor beam cannon on the ship and I can't wait to play with it! Yesterday, I remodified my power blaster and now I can hit the bull (target) from 187 meters with pinpoint accuracy! Oh, sorry you meant besides work, didn't you sir? Well, last night we all went to the Shangri-La Casino (see Original Dirty Pair-Episode 5) and I won 80 thousand credits playing meteor! They have really fixed that place up nice since the last time we were there. And we ran into Faye(Cowboy Bebop) and Vash(Trigun) too.






KM: I know all about that. I had one devil of a time talking you and Faye out of turning in Vash for the 60 billion double dollars reward!






Kei: Well, technically he is a criminal, ain't he?






KM: Yes but not in our jurisdiction; anyway he's a good guy after all. Incidentally, you and Yuri never even tried to recapture Caldy (see DP Flash-Mission 2/Act 3) after that hot springs tour fiasco on World's World did you? And he was a wanted felon on our turf! Why he even conned you a couple of times, didn't he?






Kei:(Angrily) You promised NEVER to bring that issue up again!






KM:OK! Have you heard from Yuri recently? Even though you both still work for the 3WA (Yuri is still in Poporo's section) you now work for Gustav in Unit 9 so you don't see each other there too often, do you?






Kei: No, sir we don't but we do keep in touch via email and vidphone pretty regularly. She vidded me last night. Of course, she can't stand her new partner Kumi (on loan to us from the ATC where she protects Momiji's Blue Seed from the Aragami). She says Kumi's motto is "If you got ammo, keep shooting!" Anyway WE get all the tough missions and that purple-headed punching bag (see DPF-Mission 2/Act 2) gets all the easy ones!






KM: Now, Kei, that is not avery nice thing to say, is it? And after you promised to be good.






Kei:(Sulkily) OK Sorry. Maybe Yuri doesn't get all the easy jobs but it sure as Hell seems like it! And she got to keep little Mugghi too!






KM: But you and Marlene(Marlene Angel is Kei's new partner-on loan from Earth II where she protects Earth from the Blue Gender Blues monsters) got big Mugghi and Nammo (their robot is Nammo and Mugghi is a genetically engineered android not unlike a huge kitty cat), didn't you? And each of your teams got a new Lovely Angel starship to use. Could we be fairer than that? (Perhaps I should explain that the Central Computer goofed again. It assigned two Lovely Angels team codenames: Yuri/Kumi are Lovely Angels 1 while Kei/Marlene are Lovely Angels 2. Kei's team is now part of Unit 9 and their chief is Gustav. Yuri/Kumi is still part of the old department section and their chief is Poporo). And Yuri told me that Kumi causes more destruction than you usually do.






Kei:(Shocked) Trouble, me? I don't know what you mean, sir.






KM: Yes you do, Miss Kei! Oh well I guess the cat's out of the bag now folks so I'll tell you. I, the Keiman, am really Kei's new section chief at Unit 9-Gustav (My cousin is Chief Gazelle of Galaxy Cup Volleyball Tourney fame-see DPF-Mission 3/Act 3 for details).






Kei: Sorry, sir! I guess I gave you away, didn't I? (Giggles hysterically)






KM:OK now where were we? Oh, yeah, how is Yuri really doing? You know what I mean; I believe she vidded you last evening?






Kei:(Ecstatic) Oh wow I almost forgot! She just ran into this real cool guy in Florida (his name is Wilbury I think) on the beach. She's there modeling or some such crap. And she is truly GONE over him man! He must be a hunk to turn Yuri on full blast like that; she couldn't shut up about how great he was through the whole call! She really seems to like him a lot and who knows? Remember how she almost got hitched to Kyarine (see ODP-Episode 6 for details) on that island a few years back? Yeah, I know I probably blew it for them by crashing the wedding as a nun but I was trying to complete a mission at the time, wasn't I?






KM: Did you have to destroy the whole damned church? Chief Gooley's stomach was doing somersaults for weeks after that!






