Forgive me but I wanted to introduce you fine tomos to the 'Gunsmith Cats' who both figure prominently in my fanfictions. Unfortunately I have no pix showing Mae by herself. Here are two of her. The first is with her partner Rally Vincent and in this one Mae's the blonde on th left while Rally's the brunette on the right. Both of these babes are deadly! Rally's a 17 year old and Mae's only 14 or 15 but a tougher pair you'll never find trust me! Except for the LAs K&Y of course! Rally's a crack shot and Mae's an explosives expert! I do have several more pix of this deadly duo and if you want to see them visit my albums at EONS (anime-a-holics) and YG (Animeaholics1) however many of them show R&M a little bit dishabeille if you get my drift? Watch the first eppy of GS if you can and you'll understand why this is definitely AS material!
OK at the vry top of the page I have a pix of Rally's '60s classic Shelby Cobra Mustang complete with superchargers! Hers is aoishi (blue) and white and it's quite racy too! By the way if you've ever seen this fine albeit short (3 eppys) anime series you already know the gunfire and the Cobra's engine roars sound almost lifelike- right?
Want to know why? Easy. They're the real thing. The genuine article. The producers recorded the gunshot sounds at a Chicago gun club and the Cobra sounds are from a real classic Shelby Cobra that belonged to one of the producers! To the Keiman's knowledge GS is the only anime that ever used 'live' sounds in its production.
Ghost in the Shell came close with its Innocence 2 anime film which featured the real designs of the new 2007 Nissan cars and SUVs being used by the G/S characters and that was even before the Nissan cars were being shown at the auto shows! That was definitely a first! Hey! I think I have Innocence 2 in my DVD collection. I think I'll check it out tomorrow. 
Sorry but this is the only other pix I can find offhand showing MMH 'Kitten' the 'Blond Bomber' who is Rally's partner. She's the blonde on the right. That's Becky their tomo/go-between/lawyer who wants to be a detective on the left. 
DISCLAIMER: OK Ryuuk, it's all yours. First I wanna thank Mr T for the use of his Angels and stuff. Then I wanna thank everyone else who has been allowing us to use their creations here like Thom Beers for the use of his ice road truckers Hugh, Drew, Rick, Eric, Alex and Bear. I took the liberty of naming the 3WA academy in Furool City on Shimougou after Mr Haruka Takachiho in honour of his creations- the Angels. How was that, Yuri? Great, kiddo. Oh hai it sure was, Kei! Now since we left ya up in the air last time let's get to Ch 31 without any further meandering, shall we? Admiral O'Helloran? Boy! Is our Nami in for a rude awakening eh? Read on folks:-
CHAPTER 31
'Angelic Travel Plans?' or 'New Navvie?'
"I'm a Marshall now, kid not an Admiral and it's O'Halloran not O'Helloran. Just call me Kei or Boss like everybody else does. C'mon. Sit down and have some chow, Richards. C'mon, girl! I don't bite!" rumbled the commander.
"Nai, but she kicks like a mule!" whispered a giggling Yuri.
"You're the Kommandant? I thought sure that Blue er I mean Legato er I mean Mr Bluesummers was the Captain aboard this thing, ma'am!" yelped Nami who belatedly snapped to attention and saluted Kei.
Nami's hair was red but nowhere near as red as Kei's although at almost two and a half meters she towered over the tall redhead.
"Sit down, Nami! You from 'McHale's Navy' or something, kiddo? That is some getup ya got on there, that it is!" chortled the Boss.
Nami bristled with anger and then she made the mistake of her young life! "Don't you dare laugh at me, dammit! Getup? Look at your own, Honey!" she yelled and levelled a Beretta at the shorter redhead who was in her usual 'getup' of black tank top, grey 3WA gym shorts and sneakers. Suddenly-
Zang! A lightning bolt stung Nami's fingers causing her to drop her automatic pistol. Kei vaulted over the table and landed a hard right cross to Nami's upthrust chin which sent he sprawling into Blackfire's arms.
Leona Ozaki who had fired her own Mark XII ion cannon at Nami drew back to add a haymaker to Kei's right cross when--
"OK, Contessa. I think that our Miss Richards got the hint, don't you?" drawled Han Solo who had grabbed Leona's wrist in a grip of pure Kelvinite.
"Naruto! Water for Miss Richards onegai (please)!" yelled Kei.
Yuri managed to bring the girl around by applying 'amyl nitrite' (smelling salts) to her nostrils. Yuri was glaring daggers at Kei. The redhead shook her head vigorously.
"Don't look at me, Vacuumhead! All I did was belt her one! Leona shot her! That smartass kid drew down on me, dammit! Ask anybody here if ya don't believe me, Airhead!" howled Kei angrily.
Naruto brought the water and after a few swallows Nami managed to sit up. Yuri loosened the Terran pirate girl's collar or collars it seemed.
"A scarf and a tie and a heavy turtleneck too? In this weather? (It was summer on 'Workoh') You surely are 'dressed to the nines', girl! ("Did ya really take your pants off in front of Legato last night?" whispered Mar who was busily spraying Nami's fingers with 'Dakora' (a painkiller) to try and ease the painful stinging caused by Leona's ionic plasma bolt. "Yeah but I did have my swimsuit on under them, ma'am!" Nami whispered back and winced a bit when Yuri felt her head) No concussion, thank Kami and according to my tricorder your vitals appear to be normal. (Yuri lowered her voice an octave or two) Seriously though kid, you are damned lucky that you are still in one piece (subtle hint here) after trying a stunt like that! I'd alter that wardrobe if I were you, Nami. On our ships it's mostly casual dress. (Yuri turned to leave then turned back) Be sure to stop by sick bay to see me if you start getting any headaches. (Yuri stuck out her hand) Gomen er sorry, Nami. I am Yuri Donovan, the Boss's exec. I am a full fledged Wing Commander but everybody just calls me Yuri. We're all on a first name basis around here except for the 'Starfleet' gang who are sticklers for protocol. Go ahead and have some breakfast. Then we'll get you all kitted out and settled in. You won't be seeing Terra I mean the Earth anytime soon, I'm very much afraid." apologized Yuri.
"But er one of your officers, a Mr 'CC' said we were leaving for home at noon today. He really is quite obnoxious as well as promiscuous! He really should be disciplined, ma'am." suggested Nami.
Yuri chukled. "Sorry Nami but 'home' means 'our' home in 'Furool (Foo-Lon) City' back on 'Shimougou' and that's a world somwhere near Mars. Well- around a few hundred thousand kilos from Mars I should say. 'CC' is our 'Central Computer' program and although he is treated like a member of our crew he is definitely 'not' an officer. Now er don't tell me, let me guess. 'CC' saw you in your skivvies and you got mad at him. Right?" asked Yuri and the red-faced girl nodded.
"I see. By the way Nami those 'thundersticks' of yours won't work aboard these ships of ours you know. I've got an 'energy damper barrier' in place and that means that your blade (Yuri pointed out Nami's stiletto dagger strapped to the girl's right thigh) will not cut crap either. You'd better start trying to curb that temper of yours especially around Kei or you are gonna get yourself seriously hurt. You are part of 'our' crew now, the 3WA so let's get you all kitted out after Kei has her meeting. Are you er still wearing your 'mizugi' I mean swimsuit underneath those glad rags? (Nami nodded) That's great because we usually do our replicator measuring in our underwear but your swimsuit will be OK. Did I mention that we're usually pretty darned casual aboard our ships? (Nami nodded again but Yuri frowned) You er do know that we I mean this ship, the 'Lovely Angel 2' is not going straight home to 'Shimougou', didn't you? (Nami thought "Oh Christ! How long am I gonna get stuck here? Oh well at least these guys seem like thedecent sort. No telling oro (what) the folks are like at this 'Fooling Around City' place! Best to just go with the flow and tag along with 'Red Rag Mop Doll' and this simpleton dimwit for now." she mused. Yuri was still chattering away) Our other two ships, the 'Lovely Angels 1 and 3' are though so you could fly back aboard one of them if you like or you can stay here with us and take a side trip jaunt to 'Seto Kaiba' (a somewhat distant penal colony planet) before we get you back home, kid. (Nami looked as confused as the nine Hells of Dante's Inferno! Yuri smiled and shook her kawaii violet mane) Sorry kiddo, I'll just let the Boss explain things at her meeting. Ooh! You gotta try these yummy Danish pastries! I can't believe that they were actually baked and not repped up like they usually are! (Yuri hastily tried to tell Nami all about their 'replicators' but it was going way over the poor kid's head) After breakfast I'll take you next door to our rec room and you can relax for a bit and have a few drinks at the bar or you can use our 'holodecks' upstairs on Eight. One of 'em's got a pool inside it and a seaside too! You must really like to swim if you wear your 'mizugi' er swimsuit underneath your er uniform. Right? (Nami grinned, nodded and blushed) You must have a ton of questions to ask me kid so just fire away." said Yuri.
"It's a trifle warm in here, Yuri. Mind if I get comfy first?" she asked.
"Be my guest." replied the exec.
Nami draped her blazer and vest across the back of her chair and kicked off her boots.
"If we er weren't in mixed company I'd show you my tattoos, Yuri." chuckled the rangy teenager. "We'll have to talk later I guess since it's almost eleven. I will ask you one question for now. Is that banshee fruitcake ragdoll really your commanding officer? My Kami! She's my age!" said Nami and Yuri smiled sweetly.
"Yeah kiddo. Marshall Keirran O'Halloran really is our CO and Wing Commander Donovan really is her exec. That would be me by the way and we are both twenty years old. I'd say you're seventeen or eighteen and pretty darned independent to boot. ("Seventeen and a half actually." corrected Nami) You're just the kind of young buck tro-con material we're looking for at 'United Galactica' and the 3WA. If there's nothing waiting for ya back home why not join up with us? It's really fun work and let me tell you something Honey. Out here we 'are' the law and we don't take crap from anybody or anything! (Yuri glanced at her wristchromo and frowned) Darn! It's 1055 hours (10.55 AM) already so I guess I'll have to put off showing you around the 'Angel' until later. Wait! I've got it. I'll give you and our other 'newbies' the Cook's Tour after lunch. (She cast a critical aizu over Nami's pink cravat, yellow shirt, crimson tie and white socks) However, we'll get your uniform repped up before lunch or you'll roast to death. When Kei's all done shooting off her big mouth I'll meet you next door (Yuri pointed) in the rec room. Just tell one of our lifts to take you there. I hate to leave you on your own like this but duty calls and I'm needed. Uh uh. Kei's giving me that 'come hither' look. (Nami rose to go) You're done eating already? (Nami nodded and pulled on her boots, re-cinched her cravat, slipped back into her vest and accepted a wolf's assistance to get her blazer back on. The wolf was of course- Kouga the wolf youkai demon) Then let's go next door and find you a good seat for the fiasco. That's oro (what) Kei's meetings usually end up becoming- major foul-ups. C'mon Nami. You too Wolfie boy." said Yuri.
She led them through the portals to the rec room where Kouga immediately made a beeline for the bar. "I'll have--" he began.
"Iced tea. Kagome's orders, Wolf Boy. Positively no hard stuff for you demons. Iced tea coming right up." said Neko Olson who was BOD (Barkeep of the Day) this morning. Nami made a wry face.
"Yuck! I hate iced tea! You got any milkshakes?" she asked and took a stool next to Miroku the Mischievous Monk.
"Sure thing, love. Oro (What) flavour do you want? We got a few hundred or so. You name it and I'll rep it." replied Neko.
"Double chocolate, please." said Nami and pulled out her wallet. "Let's see here. I've got MasterCard, VISA, Diners' Club, Carte Blanche, American Express, Capitol One or would you prefer cash?" she asked and Neko the shapeshifting nekomata cat/human/trill giggled.
"This is an 'open' bar, ma'am. Everything on the ship is free." explained the monk who had dropped to one knee in front of the teen-aged newcomer.
"Oh nai (no)! Not him!" she thought. Too late she'd noticed whom it was that Nami had sat next to at the bar.
"Kawaii enjeru (Lovely angel), would you do me the honour of bearing my children?" asked Miroku in a serious sounding tone of voice. Of course Nami Richards reacted.
"You stinking slimy dirty son of a bitch! (Whammo!) Take that, you pervert! You're a preist for Christ's sake!" Nami had decked him a good one in the jaw with a stiff right cross which knocked the amorous monk into the next patron at the bar- Sango!
"Sorry about that, kid. He's harmless. Our dear Miroku spins that line to every single female he meets for the first time. Konnichi wa (Hi or Hello), I'm Sango and you must be Miss Richards. Nice to meet you. Blue said he er met you last evening. A little bewildered by all this folderol stuff, are you? (Nami nodded ruefully) You won't need that wallet here. Nobody's money is any good on the 'Angel 2' or any other 3WA or 'UG' vessel either for that matter. giggled Sango.
Nami belatedly realized that she was still holding out her credit cards to Neko who has just plunked down a gigantic milkshake in front of her. Sango sipped her mocha hazelnut latte and smiled at the taller girl) The 3WA and company pick up all of the tabs for anything we want or need and believe me, Miss Richards, I really do mean anything! (Nami slipped her cards back into her wallet and returned her wallet to her blazer's inside breast pocket) Get up, Lover boy! (Sango nudged Miroku with her foot) By the way I'm a demon slayer, this (she tapped her boot on Miroku's head) is a Buddhist monk/preist and Wolfie boy Kouga over there is a full youkai, a full fledged demon. Our barkeep there is Neko Olson and she's a shapeshifting nekomata cat/human/trill but she's not demonic. Honey, things ain't always oro (what) they may seem to be around here, Miss Richards." explained Sango.
Nami drained her shake and got to her feet. "Thanks Sango and it's just plain old Nami. OK? Miss Richards is way too formal for a pirate like me, don't you think? Excuse me but I believe I'll go out on the deck for awhile. I need some fresh air." said Nami.
"Ya can't go out on deck, ya stupid baka broad. Didn't nobody tell ya this is a space ship? There ain't no air outside, ya birdbrained baka." said a tall teen-aged boy who looked to be about fifteen years old. He was wearing an old red bathrobe and he had the cutest little doggie ears. The lad was shovelling in ramen as fast as he could eat it. A few dozen empty bowls littered the bar top in front of him.
"Hey! That's not nice, InuYasha! You really must excuse him, ma'am. We're still training him you see but he is right. This is a big airplane thing way up in the stars so ya can't go outside but there's windows in the 'star room' (observation deck on Level Seven) upstairs and you can see outside real good, ma'am. Ow! Kagome! InuYasha hit me again! Ka-go-me!" yelled a small fox-like creature.
Nami's arm blocked InuYasha's fist before he could punch the little guy again. "Why don't ya pick on somebody your own size, Doggie? Leave the little thing there alone or else! And if you call me a stupid broad again I'll wipe up the floor with you!" shouted Nami.
"You leave InuYasha alone, ya big bully! And I ain't no 'thing' neither! I'm a 'kitsune', a fox youkai demon! Better be careful or I'll turn ya into a toad, Lady!" howled the kid before the 'Mad Hatter' boxed his ears.
"Stop this senseless bickering, Shippou! The 'Red Marshall' is about to speak. Good morning, Miss Nami. I am the Doctor." said Doctor Six tipping his hat to the newbie.
"A doctor? Really? You got anything for a headache, Doc?" asked Nami and the bar exploded with laughter.
"He's not a real doctor, Nami. He's just a time lord. C'mon with me. The Boss Lady wants to introduce ya to everybody." said a teen-aged schoolgirl with long black tresses wearing 3WA sweats and sneakers. Nami meekly allowed Kagome to lead her to the podium beside the blue telephone booth! Kei stretched her arm up and her fingertips just managed to touch Nami's shoulder.
"Listen up, folks! This here's our newest crewman- Nami Richards. She hails from Terra and she's a real pirate. (Nami smiled, bobbed her orange head and waved to everyone like a prom queen at a high school football rally) We'll find something to keep her busy, won't we gang? (A general snickering greeted that one since newbies got either cleaning jobs or kitchen duty) OK kiddo. Welcome aboard. Ya can go back and sit down, Ensign. (Then Kei got serious) To business, ladies and gents. As most of ya already know the 'Angel 2' ain't gonna be going straight home. We're making a slight detour to 'Seto Kaiba' to drop off John Berringer and his band of nutcases. His starship the 'Starcrusher' has been impounded and docked below in our bays. After we finish our business at 'Seto K' we'll turn and burn back to 'Paladin' where we have a 3WA base. That's one of 'Shimougou's numerous moons. We'll dump off the 'Starcrusher' there along with a few of our 3WA tro-con cadet trainees. Then we'll head for home. (There was a wave of groaning and cursing) Don't worry. The 'Angels 1 and 3' are going straight back home from here so anyone who wants to get to 'Furool (Foo-Lon) City' or 'Elenore City' can leave with one of them. The 'Angel 1' will be under Legato Bluesummers's command and I'm leaving the 'Angel 3' in the capable hands of Jonathan Harlock. I'm handing over command of the 'Angel 2' to the Vacuumhead I mean to Wing Commander Yuri Maureen Donovan. Newly promoted Colonel Marlene Angel will be serving as Blue's exec, co-pilot and navigator. Jon's exec and co-pilot will be Naraku with Nyssa as his navvie. Our own pilot will be Gene Starwind with Han Solo co-piloting us. Zoe Morton will be our navigator. Suba (Subaltern) Kome Sawguchi, Ensign Nami Richards and Ensign Peri Winkle Brown will be in charge of determining and keeping track of who is on oro (what) ship so let them know your decisions as soon as possible. Since Kome is going with Blue she'll handle the roster for the 'Angel 1' while Peri who is going on the 'Angel 3' will keep that ship's roster. Our newest newbie Nami Richards will keep tabs on who's coming with us on this ship the 'Angel 2' so onegai (please) cooperate with them. And er kids? I'll need those rosters by (The Boss glanced at her wristchromo) tonight at (The travel agency trio said a collective "Shit! No way in Hell, man!") OK make it ashita er tomorrow morning at 1000 hours and that means ten o'clock AM, guys. No later than that because I wanna lift off before noon. Got that? (The trio gave the ancient Ballantine three ring sign which meant OK) Well, that's about it for me. Anybody got any questions?" finished the Boss and she fired up a cheroot.
"Yeah, I got one! Where the Hell are we, Reds? Really?" demanded Nami.
"Somebody take Nami up to the 'star room' and show her where we 'really' are. Please? No more questions? OK. Arigatou (Thank you) to all of ya for coming. Dismissed. Yuri, you're with me." replied Kei and she jogged to the gantryway stairs. Yuri hung back, cleared her throat and pointed to the lift banks.
"Shut the Hell up, dammit! Cy's visiting somebody on the 'Angel 1' until this evening! Hey! Dynamo! I need another stabilizing unit for the M24-3647.8 core housing! Leona! We got company! Find out who the Fxxx's out in our main engine room! Get rid of 'em if ya can! They're yelling their fool heads off out there! Leona! Get a move on your ass! Dynamo! I really need that damned fool thing sometime before ashita (tomorrow) dammit!" screeched a very angry space techie. She didn't know that Leona Ozaki had already left with her armoured LandMate 2XL21Y about three hours ago.
"Ya want anything done around here ya gotta do it your own damned self! Who the Fxxx's doing all that shimatta (damned) yelling out here?" demanded a welding helmeted space technician wielding a flaming arc torch in either gloved fist.
"Sorry to bother ya. I just wanted a quick sneak peek at our new core." explained Kei.
"Oh ya did, did ya! Well I ain't got time to give every baka idiot moron a tour of my warp--" began Blackfire until she had removed her helmet.
"Like I was saying I do apologize for disturbing ya but this my ship not yours, kid." replied Kei.
Blackfire dropped helmet and torches, snapped to attention and saluted her superiors. "Gomen er excuse me and I do humbly beg your pardon, ma'am. Onegai (Please) follow me. We're still putting the finishing touches on it." said Blackfire of Tamaran. Yuri quietly retrieved the dropped torches and extinguished them.
"Will we be ready to go by tomorrow, Black?" she asked.
"Sure thing, Commander. Well be finished by dinnertime today. (she raised her voice an octave or three) That is if I get that bloody stabilizing unit anytime soon!" yelled the svelte space techie and a giant raptor dinosaur Triceraton lumbered into the room.
"You got the damned blamed thing, didn't you? Now shut up and install it! Oh? Hiya Reds! Vaccy! Catch ya later!" said 'Dynamo' and he turned to go.
"I told ya never to call me that, Lieutenant and the Boss is not Reds!" cried Yuri angrily. The behemoth Leviathan merely waved a talon the size of a football at them.
"And stop giving your superiors the finger, mister!" yelled Blackfire.
"Hey! Is that it, Black?" called Kei and Blackfire nodded.
"Yup. We can take her from rei (zero) to goju (fifty) in san (three) solar seconds flat, Boss Lady. It used to take roku (six) seconds to do that! Twice as long! This baby'll come in real damned handy if we gotta use that 'thundermaker' on Six again!" crowed Blackfire.
"We have to be going. Well done. Keep up the good work, Ensign. C'mon Kei." said Yuri and she steered the redhead towards the door.
"Willco, Boss. See ya, Commander. Let's do lunch today. 1300 hours (1 PM) OK? (Yuri waved back and nodded) Righty-o. See ya then. Sayonara." called the dark-haired Tamaranian princess.
"Where to now, Boss? We're going to see Nami. Right?" asked the exec.
"Nope. Back to our quarters. I gotta put a relay through to 'Q' and 'Wolfie'. (Doctor Cueball, chief of R&D at 3WA HQ and Dr Wolf Von Bork his research assistant) Maybe they've finally figured out how to end this blasted mess." replied Kei and Yuri suggested they use 'Shenron', Terra's 'Eternal Dragon' to just wish all their problems away. "Nai (No) we can't. For one thing we've already used this year's wish and for another Bulma told us that 'Shenron' can't grant the same wish twice so that idea's out, kid. I sure as Fxxx hope that I don't gotta fire that 'God Gun' again! Here we are. You do the honours this time if you please, Commander. Arigatou (Thanks)." said Kei so Yuri tapped in the new vidkey code to open their portal.
Kei picked up the relay mike while Yuri flopped on the sofa. A short while later Kei was fuming.
"How are our prisoners doing?" yawned Yuri.
Kei opened up a wall panel and glanced at a small vidscreen covered with brightly coloured flashing dots. "All prisoners present and correct, mum." teased the Boss.