Kei: Sorry, oh, Yuri has also been singing at some of those Karaoke clubs over there too. She really does have a great voice you know.






KM: I know. Er, your voice isn't half bad either, Kei.






Kei:(Blushing) Oh, you're just saying that Chief.






KM: No really. I've heard you do that Non-stop Angel number ("In Love With Thrills") and you're good! When you, er, absented yourself from the 3WA on that hiatus, wasn't one of your jobs singing in a club?






Kei: First I quit the 3WA whether Garner accepted my resignation or not! Yuri thought I quit too, which was why the little son-- er I mean the true blue trocon decided to follow me to Waldess's cruiseship and arrest me for carrying an illegal weapon (see DPF-Mission 1/Acts 1 to 6 for details). I wonder if she ever discovered who was backing her up when she was inside Kapp's head; of course Garner got me to do it for her. But that's all water under the brifdge now. Anywho, I hope this Wilbury guy works out for the kid, I really do! I'm two months older than Yuri you know. Oh yeah and to get back to your previous (is that right?) question sir-we did get big Mugghi and Nammo and Yuri does love that furball Mugghi a lot. By the way, Chief, would you believe that on World's World (see DPF-Mission 2/Act 1) that idiot couldn't tell the difference between a real cat and an android one with a bomb in it! If I hadn't have grabbed that thing outta her arms she'd've been toast!






KM: Er, incidentally, all during that Siren (see DPF-Mission 1/Acts 1 to 6) incident you two were never once referred to by that name, were you? And since then everyone seems to call both teams the Dirty-






Kei:(Mad as Hell) Don't say it!






KM:OK they probably all know it by now anyway (I am referring to the "Dirty Pair" moniker of course.) Put that blaster away, young lady, right now!). By the way, there is something that I have always been curious about.






Kei:(Snickering) What's that sir?






KM:When you were sent to Eden (see "Project EDEN" file), it seems the first thing you did was to search the mines. You came across several troughs filled with filthy, contaminated and for all you knew, radioactive waste water. Whatever possessed the two of you to decide to strip off and bathe in it?






Kei:(Giggling) Well it seemed like a good idea at the time sir.







KM: Luckily you both survived that ordeal. To return to my previous statement, when exactly and under what circumstances did you two become known by that name? I believe that may have been before I met you?






Kei: Yeah, it was long before that Chief. It was our first mission and we called it the "Brian" disaster(see Classic TV-Episode 1). "Brian" was the computer controlling all functions of the Damocles Tower in Elinore City on Shimougou and we lived there on the 35th floor in an apartment. "Brian" went on the fritz and started shutting down the building and wrecking the city so we decided to shut him down. We caused a bit of damage to the city and the tower before we got it under control. OK, the tower now lists at a 30 degree angle because there is no foundation left to hold it upright. But it wasn't my fault!






KM: How did you finally stop "Brian"?Kei:(Again laughing hysterically) We gave him an impossible problem to solve and he overloaded!






KM: Which was?






Kei:(Giggling) We asked it to decide between me and Yuri-who is the better (sexier) one?






KM: The answer of course being impossible since a computer cannot decide an answer requiring the use of emotions, right?






Kei:(Confused) If you say so sir. But he should have picked me!






KM: i'm not about to touch that one, folks.






Kei:(Sulkily) Well he shoulda picked me.






KM: I hear Keitaroo(see DPF-Mission 3/Act 1 for details) is back. Has he been over to see you yet?






Kei:(Puzzled) Oh, my godkid! You bet he has. Er you know he has a crush on Derringer Merrill Strife (Trigun) don't you? Vash told me at Shangri-La last night after you left us. OK so I stayed and lost my 80 thou at meteor! Why do you think that Faye and me tried to grab Vash for the 60 billion?






KM: We'll let that pass for now. How is Keitaroo doing? He's gotta be on Easy Street with that fortune of his dad's (the Senator) he inherited last year.