"Oh shut up will ya. I'm beat. Mind if I crash on your sofa for an hour or two? I need a nice nap." yawned the vixen and she stretched out on Kei's couch. She was soon fast asleep. Kei covered her with an Afghan and then took her own express lift up to Deck Seven- the 'Star Room' level.
"Quite a sight, ain't it? That planet below us is 'Workoh'. I spent the first decade of my life down there. Christ! I was there for the first half of my existence! Yo! Nami! Ya see now why ya couldn't go 'out on deck' for a fresh air stroll?" growled a gravelly voice from behind them.
"Aber (But) surely das ist a breatheable atmosphere down there, Fraulein (Froy-line) Reds, ist it nacht (not)?" asked the 'Green Baron' pointing below the ship.
"Of course it is Fritzy but we ain't 'down there'. We are 'up here' above it and that's a vacuum outside. No air. Feel free to stare at the cosmos as long as ya like, kids. However, I just want to borrow Nami for awhile. C'mon Ensign. We need to talk. See all you guys at lunch. Ja Mata. (See you later.)" said Kei. She led Nami back to her express lift and they rode up the final two levels of the ship to Deck Nine, the 'Command Deck' at the very top of the 'Angel 2'. Kei escorted Nami onto the bridge where a two and a half meter tall white neko (cat) was piloting the ship! Nami's aizu (eyes) popped and she snapped her fingers.
"Now I get it! This is 'Wonderland' and I'm Alice! Instead of a big white rabbit I run into a big white cat, a damned big one!" cried the girl pirate. Kei blinked and turned back to Nami.
"Huh? Aw, that's just Mugghi. She's a genetically altered and enhanced Nekomata Android. Like a 'biodroid' sorta. She won't hurt ya, kiddo. (Kei pointed out a small box-like robot not unlike 'R2D2' in 'Star Wars') That is 'Nammo' our robotic jack of all trades. Hey Mugghi? Anything happening yet? (Mugghi shook her head) Nai (No)? Nammo? (The robotoid beeped and hooted) Nai (No)? OK. See you two later. (She turned back to Nami) This is our bridge, Ensign. As ya can see we control and pilot the ship from here. That's the weapons centre and this is the communications centre. In here (Kei threw open the door to an adjoining room) we have our 'Navigation Room' or 'Nav Room' for short. We coordinate our directions and courses from this end of the console and we scan for trouble from the other end. Two decks beneath us on Seven where you just came from the other end of the corridor houses our 'transporter pads' or 'beaming blocks' as we call them. That's how we usually enter and leave the ship. (Kei picked up a small gizmo like an ancient Terran hand held video game) Here. Take this and these. (She handed Nami a pair of triangular earrings and a wristchromo) You'll need them." said the Boss.
"Thanks but I already have a cell phone and a wristwatch and I hate those earrings! They're gross! Yuck!" said Nami.
"These earrings are 'comlinks' communicators just like the ones you have on now. The difference is that these have a longer range- five hundred thousand kilos. This wristchromo shows universal time and monitors your vital signs. That allows us to keep track of ya at all times, kid and this here ain't no 'cell phone' as ya called it. It's one of our PDOs, a 'Personal Data Organizer'. Think of it as your pocketbook, purse, computer, calendar, tricorder, weapon, you name it thing. Your er 'cell phone' won't work here but this will. (She handed Nami a smaller 'cell phone' with a smallish screen inset) It's a vidcell comm unit, however, its range is really very limited- less than a lightyear. (Nami blinked) Touch its screen with your fingertip. (Nami did so and ejaculated "Holy Shit!" when the figure of Han Solo leaped off the screen at her!) That's a 'holographic image projection' of the last person you called. Guess that's Zoe's old one. She had a real thing for Han before he got hitched to Leia that is. Oh yeah. Take these as well. Keep one of 'em with you or on your person at all times- even when you go to the can to take a crap at night. (Kei handed her a Mark XII ion cannon, a power pack for it and a laser sword hilt with another extra power pack) This little beauty is a Mark XII, a hand held plasma generated ion cannon. It uses a 4XT power pack which loads like the clip on an ancient Terran automatic pistol, yours for example. It fires plasma generated ion energy bolts and each pack contains around four and a half thousand bolts. This tiny gem is a laser sword hilt. Also powered by a 4XT power pack it is ignited by pressing this stud like so. (Kei pressed it causing a green and white beam of glowing energy to shoot out the end of the device) Oro (What) else? Oh yeah. This (Kei pointed out a gadget that looked like a small microwave oven sitting on a table) is a 'replicator. Yuri will make sure that you get one and she'll show ya how to work it. Basically it gets ya whatever ya tell it to get ya just like a magic genie. After lunch Yuri's giving you the grand tour of my 'Angel 2' and then she'll get ya all kitted out in the very latest of our 3WA fashions, Ensign. You must be roasting in that outfit ya got on, girl! When you first came aboard were ya really wearing a scarf, a cravat and a tie? (Nami nodded) 'Dressed to the nines'. I believe that's how Yuri described you. Hmnn. Now oro (what) do I do with you? Where do we billet ya? I know! I'll put ya in with Faye and Kagome. They're old hands so they'll be able to show ya the ropes and help ya with your new assignment. By the way I 'do' want that passenger roster before noon tomorrow. Faye's a 'cowgirl' er that's a space travelling bounty hunter. The 'Blonde Bomber' babe (Minnie Mae 'Kitten' Hopkins) and 'Cat' (Rally) Vincent are 'cowgirls' as well. Kagome is a fifteen year old schoolgirl who travels back and forth between 16th and 21st Century Japan through an old well. That's back on Terra of course. And--oh here comes the Vac er Yuri now. I'll assign you your new duties after liftoff tomorrow. She's all yours, Yuri. I'm gonna try and relay those two medico idiots again! See ya at 1300 (1 PM). Don't forget that we're lunching with Blackfire so that means Starfire and Arkie too. Ta ta, Nami." said Kei.
"She sure can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, Nami. Shall we go to your new room? Bring all that junk that Kei just gave ya. We might as well get your new wardrobe squared away first. Then you can join us for a nice long leisurely lunch." said a beaming Yuri.
"Commander? Why is that part of the console all locked up?" asked Nami innocently.
Yuri hesitated. "Well ya see-" she hesitated again. Kei did order me to brief Nami thoroughly so--" she mused.
"That's the controls for the supersonic ion plasmatic release cannon. We call it the 'God Gun'. It takes four of us with four different code sequences to unlock it. It is fired by both a hand control lever and a foot control pedal. There and there. The cannon itself is down--" began Yuri.
"On Deck Six. I know. Mae told me all about that old thing." said Nami. Yuri looked annoyed.
"Did she also tell ya that it's a good half mile long, has its very own ion field generator and its barrel runs the entire length of this ship? It is not 'on' Deck Six. It 'is' Deck Six. It is accessible solely by a spiral stairwell from Deck Five. The lifts have no access to it at all nor can it be reached from Deck Seven. We fire that thing 'only' in extreme circumstances and to date it's only been used half a dozen times. It is deadly, Honey. On its very lowest setting it can vaporize 'Luna', your Terran moon. OK. Let's take this (Yuri hefted the replicator) and go down to your new room. We've got you on Deck Four. You'll have your own room but you'll be sharing the suite with Kagome Higurashi and Faye Valentine. (Yuri told the lift "Deck 4-Aft" and they shot downwards five levels in less than thirty seconds. Yuri stopped at a portal and tapped in her override vidkey passcode. Then she turned to Nami) I need a vidcode word for you. Something really easy to remember. This code will allow you to get in and out of your suite. It can be a word, a phrase, a name, a book title, anything at all." said Yuri.
"Make it 'Pirate Princess'- my ship back home." replied Nami and Yuri tapped it in.
One more now. You will need a one word security code. This one's oral though. You don't input it, ya say it." said Yuri.
"That's easy. 'Onepiece' will do me nicely. That's the treasure I'm hunting for back home." answered Nami and Yuri keyed it into the door release panel switchboard.
"OK. Say it now please." she ordered.
"Onepiece." said Nami and the door swished aside. "Jesus H Christ! Gimme some kinda warning next time! I may have to change my undies if that happens again!" complained a startled pirate lass. The door swished closed behind them when Yuri hit the door release.
"That reminds me. Time for you to strip." she said. Nami began peeling off layer after layer after layer until at last she stood there in a bright orange bikini swimsuit with a 'grouch bag' type fanny pouch hanging from her waistband. Nami glanced around and frowned.
"Where's the tape measure? Am I on camera?" she demanded.
"Yeah you're being photo- vidded for your new ID vid docs but don't worry because our editing will put 'fuku' er clothing on you in the photo. Just stand still so 'CC' can take your measurements." giggled Yuri.
"Your measurements have been recorded and logged into my data banks, Miss Richards and I must say that I very much prefer you in orange rather than green. Ah! I see today that you're wearing black and white ones with little pink teddy bears on them. Very becoming, darling Nami. I'm gone. Bye bye, good buddy." said 'CC' in a jovial tone.
"Behave yourself 'CC' and that's an order. The Ensign does not appreciate your humour." commanded Yuri. 'CC' apologized and split.
"Ensign? That's the third time someone has called me that. I'm a pirate so where do you get Ensign from that, ma'am?" asked Nami who was starting to shiver. Yuri was speedily repping up a complete wardrobe for her.
"You 're part of our crew now, Nami. You're in the3WA and you are a temporary tro-con, a trouble consultant trainee so that makes you an Ensign. You just better hope that Kei doesn't decide to stick you with KP duty. Incidentally, oro (what) exactly is your job anyway? Back on Terra I mean. (Nami shivered again and began coughing) Sorry. You can get dressed again but why all those clothes? Why all those layers?" asked a curious Yuri while she repped up java for them both.
"It's damned cold out on the ocean for one thing. Sometimes I need to change my appearance in a hurry so I wear two, three or even four changes of clothes over my swimsuit which is really another layer and can be used as a clothing change to boot." explained Nami.
"OK. 'CC', raise this room's heati level to forty-three degrees Kelvin please. That's seventy-five degrees Fahrenheit. So oro was your job, kid?" asked Yuri.
"I'm a navigator." replied Nami, cinching her pink cravat and binding her black 'do-rag' kerchief around her orange ringlets. "Well? Am I once again presentable?" she asked.
"Yeah. Bring your PDO and come over here." replied Yuri.
"Tap in the words 'Passenger Manifest' and hit the star vidkey there. That brings up the whole list of whom is on our our three ships- the 'Angels 1, 2 and 3'. Understand? (Nami nodded) You'll notice that each name has either 'LA1', 'LA2' or 'LA3' to the left of it. See? (Again she nodded) They stand for 'Lovely Angel 1' and so forth. OK? Great. When someone comes to you and tells you that they are going to travel with us you simply change the 'LA' number to a '2' like so. Then you tap in 'LA2', hit star and voila! the list for our ship appears. Now just make sure that the person's name appears on that list. That's all there is to it, kid. Don't worry about overbooking us. Each ship can hold well over two hundred passengers in addition to crews and personnel. I think Charlie sad our capacity was a thousand and a half or something like that. There's probably only going to be a few who decide to fly with us since we're bound for 'Seto Kaiba' and 'Paladin' before we head back home. Why don't you have a rest before lunch. There's all your stuff along with all the goodies Kei gave ya. Repping's really easy. Look here. You just turn it on. Then you state your needs or wants clearly and concisely like this. 'Coffee. Regular. Hot. Pastries. Danish. Assorted.' Here. (Yuri placed a tray of Danishes and a mug of steaming java in front of Nami) See how easy that was? Nothing to it. Why it took Kei two years to get the hang of it is completely beyond me, kid. That middle room there is yours. I put your new wardrobe in there on the bunk. I even repped up some jammies for ya. Lunch is at 1300 er one o'clock PM. Do you remember how to get to our dining hall from here? (Nami nodded while she munched her Danish and sipped her java) Fine. I gotta go but I will see ya later. Bye." called Yuri and she dashed for the lift.
"C'mon in. It's open." called Kei when her portal klaxon chimed at her quarters. Yuri came in and went right to the fridge. She popped a straw into a juice box and took a healthy pull at it.
"Mmn. That's good. Did you ever get that relay call through? (Kei nodded and took a swig of 'Jameson's') So? Oro's (What's) the verdict?" asked Yuri perching on a stool in the kitchenette.
"After we get rid of the JB pack and his wings we gotta go to 'Gallifrey' and see those two 'Guardians' again and I already know oro (what) they're gonna say. We'll have to fire 'it' again! Ya get Nami all set up, settled in, kitted out and stuff? ("Yeah and she'll have that list done for ya by ashita (tomorrow). OK?" was Yuri's answer) Oro (What) the jigoku (Hell) are we gonna do with her, kiddo?" asked Kei.
"She's a navigator, Kei. Nyssa and Mar are going on the other ships, aren't they so maybe Zoe can use her as an assistant." suggested Yuri.
"Yeah she might just be of some use after all. I've got something special for Zoe to do so maybe just for this run--" stalled Kei.
"Nami can be our navvie! Hurray!" shouted Yuri excitedly.
"I suppose I'm gonna have to relegate her KP detail to somebody else. Nami probably wouldn't like KP duty anyway. OK. She's our new navvie, kid. Get those two lazy 'Earth Alliance' kids of Nat's (Lieutenant Naturle Badgiruel formerly exec and weapons officer of the 'Archangel' gunship in Cosmic Year 30. She is now married to Lieutenant Trace Edwards of the 'Kaguran Air and Space Patrol' and she along with Ensigns Flay Allster and Cagalli Yula Athna have decided to remain with the 3WA in the 23rd Century instead of returning to a war torn Terra in an alternate time line. Here aboard the 'Angel 2' Nat was weapons officer while her 'kids' were gunner trainees and her hubby was the ship's cook along with Granny Rockabell, Zoe and Leila who was Doctor 4's companion) to do Nami's roster work instead. Upload all of the navigations crap to Nami's PDO and then give her the grand tour. Finish up on the bridge and show her the nav room last. After all she'll be practically living in there for the next couple of weeks whether she likes it or not." ordered the Boss.
Yuri finished her juice and sighed. "Fine. I'll give her the tour after lunch. I might as well take the 'Icy Six' along too. I'll tell her oro (what) her new duties are going to be. I don't think she's gonna like it though." said Yuri.
"When you tell Miss Richards oro (what) the Hell the alternative is I'm sorta sure she'll decide to be our new navvie. Send Gene and Han down here to see me if ya run into 'em. They're gonna be just thrilled to death that we're going a few million lightyears away from home I'm sure." giggled Kei impishly.
"You sure can be a real son of a bit-- er I mean a real pain in the ass sometimes, Boss but ya already knew that, didn'ty ya?" complained Yuri.
"Don't you forget who's in charge around here, Commander. Now scat." replied the redhead. Yuri tossed her juice box down the recycle chute and waved to her superior on her way out. She stopped by Flay and Caggie's digs on her way to see Nami. The two gunner trainees were not amused when Yuri informed them that they were the new 'Angel 2' reservations clerks!
"Hi Nami. You've been reprieved. The Boss has decided to have Flay and Cagalli here do the 'Angel 2' roster. She er that is well she has a slightly different job for you. (Nami made a wry face) Don't worry, it ain't clean up work nor is it KP detail. Moving on now (Nami flopped onto a reclining chair when she realized Yuri was saving her new job as a 'surprise' until later) after lunch we're all going on a tour of the ship. Won't that be fun, Nami? (Nami frowned and lit a cigarette) OK we'll go right after lunch." said Yuri brightly.
"All who exactly?" demanded Flaysie suspiciously. "Ma'am." she added after Cagalli frowned at her.
"The two of you, me and Nami, Kouga, InuYasha, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Kirara (Key-la-la), Shippou and the 'Icy Six' guys, those ice road trucker dudes from Terra. And er Nami? You'll need to wear something warmer than a kimono and your jammies." chuckled Yuri.
"A lot warmer." agreed Cagalli.
"A whole Helluva lot warmer!" added Flaysie.
"Yeah! It's Fxxxing cold below decks, Nami!" advised Caggie.
Nami sat up so abruptly in her chair that she almost dropped her smoke. "Below decks? How many damned decks does this tub have anyway, guys?" demanded Nami. She stood up and slid her pajama bottoms to the floor.
Cagalli punched Flay's arm and then began counting on her fingers. "Fourteen, I think. Right, Commander Donovan?" she asked.
Flaysie was also trying to count the decks on her fingers. "Ya sure about that? I thought it was only seven or eight at the most, Caggie." she said.
"Fourteen is correct, Cag. Nine above surface decks and five subsurface below deck ones. They are the frigid zone levels hence the winter gear in summer. You'll need a warm hat, heavy coat or parka with a hood, deck boots and heavy gloves or mittens and heavy ski pants and a sweater or sweatshirt, Nami. And goggles might be a good idea if the heating system's out again down there. (Yuri idly glanced at her wristchromo and went ballistic) Shit! It's almost 1300 man! I gotta scoot or I'm gonna be late darn it! C'mon kids. See you in the dining hall later, Nami. Leave the winter stuff you decide to wear on your bunk. We'll rendezvous at 1430 er half past two o'clock this afternoon in the rec room for our excursion. Don't be too long, Nami. Ja ne er see you later, girl." said Yuri who was shoving the two gunners' mates out the door. Nami promised to be as quick as she could and began dressing.
First a tee shirt, then a striped polo shirt went on followed by a black turtleneck and black jeans. Then Nami sat down to pull on grey socks and short black boots. Finally she yanked on her black blazer and cinched a pink cravat around her throat. Next she bound a black 'do rag' pirate kerchief around her orange mane. She shoved all of her new toys into her pockets and strapped on her dagger. Then she spun her brand new Mark XII into its shoulder holster and reluctantly stowed her twin Beretta automatics away in a drawer.
Next she threw heavy gloves, fur cap and a hooded white anorak with a heavy scarf on her bunk. She had already loaded the bed up with dark grey ski pants, two green turtlenecks, a 3WA sweatshirt, long white underwear shirt and pants, heavy socks and snow goggles. As an afterthought she added a pair of heavy white deck boots to the pile. Nami slipped on her pink tinted sunglasses and she was ready to go.
A short lift drop brought the pirate lassie to Level Two where she entered the rec room, waved to all hands and continued through to the adjoining dining hall.
"Hey! Over here, Richards!" screamed Flaysie Allster. Her tablemates were Yuri, Cagalli Yula Athna, the doggie hanyou InuYasha, the wolf youkai Kouga, Kagome Higurashi, that demon slayer girl Sango, the unusual monk Miroku, and a half dozen very weird looking guys wearing identical gold/wine coloured flightsuits. A small white kitten was perched on Sango's lap and purred quietly. Nami wondered where Kirara was and decided that Sango had two kitties instead of just one like she'd assumed.
"Hullo Nami. I think you know everyone here. Oh! Allow me to introduce you to the 'Icy Six' as we've dubbed them. They're ancient 'truckers' from Terra and they drive on the Arctic ice roads there. Sadly they are displaced persons same as you, kiddo. From left to right we have Alex the 'Minister of the Ice Roads', Hugh the 'Polar Bear', Rick, Drew, Bear and Eric our 'Ladies' Man' ice roader. (Yuri raised her voice a bit) Let's have some service over here please, Peri." said the violet-maned vixen and Peri Brown jetted over to take their orders.
"The usual for us, girlie." said Hugh the 'Polar Bear' and Alex frowned at him. "Sorry ma'am. Just bring us what we always get, please." he apologized.
"I know your brood all wants the usual for luncheon, Commander. Oro (What) about you er Nami, isn't it?" asked Peri, fingers poised over her PDO vidkey pad.
Nami glanced around in amazement. "No menus, Miss?" she asked and everyone laughed out loud.
"Nope. No menus. You name it and we rep it for ya so oro's (what's) your pleasure, Pirate Girl?" replied the pert Floridian waitress.
Nami thought for a moment. Then she began ticking things off on her gloved fingers. "Quiche, potato 'roesti' (rest-ee), creamed peas, beer and a chocolate souffle for dessert. Think ya can handle that, Miss Peri?" joked Nami Richards. A bored Peri nodded abstractedly.
"You got it, kiddo. Be right back. Get that hand off of my ass, monk or I'll break it off dammit!" replied Peri and she jetted off on her repulsor lift jet boots. When she returned she hod a fully laden antigrav trolley as did her helpers 'Kitten' (Mae) and 'Cat' (Rally).
"Here we go. Yours and yours. (She had soon distributed plates, dishes, cups, mugs, bowls and glasses to everyone at the table except the wolf and dog) 'Kitten's got Kouga's stuff and 'Cat's got Dog Boy's! Gad! The pair of ya eat like Fxxxing Saiyaans! Ready? 'Kitten'? 'Cat'? C'mon. We have got more hungry customers waiting for us! Bye gang." said Peri and the trio jetted off again.
"What the Hell's a 'Saiyaan'?" asked Nami between bites of her most excellent lunch.
"Pigs. Just like them, pretty lady." answered Eric with a twinkle in his deep azure aizu (eyes).
"Down boy. I heard that gal pulled a gat (old Terran term for a firearm or gun) on Reds herself." muttered Bear and Eric blanched white.
"I truly meant no offense, ma'am. My apologies, Miss Nami." said Eric hurriedly.
"Either 'Wonderland' or 'Oz'. It's gotta be one or the other of them. Gotta be." she mumbled and swallowed the last of her beer.
"Two o'clock. OK. We meet up in half an hour at 1430, that's half past two, at the bar next door. Remember to dress warm and er don't forget to wear your snuggies." chortled Yuri ad left to get ready for the trip.
By 1430 everyone who was going was gathered around the bar nursing their drinks when Nami finally strolled in.
"Finally. We'll begin our tour at Sub-Level One and finish up on the Command Deck- Surface Level Nine. Everybody follow me." said Yuri and she led the way to the lift banks.