Kei: Oh, you didn't know? He donated that to help rebuild July and August (the two cities that Vash atomized on Gunsmoke). I told you he had a thing for Merrill, didn't I? But he has just enrolled at the Academy and we may get him here with us at Unit 9 real soon!






KM: Oh no! Another one! Well, I see that they are calling us back to the ship to put that new sonic disruptor beam cannon through its paces again. So let me take this time we have left to humbly apologize to Yuri for calling her "brainless" all those times during "Siren" and for letting you know where Waldess went after you quit the force. Gazelle also asked me to say sorry for calling her "pathetic" and for that ordeal he put you two through when he trained you here for that volleyball tourney. Did he really flood your room and make you stand in oil to play and train you in a sauna?






Kei:(Laughing) The worst was when he tried to appeal to us to stay by telling us about those "50 brave agents who made the ultimate sacrifice" trying to arrest Mr. President. But we got back at him later in the hospital. Er, did his hair ever grow back sir?






KM: Yes eventually it did. As a final thought, how about reminding everyone what your motto is?






Kei:(Solemnly) Never blow up tomorrow what you can blow up today! Yo, Chief! Are they calling us again? ooh, that announcer just said the same thing Yuri did at the prison (see ODP-Episode 1) when she used her laserlight ring to blow open that vault door (after I ran outta ammo) to get the warden out. They were like "Son of-"






KM: Yes I recall them "SOB-What the Hell!" to which you replied "That didn't suck!" It was one of the very few times Yuri used profanity- unlike you!






Kei:(Shocked) Who me? I'm sure I don't know what you mean sir.






KM: Yes you do. Whoa! They were calling us and there's our final warning. That's the big cheese- Territorial Chief Garner. (Speaking into Comlink) We're coming sir.






Kei:(Giggling) We'd better get going sir!






KM: (Laughing) Any final thoughts for your loyal fans, Kei?






Kei:(Mock Serious) To paraphrase Red Green "Always keep your blaster on its bull" (Coyly, to KM) "Thanks for letting me blow off some steam, Honey."






KM:(Angrily) Honey! I am your section chief, TroCon Kei! And don't you forget it!






Kei:(Apologetic) I'm very sorry sir.






KM:(Looking worried) Kei, you did tell Mugghi to clean the cannon first before he loaded it, didn't you?






Kei:(Perplexed) Huh? Er, no sir, I thought you did.






KM:(Mad as Hell) You idiot! If he tries to fire that thing now---






Kei:(Running full tilt down the corridor) I'm already on it Chief! (Speaking through comlink earring) Hey, Mugghi, don't touch those gun controls until I get there!






KM:(Fuming) Another fine mess she's gotten us into!






Kei:(Fading voice) Mugghi! Nammo! Wait'll I get my hands on you! I'll-






KM:(Back to Normal) Sorry about that outburst but sometimes Kei just ticks me off so much. In closing, folks, let me just say that it has been an honor and a privilege to have known both Yuri and Kei. I am especially proud to have Kei on my staff at Unit 9 (Eat your heart out Poporo!). The girls did save him and his kid Rosa from that madman Berringer (see DPF-Mission 3/Act 5). I wonder if the three of them ever finished writing all those "Sorry we blew up half of Elinore City again" letters finally? I must remember to ask Kei. What am I saying? I still have a headache from last night when I got drunk and told her Faye was cuter than she was!






Kei:(Calling from vidphone) Chief, Garner and Gazelle are waiting for us and they are both as mad as Hell! You better get your butt over here now! Pronto!






KM:(Speaking on comlink)Coming Kei. (Aside) Believe it or not I AM her superior although sometimes it may seem otherwise.(Dawning realization) Oh no, if she fires that gun it's sayonara time for this complex!(Running off toward ship at full tilt) Well, that's all folks. Goodbye from us both and keep sending us (especially Kei) those fan letters and emails, too. Kei!!!--






Kei:(Reassuring) Relax Chief. It's OK. I've got everything under control again. (Sound of BOOM!! and Kei crying) Sorry sir! But it's not my fault really!