"And last but not least my tomos (friends) we have the navigations and scanning room the 'nav room' for short. This room houses the navigations and scanning stations. This is where we keep the navigational star and planetary vidcharts as well as the 'Galactic Compendium' listing all known worlds, moons, asteroids and the like. This part of the room is where the 'navvie' coordinates with the pilot and determines which darn way the ship travels. The opposite end up or down there is our scanning station where the scanning officer keeps a watchful aizu (eye) peeled for anything out of the ordinary such as runaway asteroids, enemy starcrafts, stars going supernova, exploding gravity wells and minor stuff like that. (Her party all looked like they were about to lose their lunches) That's about it, I believe. I think I've covered everything, haven't I? Arigatou (Thank you) all for coming and oh hai (yeah, yes) say konnichi wa (hello or hi or good afternoon) to our brand spanking new 'navvie'- Ensign Nami Richards of Terra. Any questions?" said Yuri thinking she had handled this tricky task as smooth as 'Jagardanian' silk.
"What in the Fxxxing Hell did you just say, Vacuumhead? I can't navigate a tub this size! I'm a seaman, a sailor not a Fxxxing astronaut ya know!" squealed a very upset Nami Richards.
Six levels below them Gene Starwind and Han Solo were not very happy campers either. "Oro (What) did you just say, Reds? We are going to 'Seto Kaiba' first, then to 'Paladin' and then all the way to frigging 'Gallifrey' before we head for home sweet home? Are you nuts?" shouted Gene the roguish master of the 'Outlaw Star'.
"Look here, Reds Honey! I was sorta lookin' forward to seeing my Leia again. (Princess Leia Organa Skywalker Solo was now Han's wife as well as the newly elected leader of the 'New Republic of Corestan' formerly the 'Galactic Empire') Why can't ya just pick another poor sap to be your co-pilot if ya wanna go all the way to 'Timelordsville'?" drawled Han the ex-pirate and hero of the rebel alliance.
"Stow it dammit! You two are my pilot and my co-pilot whether ya like it or not and that is final! I am your commanding officer ya know! Now sit your asses down and shut the Hell up dammit! That's an order me boyos!" roared the redhead rising to her feet. She almost reached to Han's chin (without heels) and she was barely level with Gene's shoulder. Despite their size differences they both knew better than to argue with the 'Red Marshall' as Gene had dubbed the red-headed firebrand Hellcat.
"OK. You win, Reds. Who's gonna navigate for us? I've only been to the Docs' world once and Han here's got no damned idea how to get there. Well?" inquired Starwind.
Kei bit her lip and hesitated. "Mar?" ventured Solo.
"Nai (No)." said Kei.
"That tow-headed Trakken kid Nyssa?" tried Starwind.
"Nope. Not her either, Gene." replied Kei and she began to sweat.
"Zoe?" demanded Han Solo.
"Wrong again, pirate. Close but no cigar. It is a pirate though." said the redhead.
"Not Emma? (Emma 'Queen' Emeraldas was Jon Harlock's niece and master of her own starcraft, the 'Emerald Queen') She can't navigate worth a shit!" yelled Gene.
The Boss shook her kawaii (lovely) head and suddenly a tough as nails and devil may care soldier of fortune Han Solo went as white as Nami's newly repped Arctic boots!
"Oh Nai (No)!! You cannot possibly mean that idiot broad that Blue just 'found' the other night? Nami Richards! She's a seafaring Terran navvie for Christ's sake! She probably won't do it for ya anyway if she's got any Fxxxing sense at all in that orange head of hers!" snarled Han and Marshall Kei O'Halloran exploded.
"She had shimatta (damned) well better do it or she'll be swabbing out the shithouses as the new Fxxxing P.L.O. (Permanent Latrine Orderly which was the job currently co-held by the two 'Jersey Jerks' Jamie Wilson and Goat Smith) for the rest of her stay in this time era! She is your new 'navvie' so deal with it! Yuri's giving her a crash course in navigating right now as we speak. I hear tell she's a whiz at navving back on Terra so she'll do just fine dammit. Now get upstairs and run a complete diagnostics check on all of our systems. Use Mugghi and Nammo to help ya with it. Now both of ya- scat!" growled the angry redhead.
Gene and Han decided that discretion was the better part of valour and beat a hasty retreat to the bridge where they arrived just in time to catch Yuri before she hit the deck after running afoul of Nami's haymaker left and right cross to the chin!
"You ain't allowed to belt your superiors, Ensign! You'll get your ass courts-martialed and thrown in the brig!" yelled Gene.
"I won't do it! Dammit all to Hell! I just cannot navigate a starship! Can't you idiotic morons get that fact through your thick Fxxxing skulls? Read my lips. I will not do it! So there!" shrieked a wildcat that looked a Helluva lot like Ensign Nami Richards. She seated herself in the pilot's chair, crossed her legs and folded her arms across her chest.
"Then I sure as Hell hope that ya like scrubbing out the bogs, Richards because that is exactly oro (what) you will be doing until you go back home to Terra. Reds just said so." roared Starwind.
"So there Missy." added Han and he sat down in his co-pilot's chair, folded his arms and crossed his legs.
"She- she- she wouldn't dare!" cried Nami.
"You er dunno our Reds like we do, Honey. She means oro (what) she says, Ensign Richards." drawled Solo.
"And she'd 'dare', Missy. Now get your ass up outta there. You are sittin' in my chair." said Gene.
END of Ch 31. Ch 32 soon. Getting interesting eh? Wonder how our heroine's gonna get outta this one? Read on and r/r/s away as always. Have a wunnerful day and sfn/sys/jm/Kami bless you all for your interest and assistance. Hooble-toodle-doo! Toodles tomos watashi-K&K
PS- I really do appreciate all your loyalty and support over the years my tomos watashi all! And you can take that to the bank folks!-K&K
Meet Rally 'Cat' Vincent folks! She hails from Terran Chicago and along with her tomo Minnie Mae 'Kitten' Hopkins, our 'Blonde Bomber' they are a kawaii (lovely) pair of 'cowgirls' er bounty hunters that is!
OK before I give you the latest posted chapter of Angel Wings here is the mytery pix for you to identify. Only hard core anime nutcases (like yours truly) will probably recognize this scion of the anime industry. Hint- His theme music is the same as Steel Angel Kurumi's and it is actually sung in English on this old anime series. The music is the same (but not the lyrics) as the theme 'Hooray for Santy Claus' from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and his voiceactress was named Candi Milo who does many voices such the Flea and the Headmistress from Mucha Lucha and of course Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory! Eddie Deezen is cool as the voice of Dex's nemesis Mandark and as the know-it-all kid in Polar Express. OK that's enough clues. Now it's time for you to guess. Who is he? His name is the series:
OK before I give you the latest posted chapter of Angel Wings here is the mytery pix for you to identify. Only hard core anime nutcases (like yours truly) will probably recognize this scion of the anime industry. Hint- His theme music is the same as Steel Angel Kurumi's and it is actually sung in English on this old anime series. The music is the same (but not the lyrics) as the theme 'Hooray for Santy Claus' from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and his voiceactress was named Candi Milo who does many voices such the Flea and the Headmistress from Mucha Lucha and of course Dexter from Dexter's Laboratory! Eddie Deezen is cool as the voice of Dex's nemesis Mandark and as the know-it-all kid in Polar Express. OK that's enough clues. Now it's time for you to guess. Who is he? His name is the series:ANGEL WINGS
DISCLAIMER: OK Ryuuk, it's all yours. First I wanna thank Mr T for the use of his Angels and stuff. Then I wanna thank everyone else who has been allowing us to use their creations here like Thom Beers for the use of his ice road truckers Hugh, Drew, Rick, Eric, Alex and Bear. I took the liberty of naming the 3WA academy in Furool City on Shimougou after Mr Haruka Takachiho in honour of his creations- the Angels. How was that, Yuri? Great, kiddo. Oh hai it sure was, Kei! Now since we left ya up in the air last time let's get to Ch 31 without any further meandering, shall we? Admiral O'Helloran? Boy! Is our Nami in for a rude awakening eh? Read on folks:-
CHAPTER 31
'Angelic Travel Plans?' or 'New Navvie?'
"I'm a Marshall now, kid not an Admiral and it's O'Halloran not O'Helloran. Just call me Kei or Boss like everybody else does. C'mon. Sit down and have some chow, Richards. C'mon, girl! I don't bite!" rumbled the commander.
"Nai, but she kicks like a mule!" whispered a giggling Yuri.
Nami Richards was struck dumb! The 'he' was really a 'she' and 'she' looked to be just a few years older than seventeen year old Nami!
"You're the Kommandant? I thought sure that Blue er I mean Legato er I mean Mr Bluesummers was the Captain aboard this thing, ma'am!" yelped Nami who belatedly snapped to attention and saluted Kei.
Nami's hair was red but nowhere near as red as Kei's although at almost two and a half meters she towered over the tall redhead.
"Sit down, Nami! You from 'McHale's Navy' or something, kiddo? That is some getup ya got on there, that it is!" chortled the Boss.
Nami bristled with anger and then she made the mistake of her young life! "Don't you dare laugh at me, dammit! Getup? Look at your own, Honey!" she yelled and levelled a Beretta at the shorter redhead who was in her usual 'getup' of black tank top, grey 3WA gym shorts and sneakers. Suddenly-
Zang! A lightning bolt stung Nami's fingers causing her to drop her automatic pistol. Kei vaulted over the table and landed a hard right cross to Nami's upthrust chin which sent he sprawling into Blackfire's arms.
Leona Ozaki who had fired her own Mark XII ion cannon at Nami drew back to add a haymaker to Kei's right cross when--
"OK, Contessa. I think that our Miss Richards got the hint, don't you?" drawled Han Solo who had grabbed Leona's wrist in a grip of pure Kelvinite.
"Naruto! Water for Miss Richards onegai (please)!" yelled Kei.
Yuri managed to bring the girl around by applying 'amyl nitrite' (smelling salts) to her nostrils. Yuri was glaring daggers at Kei. The redhead shook her head vigorously.
"Don't look at me, Vacuumhead! All I did was belt her one! Leona shot her! That smartass kid drew down on me, dammit! Ask anybody here if ya don't believe me, Airhead!" howled Kei angrily.
Naruto brought the water and after a few swallows Nami managed to sit up. Yuri loosened the Terran pirate girl's collar or collars it seemed.
"A scarf and a tie and a heavy turtleneck too? In this weather? (It was summer on 'Workoh') You surely are 'dressed to the nines', girl! ("Did ya really take your pants off in front of Legato last night?" whispered Mar who was busily spraying Nami's fingers with 'Dakora' (a painkiller) to try and ease the painful stinging caused by Leona's ionic plasma bolt. "Yeah but I did have my swimsuit on under them, ma'am!" Nami whispered back and winced a bit when Yuri felt her head) No concussion, thank Kami and according to my tricorder your vitals appear to be normal. (Yuri lowered her voice an octave or two) Seriously though kid, you are damned lucky that you are still in one piece (subtle hint here) after trying a stunt like that! I'd alter that wardrobe if I were you, Nami. On our ships it's mostly casual dress. (Yuri turned to leave then turned back) Be sure to stop by sick bay to see me if you start getting any headaches. (Yuri stuck out her hand) Gomen er sorry, Nami. I am Yuri Donovan, the Boss's exec. I am a full fledged Wing Commander but everybody just calls me Yuri. We're all on a first name basis around here except for the 'Starfleet' gang who are sticklers for protocol. Go ahead and have some breakfast. Then we'll get you all kitted out and settled in. You won't be seeing Terra I mean the Earth anytime soon, I'm very much afraid." apologized Yuri.