AFTERMATH: As I said before I am honored and proud to have my fave animegal on my team at Unit 9. Of course I do get to see her almost every day.






DISCLAIMER: You folks know all of this is false (made up) don't you? I tried to use Kei's point of view in both asking and answering these questions for this interview. I would REALLY like to be Kei's bossman but how could that ever be? I am an actual 54 (now 59 as of 7/8/2008) year old guy and she is just my absolute fave animebabe! But I will never find a more beautiful (and dangerous) animegal than you, my lovely angel, Kei!






APOLOGY: I must ask Mr. Wilbury (Lovely Yuri Website) to forgive my "poetic license" for Kei's answers about his Yuri's lifestyle. I did not mean to offend him in any way whatsoever and if I have upset him or anyone in any way I most humbly apologize. Gomen! Such was never my intention at all.






GRATITUDE: I want to thank each and every one who has assisted me over these past few months (years now) since I rediscovered anime in a big way. I especially wanna thank Nozmo, Wim, Mr. Wilbury, the Lovely Angels, the Extraordinary Kei Shrine, Dirty Pair Flash Fanatics, Jeff, YuriandKeifanatics, Tom Mitchell, and of course Kei thanks all of her devoted fans (as does Yuri and Gustav) whether or not they read this rather long interview with my fave animebabe, lovely Kei.






Without their able help and guidance I could have never achieved this hallmark in my life. Maybe someday with their aid I will be able to establish my own "Lovely Angel Kei" website (now I have two and a trio of blogs too).






Thank you all from the bottom of Keiman's heart and as Kei observed "Keep yer blaster on the bull".






Domo Arigato Tomah Ours and Sayonara from the Keiman and Kei.Visit the AnimeonTV web site at view link






I must apologize but posting pix is a bit tough right now here at blogspot so to see any or all of these pix go to either:






www.eons.com/people/groups/anime-a-holics/photos





www.msn.com/yahoogroups/Animeaholics1/photos








They are described in detail below.






Here's how Naruto and the kids at Hidden Leaf Village celebrate Thanksgiving:-







Here's a happy holiday Kurusumasu tree for ya.







Special two for Blaine- Here are first Lovely Angel Kei:-





This is Lovely Angel Yuri:-







Special domo arigatou for this one to highteckdudu from animeonline.net- Neko (Olson) the shapeshifting neko mata trill (the way I first saw her):-







This is a mystery character (OK of course I know where she's from but er do you?) courtesy of DragonBall the former moderator at animeonline.net so enjoy! Hint- This is from a really old anime folks:-







Last but not least again I am indebted to highteckdudu for this pix of Neko who or is it whom I made not only into a shapeshifting nekomata trill (she can turn into a cat like Yoruichi does on Bleach) but also into Jon Harlock's navigator and third in command behind his exec on the 'Botany Bay 2' (Khan stole the first BB ship) and she's a gun freak like Kei O'Halloran and her 2140 counterpart Keisie. Keisie is the one that blew the rift in the universe in AD 2140 thus plunging things into utter chaos which her AD2249-2253 counterpart KO had to fix in Xmas w/ the DP (my first ff) and now she's back in the same role in Angel Wings where she is partnered with Revy Roberts from 'Black Lagoon' and Roanapur in SE Asia on Terra.









OK- here's oro Revy looks like along with her Terran cohorts. However, Rock Obajime (computer whiz a la Tomah Jordan of the 3WA) is the only one who accompanied her to the Academy on Shimougou. Here she is with from left to right Benny, Rock, Revy is the nasty looking auburn-maned beauthy with folded arms and on the right that's their 'fearless leader' Dutch. Oro are they? They're mercs or more accurately killers for hire although they do protection work and bounty stuff from time to time.






The lynx-like neko (cat) in the pix below the group shot is Neko (the way she looks now I guess but you'd have to ask HTDD about that folks):-


As per usual at the very bottom left hand corner we have LA Kei with the Mark XIII ion cannon and LA Yuri behind her in the fur coat and she's got a Mark III miniblaster in her hot little fist! Kei considers anything smaller than a Mark XII ion cannon or a Mark XI disruptor pistol a peashooter or a toy! Her faves are the long barrelled Marks (XX, XXI, XXX, XXXI etc) which resemble rocket launchers like the 90 MM recoilless rifle and the old 3.5 rocket launcher aka a bazooka!






Gotta go but happy animeing and as usual keep posting folks!






SFN/SYS/JM/KBYA/KYSOTI/Toodles-K&K

Surprise- A Special Treat for You

Konnichi wa (Hello) fellow anime fanatics. I noticed my poll had not been begun as of yet so I started the ball rolling. Now it's your turn eh? Oro (What) is this thing below my salutation I can hear you asking. Wonder no moe for it is a special treat for you folks. If you have been following my blog here you will know that I am a writer of fan fiction (well I did write two although I am still working on the second one) that is getting some buzz in our circles.

My first 'Christmas with the Dirty Pair' was 184 chapters long and took seven long years to post. That one and the new one 'Angel Wings' (27 chapters posted and more to come) are posted and can be read at:

www.fanfiction.net/anime/dirtypair/ christmaswiththedirtypair
www.fanfiction.net/anime/dirtypair/angelwings

An easier place to find them is here:

www.animeonline.net/forums/fanfics/dirtypairfanfiction

However I digress so gomen (excuse me). This is Chapter 1 of 'Angel Wings' so you get a feel for my fave anime characters Kei and Yuri of the 3WA. Enjoy it and just below this sign off I'll put pix of Kei (the redheaded firebrand Hellcat) and Yuri (the violet-maned vixen). Gomen (I am sorry- words do double duty in Japanese sometimes) for running off at the mouth so without further ado here are the 'Lovely Angels'.





Welcome to 'Angel Wings'

DISCLAIMER: OK Revy, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air after our first ff so let's get to Chapter 1 of this one without further preamble:-

ANGEL WINGS

Chapter 1

'Creature From the Black Lagoon' or 'The Angels Meet Revy Roberts'

Facing the rows of folding chairs in the gigantic amphitheatre in front of them Rock was as scared as Hell! His compadre, however, was as cool as a cucumber while she stood beside Rock, a cheroot clamped tightly betwixt her teeth. She smoked steadily directly beneath the 'No Smoking Onegai' sign on the wall. Rock tapped Revy's shoulder (Her real name was Rebecca Roberts but Kami help anyone who called this gal anything but Revy!) and pointed at the sign. Revy shrugged her shoulders and blew a smoke ring into the kid's face.

Both were on loan (temporarily) from the 'Black Lagoon' company in Roanispur back on Terran Thailand. BL was an organisation of hired killers. These two had been 'volunteered' by their boss Dutch to teach the new 'UG' and 3WA recruits here at the 3WA Academy in Furool (Foo-Lon) City on Shimougou in the Aquarian Galaxy. Oro were they teaching them?

For Rock it was proper reporting techniques a la their paperwork. In other words- how to do reports on your PDO (Personal Data Organizer). A 'PDO' was sorta like an ancient Terran cell phone/computer, however, unlike a cellphone a PDO also contained a vidcell phone unit, a medical tricorder, a computer, a local communicator, a word processor unit, several weapons, a homing beacon, a flashlamp, a tiny laser beam, a replicator unit (to make anything you shimatta well fancied!) and numerous other devices!

For Revy (who had not read her 3WA orders) well she hoped someone was gonna tell her damned Fxxxing soon oro the jigoku she was doing here or was she just babysitting Rock's ass again? Revy was in fact an expert with all sorts of firearms and was there to teach marksmanship and martial arts to the cadets.

"Who the Fxxx is that stupid looking bitch up front I wonder?" whispered Rio Delcroix to her seatmate Marina Oki. Rio was a cadet/trainee just starting her advanced training today as was Marina, however, where Rio was an ensign Marina was already a suba or a subaltern in the 3WA.