"But er one of your officers, a Mr 'CC' said we were leaving for home at noon today. He really is quite obnoxious as well as promiscuous! He really should be disciplined, ma'am." suggested Nami.
Yuri chukled. "Sorry Nami but 'home' means 'our' home in 'Furool (Foo-Lon) City' back on 'Shimougou' and that's a world somwhere near Mars. Well- around a few hundred thousand kilos from Mars I should say. 'CC' is our 'Central Computer' program and although he is treated like a member of our crew he is definitely 'not' an officer. Now er don't tell me, let me guess. 'CC' saw you in your skivvies and you got mad at him. Right?" asked Yuri and the red-faced girl nodded.
"I see. By the way Nami those 'thundersticks' of yours won't work aboard these ships of ours you know. I've got an 'energy damper barrier' in place and that means that your blade (Yuri pointed out Nami's stiletto dagger strapped to the girl's right thigh) will not cut crap either. You'd better start trying to curb that temper of yours especially around Kei or you are gonna get yourself seriously hurt. You are part of 'our' crew now, the 3WA so let's get you all kitted out after Kei has her meeting. Are you er still wearing your 'mizugi' I mean swimsuit underneath those glad rags? (Nami nodded) That's great because we usually do our replicator measuring in our underwear but your swimsuit will be OK. Did I mention that we're usually pretty darned casual aboard our ships? (Nami nodded again but Yuri frowned) You er do know that we I mean this ship, the 'Lovely Angel 2' is not going straight home to 'Shimougou', didn't you? (Nami thought "Oh Christ! How long am I gonna get stuck here? Oh well at least these guys seem like thedecent sort. No telling oro (what) the folks are like at this 'Fooling Around City' place! Best to just go with the flow and tag along with 'Red Rag Mop Doll' and this simpleton dimwit for now." she mused. Yuri was still chattering away) Our other two ships, the 'Lovely Angels 1 and 3' are though so you could fly back aboard one of them if you like or you can stay here with us and take a side trip jaunt to 'Seto Kaiba' (a somewhat distant penal colony planet) before we get you back home, kid. (Nami looked as confused as the nine Hells of Dante's Inferno! Yuri smiled and shook her kawaii violet mane) Sorry kiddo, I'll just let the Boss explain things at her meeting. Ooh! You gotta try these yummy Danish pastries! I can't believe that they were actually baked and not repped up like they usually are! (Yuri hastily tried to tell Nami all about their 'replicators' but it was going way over the poor kid's head) After breakfast I'll take you next door to our rec room and you can relax for a bit and have a few drinks at the bar or you can use our 'holodecks' upstairs on Eight. One of 'em's got a pool inside it and a seaside too! You must really like to swim if you wear your 'mizugi' er swimsuit underneath your er uniform. Right? (Nami grinned, nodded and blushed) You must have a ton of questions to ask me kid so just fire away." said Yuri.
"It's a trifle warm in here, Yuri. Mind if I get comfy first?" she asked.
"Be my guest." replied the exec.
Nami draped her blazer and vest across the back of her chair and kicked off her boots.
"If we er weren't in mixed company I'd show you my tattoos, Yuri." chuckled the rangy teenager. "We'll have to talk later I guess since it's almost eleven. I will ask you one question for now. Is that banshee fruitcake ragdoll really your commanding officer? My Kami! She's my age!" said Nami and Yuri smiled sweetly.
"Yeah kiddo. Marshall Keirran O'Halloran really is our CO and Wing Commander Donovan really is her exec. That would be me by the way and we are both twenty years old. I'd say you're seventeen or eighteen and pretty darned independent to boot. ("Seventeen and a half actually." corrected Nami) You're just the kind of young buck tro-con material we're looking for at 'United Galactica' and the 3WA. If there's nothing waiting for ya back home why not join up with us? It's really fun work and let me tell you something Honey. Out here we 'are' the law and we don't take crap from anybody or anything! (Yuri glanced at her wristchromo and frowned) Darn! It's 1055 hours (10.55 AM) already so I guess I'll have to put off showing you around the 'Angel' until later. Wait! I've got it. I'll give you and our other 'newbies' the Cook's Tour after lunch. (She cast a critical aizu over Nami's pink cravat, yellow shirt, crimson tie and white socks) However, we'll get your uniform repped up before lunch or you'll roast to death. When Kei's all done shooting off her big mouth I'll meet you next door (Yuri pointed) in the rec room. Just tell one of our lifts to take you there. I hate to leave you on your own like this but duty calls and I'm needed. Uh uh. Kei's giving me that 'come hither' look. (Nami rose to go) You're done eating already? (Nami nodded and pulled on her boots, re-cinched her cravat, slipped back into her vest and accepted a wolf's assistance to get her blazer back on. The wolf was of course- Kouga the wolf youkai demon) Then let's go next door and find you a good seat for the fiasco. That's oro (what) Kei's meetings usually end up becoming- major foul-ups. C'mon Nami. You too Wolfie boy." said Yuri.
She led them through the portals to the rec room where Kouga immediately made a beeline for the bar. "I'll have--" he began.
"Iced tea. Kagome's orders, Wolf Boy. Positively no hard stuff for you demons. Iced tea coming right up." said Neko Olson who was BOD (Barkeep of the Day) this morning. Nami made a wry face.
"Yuck! I hate iced tea! You got any milkshakes?" she asked and took a stool next to Miroku the Mischievous Monk.
"Sure thing, love. Oro (What) flavour do you want? We got a few hundred or so. You name it and I'll rep it." replied Neko.
"Double chocolate, please." said Nami and pulled out her wallet. "Let's see here. I've got MasterCard, VISA, Diners' Club, Carte Blanche, American Express, Capitol One or would you prefer cash?" she asked and Neko the shapeshifting nekomata cat/human/trill giggled.
"This is an 'open' bar, ma'am. Everything on the ship is free." explained the monk who had dropped to one knee in front of the teen-aged newcomer.
Yuri glanced over and blanched white.
"Oh nai (no)! Not him!" she thought. Too late she'd noticed whom it was that Nami had sat next to at the bar.
"Kawaii enjeru (Lovely angel), would you do me the honour of bearing my children?" asked Miroku in a serious sounding tone of voice. Of course Nami Richards reacted.
"You stinking slimy dirty son of a bitch! (Whammo!) Take that, you pervert! You're a preist for Christ's sake!" Nami had decked him a good one in the jaw with a stiff right cross which knocked the amorous monk into the next patron at the bar- Sango!
The demon slayer maid smiled.
"Sorry about that, kid. He's harmless. Our dear Miroku spins that line to every single female he meets for the first time. Konnichi wa (Hi or Hello), I'm Sango and you must be Miss Richards. Nice to meet you. Blue said he er met you last evening. A little bewildered by all this folderol stuff, are you? (Nami nodded ruefully) You won't need that wallet here. Nobody's money is any good on the 'Angel 2' or any other 3WA or 'UG' vessel either for that matter. giggled Sango.
Nami belatedly realized that she was still holding out her credit cards to Neko who has just plunked down a gigantic milkshake in front of her. Sango sipped her mocha hazelnut latte and smiled at the taller girl) The 3WA and company pick up all of the tabs for anything we want or need and believe me, Miss Richards, I really do mean anything! (Nami slipped her cards back into her wallet and returned her wallet to her blazer's inside breast pocket) Get up, Lover boy! (Sango nudged Miroku with her foot) By the way I'm a demon slayer, this (she tapped her boot on Miroku's head) is a Buddhist monk/preist and Wolfie boy Kouga over there is a full youkai, a full fledged demon. Our barkeep there is Neko Olson and she's a shapeshifting nekomata cat/human/trill but she's not demonic. Honey, things ain't always oro (what) they may seem to be around here, Miss Richards." explained Sango.
Nami drained her shake and got to her feet. "Thanks Sango and it's just plain old Nami. OK? Miss Richards is way too formal for a pirate like me, don't you think? Excuse me but I believe I'll go out on the deck for awhile. I need some fresh air." said Nami.
"Ya can't go out on deck, ya stupid baka broad. Didn't nobody tell ya this is a space ship? There ain't no air outside, ya birdbrained baka." said a tall teen-aged boy who looked to be about fifteen years old. He was wearing an old red bathrobe and he had the cutest little doggie ears. The lad was shovelling in ramen as fast as he could eat it. A few dozen empty bowls littered the bar top in front of him.
"Hey! That's not nice, InuYasha! You really must excuse him, ma'am. We're still training him you see but he is right. This is a big airplane thing way up in the stars so ya can't go outside but there's windows in the 'star room' (observation deck on Level Seven) upstairs and you can see outside real good, ma'am. Ow! Kagome! InuYasha hit me again! Ka-go-me!" yelled a small fox-like creature.
Nami's arm blocked InuYasha's fist before he could punch the little guy again. "Why don't ya pick on somebody your own size, Doggie? Leave the little thing there alone or else! And if you call me a stupid broad again I'll wipe up the floor with you!" shouted Nami.
Suddenly she felt like something had just bit her arm! She glanced down and the 'poor little thing' had sunk its teeth deep into her forearm! She shook him off and grabbed him by the collar.
"You leave InuYasha alone, ya big bully! And I ain't no 'thing' neither! I'm a 'kitsune', a fox youkai demon! Better be careful or I'll turn ya into a toad, Lady!" howled the kid before the 'Mad Hatter' boxed his ears.
"Stop this senseless bickering, Shippou! The 'Red Marshall' is about to speak. Good morning, Miss Nami. I am the Doctor." said Doctor Six tipping his hat to the newbie.
"A doctor? Really? You got anything for a headache, Doc?" asked Nami and the bar exploded with laughter.
"He's not a real doctor, Nami. He's just a time lord. C'mon with me. The Boss Lady wants to introduce ya to everybody." said a teen-aged schoolgirl with long black tresses wearing 3WA sweats and sneakers. Nami meekly allowed Kagome to lead her to the podium beside the blue telephone booth! Kei stretched her arm up and her fingertips just managed to touch Nami's shoulder.
"Listen up, folks! This here's our newest crewman- Nami Richards. She hails from Terra and she's a real pirate. (Nami smiled, bobbed her orange head and waved to everyone like a prom queen at a high school football rally) We'll find something to keep her busy, won't we gang? (A general snickering greeted that one since newbies got either cleaning jobs or kitchen duty) OK kiddo. Welcome aboard. Ya can go back and sit down, Ensign. (Then Kei got serious) To business, ladies and gents. As most of ya already know the 'Angel 2' ain't gonna be going straight home. We're making a slight detour to 'Seto Kaiba' to drop off John Berringer and his band of nutcases. His starship the 'Starcrusher' has been impounded and docked below in our bays. After we finish our business at 'Seto K' we'll turn and burn back to 'Paladin' where we have a 3WA base. That's one of 'Shimougou's numerous moons. We'll dump off the 'Starcrusher' there along with a few of our 3WA tro-con cadet trainees. Then we'll head for home. (There was a wave of groaning and cursing) Don't worry. The 'Angels 1 and 3' are going straight back home from here so anyone who wants to get to 'Furool (Foo-Lon) City' or 'Elenore City' can leave with one of them. The 'Angel 1' will be under Legato Bluesummers's command and I'm leaving the 'Angel 3' in the capable hands of Jonathan Harlock. I'm handing over command of the 'Angel 2' to the Vacuumhead I mean to Wing Commander Yuri Maureen Donovan. Newly promoted Colonel Marlene Angel will be serving as Blue's exec, co-pilot and navigator. Jon's exec and co-pilot will be Naraku with Nyssa as his navvie. Our own pilot will be Gene Starwind with Han Solo co-piloting us. Zoe Morton will be our navigator. Suba (Subaltern) Kome Sawguchi, Ensign Nami Richards and Ensign Peri Winkle Brown will be in charge of determining and keeping track of who is on oro (what) ship so let them know your decisions as soon as possible. Since Kome is going with Blue she'll handle the roster for the 'Angel 1' while Peri who is going on the 'Angel 3' will keep that ship's roster. Our newest newbie Nami Richards will keep tabs on who's coming with us on this ship the 'Angel 2' so onegai (please) cooperate with them. And er kids? I'll need those rosters by (The Boss glanced at her wristchromo) tonight at (The travel agency trio said a collective "Shit! No way in Hell, man!") OK make it ashita er tomorrow morning at 1000 hours and that means ten o'clock AM, guys. No later than that because I wanna lift off before noon. Got that? (The trio gave the ancient Ballantine three ring sign which meant OK) Well, that's about it for me. Anybody got any questions?" finished the Boss and she fired up a cheroot.