"Shut the Hell up, Rio! If she hears us she'll sure as Fxxx come over here and she don't look like someone I'd wanna mess with or meet in a dark alley even in the daytime man!" replied Marina in a mono-whisper.

"She's Revy Roberts from Terra, love. She's here to teach marksmanship and martial arts to you. And her nickname's the 'Creature from the Black Lagoon', Rio honey. Her name's really Rebecca but if ya say that to her it's like calling the boss Katie!" answered Legato Bluesummers the big tall BetaZoid captain from the planet of 'Gunsmoke'. Believe it or not he was also a cadet/trainee albeit he already as a captain outranked most of the instructors there.

"Who's the cutey pie next to the Terran Terror?" asked Rio and Blue chuckled.

"Rock Obajime. He's Revy's partner and he's here to teach us all how to write 'proper' reports on our PDOs. I think Revy's his bodyguard while he's here or something. He's a merc (mercenary) with the same group Revy's with but the guy won't carry a weapon and will not kill! Glorious company he's landed in eh? Take it easy kiddies. I think I just saw an old tomo- named Tomah Jordan. Ja mata for now." said Bluesummers and he wandered over to talk to a tall skinny guy wearing owlish spectacles circa a few hundred years ago.

He stood next to a younger girl in a 3WA hotpants uniform with a sash reading trainee/acting ensign across her chest.

"Legato? How nice to see you." she said and he nodded at the blonde.

"Oh hi Edna. You're looking quite spiffy in that outfit." replied Bluesummers. The tall skinny dude blinked myopically and smiled.

"Konnichi wa, Blue. Haven't seen you for an inu's age man. I'm here to give Edna (his sister Edna Jordan) moral support on her first day of advanced training. Then tomorrow I have to start teaching computer logistics to the seniors in the building next door. How ya been?" said Tomah Jordan who was the resident 3WA/'UG' ("United Galactica Federation of Galaxies') computer logistics and programming expert.

"Just fine, Tomah. By the way have ya seen Lee Chan around today?" asked Blue.
"Nai. He doesn't start teaching (martial arts and yoga) until ashita no yobi (the day after tomorrow). Hope he doesn't try to pick up that dark-haired babe with the kid over there." said Tomah, pointing towards Revy Roberts and Rock Obajime.

"Amen to that pal. She's one tough bitch. See ya later, tomo watashi." replied Blue before heading for the snack tables.

"How come we gotta be here today, Mar?" demanded Kome Sawaguchi in a whisper. She (an ensign) and Lt. Marlene Angel were standing against the back wall of the amphitheatre with arms folded across their chests.

Mar shrugged her shoulders at the strawberry blonde teenager.

"Beats me, kiddo. Guess two of those recruits are gonna be ours someday and they wanted us to get a look at them. Wow! That Revy Roberts looks madder than the boss usually does, don't she?" whispered the blonde navigator/sometimes pilot.

A slight short gentleman with kindly grey aizu smiled at them all and stepped onto the dais in front of the class. "May I have your attention please--" he began but the general hubbub soon drowned him out until--

"Shut the Hell up! Mr. Galadriel has something to say to you blasted yay-hoos so pay attention goddammit!" roared Donald Poporo, Unit 9's sector chief. You could have heard a pin drop on the surface of 'Dantoonine' which was several hundred lightyears distant! The shorter gent tried again.

"I am Vittorio Francisco Galadriel, Commander-in-Chief of 'UG' and the 3WA, ladies and gentlemen. I welcome you to this briefing session for you young cadets and trainees. I already know a great many of you having met you after our last er incident that our 3WA forces were involved with. For the rest of you I usually allow Andy Gooley my Aquarian Galactic Chief to run things. I'd just like to say that we have gone out of our way this time around to get you the very finest of instructors we could possibly locate to teach you your advanced subjects. Yes even paperwork is on our curriculum this semester. Without further ado let me hand the floor over to Mr. Poporo who will give you all the latest news about your training. Have a nice day and hoob-a-dooble-doo." said Galadriel and he immediately left the podium.

"OK hazu- listen up! You've all advanced to he next level of your training with us. That's 'cause you've mastered the 'basics' that a good tro-con needs to know. If you think that crap was difficult this next stage will make the last six months or so look like kindergarten! We're running a bit late today so I'll quickly introduce your instructors before I release you for dinner.

First off- to teach you karate, baritsu and hand-to-hand combat as well as yoga we have Senior TC 1st Lt. Lee Chan (A tall fellow who looked a lot like the ancient Terran martial arts film star Jackie Chan gave them a galactic salute and bowed. In point of fact Lee was indeed a direct descendant of the famed hero of the silver screen from Terran China).

Second we have to teach endurance and survival skills and tactics to you Chief Stefan Gazelle who doubles as our sports coach. (A big hulk of a guy with long flowing black hair stepped forward and gazed at the class steadfastly before shaking his head sadly and saying 'Pathetic, just pathetic, man!' in a loud rumble).

Our remaining duo of instructors are probably unknown to all of you. They hail from the Terran city of Roanispur in Thailand and come to us highly recommended.

Your third instructor is Mr. Rock Obajime (The kid beside Revy Roberts nodded a tad nervously and managed a wan smile) and he'll be teaching you how to write up proper reports from your missions and daily work so I guess you could call Rock our resident 'red tape' expert.

Last but certainly not least we have Miss Rebecca er I mean Revy Roberts (The dark-haired beauty beside Rock frowned and made an obscene gesture to Don Poporo.

Of the four instructors present Revy was the only one not in 3WA/'UG' attire. Instead the girl wore a black sleeveless tank top, torn and dirty sneakers and cutoff denim jeans. Criss-crossing her ample chest was a double-holstered under the arms shoulder harness and nestling in each holster was a heavy calibre Beretta automatic pistol nicknamed a 'Cutlass'.

She nodded curtly to the class.

"Pathetic is right man! What a bunch of pussy shitheaded losers, Rock!' she chuckled and the kid looked like he wanted to be on 'Dantoonine' at that moment!) who will be instructing you in the finer points of marksmanship and er street combat fighting." said 'Uncle Vito' and he sat down.

Mr Popo replaced him at the podium and beamed at the class.

"I know we all wanna get to chow so I'll dismiss you now that is if there are no questions?" said Don with a nervous glance around the hall.

"That baka moron bitch couldn't hit the broad ass side of a Rygullian barn!" shouted Rio Delcroix before Marina Oki could stop her.

"Hit the deck!" cried Rock and dove for cover just as Revy leaped up and performed a sideways somersault in midair, yanking out her twin cannons and firing all in the same blur of uninterrupted motion.

Four neat little bulletholes had suddenly appeared in the 3WA crest above Mar and Kome's heads! A half credit coin (about the size of a Terran nickel) could have easily covered all four holes! Revy coolly reholstered her cannons and smiled at Rio.

"How's that, you Fxxxing dumbass?" she demanded, spitting out her cheroot stub. Don glanced up and blanched white- his worst nightmare had just arrived!

"Oro's the Hell's with all this Fxxxing noise, Don!?" growled a tall red-headed and green-aizued Amazon dressed in a 3WA red/black skintight bodysuit and red chukka ankle boots. Depending from her right hip was a Mark XIII ion cannon which weapon made Revy's 'Cutlass' noisemakers look like pea-shooters in comparison!

"Ladies and gents- permit me to introduce our newest Academy Chief er for you Terran folks that's the same as a college dean- Marshall Keirran er I meant Kei O'Halloran. Hiya Boss. Miss Roberts here has just er been demonstrating her shooting skills to the class." said Don.

Kei yawned, then spun like lightning back to face Revy, yanking out her cannon at the same time. Over her shoulder she fired two ion blasts in quick succession and where Revy's four bullet holes had been a moment ago now was only a smoking crater in the back wall!