"Yeah, I got one! Where the Hell are we, Reds? Really?" demanded Nami.
"Somebody take Nami up to the 'star room' and show her where we 'really' are. Please? No more questions? OK. Arigatou (Thank you) to all of ya for coming. Dismissed. Yuri, you're with me." replied Kei and she jogged to the gantryway stairs. Yuri hung back, cleared her throat and pointed to the lift banks.
Kei grinned. "Relax kiddo. We're only going a deck up to Engineering. I want to check out our new warpcore. After that I want to see Nami Richards. Who got the short straw and had to drag her ass up to the 'star room'? Revy and Cagalli eh? And our Flaysie didn't try and tag along? Who? 'Cat' and the 'Kitten'? Oh! Rally and the 'Blonde Bomber'. Fine. Ah! Here we are, Airhead. After you, milady. (Yuri preceded her Boss into the mammoth engine room and wrinkled her nose at the stench. Yuri hated Engineering with a passion) Cy! You in here, boyo?" roared Kei which caused her exec to shudder.
"Shut the Hell up, dammit! Cy's visiting somebody on the 'Angel 1' until this evening! Hey! Dynamo! I need another stabilizing unit for the M24-3647.8 core housing! Leona! We got company! Find out who the Fxxx's out in our main engine room! Get rid of 'em if ya can! They're yelling their fool heads off out there! Leona! Get a move on your ass! Dynamo! I really need that damned fool thing sometime before ashita (tomorrow) dammit!" screeched a very angry space techie. She didn't know that Leona Ozaki had already left with her armoured LandMate 2XL21Y about three hours ago.
"Ya want anything done around here ya gotta do it your own damned self! Who the Fxxx's doing all that shimatta (damned) yelling out here?" demanded a welding helmeted space technician wielding a flaming arc torch in either gloved fist.
"Sorry to bother ya. I just wanted a quick sneak peek at our new core." explained Kei.
"Oh ya did, did ya! Well I ain't got time to give every baka idiot moron a tour of my warp--" began Blackfire until she had removed her helmet.
"Like I was saying I do apologize for disturbing ya but this my ship not yours, kid." replied Kei.
Blackfire dropped helmet and torches, snapped to attention and saluted her superiors. "Gomen er excuse me and I do humbly beg your pardon, ma'am. Onegai (Please) follow me. We're still putting the finishing touches on it." said Blackfire of Tamaran. Yuri quietly retrieved the dropped torches and extinguished them.
"Will we be ready to go by tomorrow, Black?" she asked.
"Sure thing, Commander. Well be finished by dinnertime today. (she raised her voice an octave or three) That is if I get that bloody stabilizing unit anytime soon!" yelled the svelte space techie and a giant raptor dinosaur Triceraton lumbered into the room.
'Dynamo' threw a small box at his techie who barely caught it.
"Be careful dammit, ya big dumb ass reptile! This thing's really Fxxxing delicate!" shouted Black.
"You got the damned blamed thing, didn't you? Now shut up and install it! Oh? Hiya Reds! Vaccy! Catch ya later!" said 'Dynamo' and he turned to go.
"I told ya never to call me that, Lieutenant and the Boss is not Reds!" cried Yuri angrily. The behemoth Leviathan merely waved a talon the size of a football at them.
"And stop giving your superiors the finger, mister!" yelled Blackfire.
"Hey! Is that it, Black?" called Kei and Blackfire nodded.
"Yup. We can take her from rei (zero) to goju (fifty) in san (three) solar seconds flat, Boss Lady. It used to take roku (six) seconds to do that! Twice as long! This baby'll come in real damned handy if we gotta use that 'thundermaker' on Six again!" crowed Blackfire.
"We have to be going. Well done. Keep up the good work, Ensign. C'mon Kei." said Yuri and she steered the redhead towards the door.
"Willco, Boss. See ya, Commander. Let's do lunch today. 1300 hours (1 PM) OK? (Yuri waved back and nodded) Righty-o. See ya then. Sayonara." called the dark-haired Tamaranian princess.
"Where to now, Boss? We're going to see Nami. Right?" asked the exec.
"Nope. Back to our quarters. I gotta put a relay through to 'Q' and 'Wolfie'. (Doctor Cueball, chief of R&D at 3WA HQ and Dr Wolf Von Bork his research assistant) Maybe they've finally figured out how to end this blasted mess." replied Kei and Yuri suggested they use 'Shenron', Terra's 'Eternal Dragon' to just wish all their problems away. "Nai (No) we can't. For one thing we've already used this year's wish and for another Bulma told us that 'Shenron' can't grant the same wish twice so that idea's out, kid. I sure as Fxxx hope that I don't gotta fire that 'God Gun' again! Here we are. You do the honours this time if you please, Commander. Arigatou (Thanks)." said Kei so Yuri tapped in the new vidkey code to open their portal.
Then she spoke the phrase 'Hiten Mitsurugi' which was the name of Kenshin Himura's 'ryuu' or style of 'kenjutsu' swordfighting. The door hissed aside and they entered the suite. The portal swished shut behind them.
Kei picked up the relay mike while Yuri flopped on the sofa. A short while later Kei was fuming.
"Great! That's just Fxxxing great! Those two shitheads are in the lab and cannot be disturbed! Crap!" yelled the redhead and she tossed the mike on her coffee table.
"How are our prisoners doing?" yawned Yuri.
Kei opened up a wall panel and glanced at a small vidscreen covered with brightly coloured flashing dots. "All prisoners present and correct, mum." teased the Boss.
"Oh shut up will ya. I'm beat. Mind if I crash on your sofa for an hour or two? I need a nice nap." yawned the vixen and she stretched out on Kei's couch. She was soon fast asleep. Kei covered her with an Afghan and then took her own express lift up to Deck Seven- the 'Star Room' level.
This huge planetarium-like room seemed to be a very popular place today. The six 'Ice Roaders' were there gazing out into deep space. Beside them Revy Roberts, Neko Olson, Rally Vincent, Minnie Mae Hopkins, Cagalli Yula Athna, Kagome Higurashi, Shippou, Jonathan Harlock, Emma Emeraldas (Jon's niece), Han Solo, Jett Black, Spike Steigel, Faye Valentine, Ed and Ein, Sango and Kirara (Key-la-la) the neko (cat) youkai (demon), Arkton (Older brother to Blackfire and Starfire), Fritz Von Dekker the 'Green Baron' who was Emma's exec on the 'Emerald Queen', Nami Richards, Kome Sawaguchi, Peri Winkle Brown and a host of other stargazers were just as fascinated by the panorama of emptiness spread out in front of their wondering aizu (eyes).
"Quite a sight, ain't it? That planet below us is 'Workoh'. I spent the first decade of my life down there. Christ! I was there for the first half of my existence! Yo! Nami! Ya see now why ya couldn't go 'out on deck' for a fresh air stroll?" growled a gravelly voice from behind them.
"Aber (But) surely das ist a breatheable atmosphere down there, Fraulein (Froy-line) Reds, ist it nacht (not)?" asked the 'Green Baron' pointing below the ship.
"Of course it is Fritzy but we ain't 'down there'. We are 'up here' above it and that's a vacuum outside. No air. Feel free to stare at the cosmos as long as ya like, kids. However, I just want to borrow Nami for awhile. C'mon Ensign. We need to talk. See all you guys at lunch. Ja Mata. (See you later.)" said Kei. She led Nami back to her express lift and they rode up the final two levels of the ship to Deck Nine, the 'Command Deck' at the very top of the 'Angel 2'. Kei escorted Nami onto the bridge where a two and a half meter tall white neko (cat) was piloting the ship! Nami's aizu (eyes) popped and she snapped her fingers.
"Now I get it! This is 'Wonderland' and I'm Alice! Instead of a big white rabbit I run into a big white cat, a damned big one!" cried the girl pirate. Kei blinked and turned back to Nami.
"Huh? Aw, that's just Mugghi. She's a genetically altered and enhanced Nekomata Android. Like a 'biodroid' sorta. She won't hurt ya, kiddo. (Kei pointed out a small box-like robot not unlike 'R2D2' in 'Star Wars') That is 'Nammo' our robotic jack of all trades. Hey Mugghi? Anything happening yet? (Mugghi shook her head) Nai (No)? Nammo? (The robotoid beeped and hooted) Nai (No)? OK. See you two later. (She turned back to Nami) This is our bridge, Ensign. As ya can see we control and pilot the ship from here. That's the weapons centre and this is the communications centre. In here (Kei threw open the door to an adjoining room) we have our 'Navigation Room' or 'Nav Room' for short. We coordinate our directions and courses from this end of the console and we scan for trouble from the other end. Two decks beneath us on Seven where you just came from the other end of the corridor houses our 'transporter pads' or 'beaming blocks' as we call them. That's how we usually enter and leave the ship. (Kei picked up a small gizmo like an ancient Terran hand held video game) Here. Take this and these. (She handed Nami a pair of triangular earrings and a wristchromo) You'll need them." said the Boss.
"Thanks but I already have a cell phone and a wristwatch and I hate those earrings! They're gross! Yuck!" said Nami.