"Kei! How the oni (devil) can I teach first aid with all of this racket going on, dammit all!" screeched a violet-maned vixen with flashing aizu the colour of deep azure who had just bounced into the huge hall.

Her hot pants outfit was a pastel hue of aoishi (blue) and white and complemented her aizu perfectly. White over the calf length Cavalier boots completed her ensemble and strapped to her right side was a teeny tiny (but deadly!) Mark III miniblaster.

"And this is our esteemed Academy's executive chief er vice-principal- Wing Commander Yuri Donovan." added Poporo. Then Yuri saw oro was left of the wall!

"Christ Almighty, Kei! Not another blasted shield? That's the third one you've blasted this month! The 'G Twins' (Andre Gooley and Charlie Garner) are gonna be well and truly pissed, man! Oh er hello class. Welcome to the 3WA Academy or jigoku (Hell) which is oro you'll be calling it pretty darn soon if you ain't already! Good luck." finished the exec.

A desk job/teaching gig was fine with Yuri after that last mission she'd been on but for Kei this was sheer and utter boredom! Revy laughed out loud. Big mistake!

"You freaks got a bimbo broad and a wimpy schoolkid running this Fxxxing dump? I don't Fxxxing believe it! Whassa matter- wasn't Dean Wormer ((The Faber College dean played by John Vernon in that old Terran film 'Animal House') available? No wonder this place is a frigging joke!" chortled the Terran markswoman.

"Hey there Lady! You just watch your mouth there! That ain't now way to be talking about our 'Dirty Pair'!" cried an incensed Tomah Jordan who was holding the door open for Yuri. Four pair of angry aizu (including Yuri's) turned in his direction.

"That's 'Lovely Angels', dammit!" chorused the 'Unholy Four' who are of course Kei, Yuri, Kome and Marlene. Kei strolled to the front podium and glared icily at Revy Roberts.

"Class- you are hereby dismissed. See ya all back here at 0900 ashita (tomorrow) morning." she barked.

"Let's go, Boss. You've got a lotta recquisition vidchips left to sign." said Yuri, adroitly steering the redhead to the portals. Legato grinned at Revy.

"Girl, you just dunno how Kami shimatta extremely lucky you are. The Boss usually puts folks into the hospital for that kinda mouthing off. Your pardon, ma'am. Legato Bluesummers at your service. I'm captain of the 'Raphael'. That's one of the 'Lovely Angel 2' starship's four shuttles. (The others being of course 'Michaelangelo', 'Leonardo' and 'Donnatella') But don't get me wrong now. I'm also a trainee here. Pleased to meet ya, ma'am." said Blue. Revy returned his gaze coolly.

"That Irish idjit's the lucky one, pal of mine. I usually 'kill' folks I don't like, man! And by the way friend- you call me anything but Revy again and I'll rip your Fxxxing head off and shit down your Fxxxing throat, Captain! Nice to meet you too, sir. C'mon Rock. I need a Fxxxing drink, kid." said Revy, dragging her companion towards the bar area.

Kome's mouth was open wide in shock! Mar smiled ruefully. "Here we go again, kiddo." she observed dryly.

END of Ch 1 . Ch 2 coming soon. R/R/S away and Kami bless you all. SYS and SFN. Ja mata and have a super weekend. Toodles-K&K

Several chapters in 'Christmas' have both dramatis personae character lists as well as Japanese/English glossaries and word lists. Check out Chapters 1 through 7 and I think 15 or 20 have some words as well.

Of course if you want you can always just email me at keimanzero@hotmail.com or blog me here with your questions. Feel free to comment on anything in my blogs here or elsewhere around the web. The Keiman's reach is long folks. Sayonara ( it really translates as 'until we meet again' although many people mistake it to mean goodbye. Goodbye is a shortened form of 'God be with ye' and has a similar meaning) for now and see ya soon. Kami (God) bless all of you and toodles-K&K