"These earrings are 'comlinks' communicators just like the ones you have on now. The difference is that these have a longer range- five hundred thousand kilos. This wristchromo shows universal time and monitors your vital signs. That allows us to keep track of ya at all times, kid and this here ain't no 'cell phone' as ya called it. It's one of our PDOs, a 'Personal Data Organizer'. Think of it as your pocketbook, purse, computer, calendar, tricorder, weapon, you name it thing. Your er 'cell phone' won't work here but this will. (She handed Nami a smaller 'cell phone' with a smallish screen inset) It's a vidcell comm unit, however, its range is really very limited- less than a lightyear. (Nami blinked) Touch its screen with your fingertip. (Nami did so and ejaculated "Holy Shit!" when the figure of Han Solo leaped off the screen at her!) That's a 'holographic image projection' of the last person you called. Guess that's Zoe's old one. She had a real thing for Han before he got hitched to Leia that is. Oh yeah. Take these as well. Keep one of 'em with you or on your person at all times- even when you go to the can to take a crap at night. (Kei handed her a Mark XII ion cannon, a power pack for it and a laser sword hilt with another extra power pack) This little beauty is a Mark XII, a hand held plasma generated ion cannon. It uses a 4XT power pack which loads like the clip on an ancient Terran automatic pistol, yours for example. It fires plasma generated ion energy bolts and each pack contains around four and a half thousand bolts. This tiny gem is a laser sword hilt. Also powered by a 4XT power pack it is ignited by pressing this stud like so. (Kei pressed it causing a green and white beam of glowing energy to shoot out the end of the device) Oro (What) else? Oh yeah. This (Kei pointed out a gadget that looked like a small microwave oven sitting on a table) is a 'replicator. Yuri will make sure that you get one and she'll show ya how to work it. Basically it gets ya whatever ya tell it to get ya just like a magic genie. After lunch Yuri's giving you the grand tour of my 'Angel 2' and then she'll get ya all kitted out in the very latest of our 3WA fashions, Ensign. You must be roasting in that outfit ya got on, girl! When you first came aboard were ya really wearing a scarf, a cravat and a tie? (Nami nodded) 'Dressed to the nines'. I believe that's how Yuri described you. Hmnn. Now oro (what) do I do with you? Where do we billet ya? I know! I'll put ya in with Faye and Kagome. They're old hands so they'll be able to show ya the ropes and help ya with your new assignment. By the way I 'do' want that passenger roster before noon tomorrow. Faye's a 'cowgirl' er that's a space travelling bounty hunter. The 'Blonde Bomber' babe (Minnie Mae 'Kitten' Hopkins) and 'Cat' (Rally) Vincent are 'cowgirls' as well. Kagome is a fifteen year old schoolgirl who travels back and forth between 16th and 21st Century Japan through an old well. That's back on Terra of course. And--oh here comes the Vac er Yuri now. I'll assign you your new duties after liftoff tomorrow. She's all yours, Yuri. I'm gonna try and relay those two medico idiots again! See ya at 1300 (1 PM). Don't forget that we're lunching with Blackfire so that means Starfire and Arkie too. Ta ta, Nami." said Kei.
"She sure can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, Nami. Shall we go to your new room? Bring all that junk that Kei just gave ya. We might as well get your new wardrobe squared away first. Then you can join us for a nice long leisurely lunch." said a beaming Yuri.
"Commander? Why is that part of the console all locked up?" asked Nami innocently.
Yuri hesitated. "Well ya see-" she hesitated again. Kei did order me to brief Nami thoroughly so--" she mused.
"That's the controls for the supersonic ion plasmatic release cannon. We call it the 'God Gun'. It takes four of us with four different code sequences to unlock it. It is fired by both a hand control lever and a foot control pedal. There and there. The cannon itself is down--" began Yuri.
"On Deck Six. I know. Mae told me all about that old thing." said Nami. Yuri looked annoyed.
"Did she also tell ya that it's a good half mile long, has its very own ion field generator and its barrel runs the entire length of this ship? It is not 'on' Deck Six. It 'is' Deck Six. It is accessible solely by a spiral stairwell from Deck Five. The lifts have no access to it at all nor can it be reached from Deck Seven. We fire that thing 'only' in extreme circumstances and to date it's only been used half a dozen times. It is deadly, Honey. On its very lowest setting it can vaporize 'Luna', your Terran moon. OK. Let's take this (Yuri hefted the replicator) and go down to your new room. We've got you on Deck Four. You'll have your own room but you'll be sharing the suite with Kagome Higurashi and Faye Valentine. (Yuri told the lift "Deck 4-Aft" and they shot downwards five levels in less than thirty seconds. Yuri stopped at a portal and tapped in her override vidkey passcode. Then she turned to Nami) I need a vidcode word for you. Something really easy to remember. This code will allow you to get in and out of your suite. It can be a word, a phrase, a name, a book title, anything at all." said Yuri.
"Make it 'Pirate Princess'- my ship back home." replied Nami and Yuri tapped it in.
One more now. You will need a one word security code. This one's oral though. You don't input it, ya say it." said Yuri.
"That's easy. 'Onepiece' will do me nicely. That's the treasure I'm hunting for back home." answered Nami and Yuri keyed it into the door release panel switchboard.
"OK. Say it now please." she ordered.
"Onepiece." said Nami and the door swished aside. "Jesus H Christ! Gimme some kinda warning next time! I may have to change my undies if that happens again!" complained a startled pirate lass. The door swished closed behind them when Yuri hit the door release.
"That reminds me. Time for you to strip." she said. Nami began peeling off layer after layer after layer until at last she stood there in a bright orange bikini swimsuit with a 'grouch bag' type fanny pouch hanging from her waistband. Nami glanced around and frowned.
"Where's the tape measure? Am I on camera?" she demanded.
"Yeah you're being photo- vidded for your new ID vid docs but don't worry because our editing will put 'fuku' er clothing on you in the photo. Just stand still so 'CC' can take your measurements." giggled Yuri.
"Your measurements have been recorded and logged into my data banks, Miss Richards and I must say that I very much prefer you in orange rather than green. Ah! I see today that you're wearing black and white ones with little pink teddy bears on them. Very becoming, darling Nami. I'm gone. Bye bye, good buddy." said 'CC' in a jovial tone.
"Behave yourself 'CC' and that's an order. The Ensign does not appreciate your humour." commanded Yuri. 'CC' apologized and split.
"Ensign? That's the third time someone has called me that. I'm a pirate so where do you get Ensign from that, ma'am?" asked Nami who was starting to shiver. Yuri was speedily repping up a complete wardrobe for her.
"You 're part of our crew now, Nami. You're in the3WA and you are a temporary tro-con, a trouble consultant trainee so that makes you an Ensign. You just better hope that Kei doesn't decide to stick you with KP duty. Incidentally, oro (what) exactly is your job anyway? Back on Terra I mean. (Nami shivered again and began coughing) Sorry. You can get dressed again but why all those clothes? Why all those layers?" asked a curious Yuri while she repped up java for them both.
"It's damned cold out on the ocean for one thing. Sometimes I need to change my appearance in a hurry so I wear two, three or even four changes of clothes over my swimsuit which is really another layer and can be used as a clothing change to boot." explained Nami.
"OK. 'CC', raise this room's heati level to forty-three degrees Kelvin please. That's seventy-five degrees Fahrenheit. So oro was your job, kid?" asked Yuri.
"I'm a navigator." replied Nami, cinching her pink cravat and binding her black 'do-rag' kerchief around her orange ringlets. "Well? Am I once again presentable?" she asked.
"Yeah. Bring your PDO and come over here." replied Yuri.
"Tap in the words 'Passenger Manifest' and hit the star vidkey there. That brings up the whole list of whom is on our our three ships- the 'Angels 1, 2 and 3'. Understand? (Nami nodded) You'll notice that each name has either 'LA1', 'LA2' or 'LA3' to the left of it. See? (Again she nodded) They stand for 'Lovely Angel 1' and so forth. OK? Great. When someone comes to you and tells you that they are going to travel with us you simply change the 'LA' number to a '2' like so. Then you tap in 'LA2', hit star and voila! the list for our ship appears. Now just make sure that the person's name appears on that list. That's all there is to it, kid. Don't worry about overbooking us. Each ship can hold well over two hundred passengers in addition to crews and personnel. I think Charlie sad our capacity was a thousand and a half or something like that. There's probably only going to be a few who decide to fly with us since we're bound for 'Seto Kaiba' and 'Paladin' before we head back home. Why don't you have a rest before lunch. There's all your stuff along with all the goodies Kei gave ya. Repping's really easy. Look here. You just turn it on. Then you state your needs or wants clearly and concisely like this. 'Coffee. Regular. Hot. Pastries. Danish. Assorted.' Here. (Yuri placed a tray of Danishes and a mug of steaming java in front of Nami) See how easy that was? Nothing to it. Why it took Kei two years to get the hang of it is completely beyond me, kid. That middle room there is yours. I put your new wardrobe in there on the bunk. I even repped up some jammies for ya. Lunch is at 1300 er one o'clock PM. Do you remember how to get to our dining hall from here? (Nami nodded while she munched her Danish and sipped her java) Fine. I gotta go but I will see ya later. Bye." called Yuri and she dashed for the lift.
"C'mon in. It's open." called Kei when her portal klaxon chimed at her quarters. Yuri came in and went right to the fridge. She popped a straw into a juice box and took a healthy pull at it.
"Mmn. That's good. Did you ever get that relay call through? (Kei nodded and took a swig of 'Jameson's') So? Oro's (What's) the verdict?" asked Yuri perching on a stool in the kitchenette.
"After we get rid of the JB pack and his wings we gotta go to 'Gallifrey' and see those two 'Guardians' again and I already know oro (what) they're gonna say. We'll have to fire 'it' again! Ya get Nami all set up, settled in, kitted out and stuff? ("Yeah and she'll have that list done for ya by ashita (tomorrow). OK?" was Yuri's answer) Oro (What) the jigoku (Hell) are we gonna do with her, kiddo?" asked Kei.
"She's a navigator, Kei. Nyssa and Mar are going on the other ships, aren't they so maybe Zoe can use her as an assistant." suggested Yuri.
"Yeah she might just be of some use after all. I've got something special for Zoe to do so maybe just for this run--" stalled Kei.
"Nami can be our navvie! Hurray!" shouted Yuri excitedly.
"I suppose I'm gonna have to relegate her KP detail to somebody else. Nami probably wouldn't like KP duty anyway. OK. She's our new navvie, kid. Get those two lazy 'Earth Alliance' kids of Nat's (Lieutenant Naturle Badgiruel formerly exec and weapons officer of the 'Archangel' gunship in Cosmic Year 30. She is now married to Lieutenant Trace Edwards of the 'Kaguran Air and Space Patrol' and she along with Ensigns Flay Allster and Cagalli Yula Athna have decided to remain with the 3WA in the 23rd Century instead of returning to a war torn Terra in an alternate time line. Here aboard the 'Angel 2' Nat was weapons officer while her 'kids' were gunner trainees and her hubby was the ship's cook along with Granny Rockabell, Zoe and Leila who was Doctor 4's companion) to do Nami's roster work instead. Upload all of the navigations crap to Nami's PDO and then give her the grand tour. Finish up on the bridge and show her the nav room last. After all she'll be practically living in there for the next couple of weeks whether she likes it or not." ordered the Boss.
Yuri finished her juice and sighed. "Fine. I'll give her the tour after lunch. I might as well take the 'Icy Six' along too. I'll tell her oro (what) her new duties are going to be. I don't think she's gonna like it though." said Yuri.
"When you tell Miss Richards oro (what) the Hell the alternative is I'm sorta sure she'll decide to be our new navvie. Send Gene and Han down here to see me if ya run into 'em. They're gonna be just thrilled to death that we're going a few million lightyears away from home I'm sure." giggled Kei impishly.
"You sure can be a real son of a bit-- er I mean a real pain in the ass sometimes, Boss but ya already knew that, didn'ty ya?" complained Yuri.
"Don't you forget who's in charge around here, Commander. Now scat." replied the redhead. Yuri tossed her juice box down the recycle chute and waved to her superior on her way out. She stopped by Flay and Caggie's digs on her way to see Nami. The two gunner trainees were not amused when Yuri informed them that they were the new 'Angel 2' reservations clerks!
However, they did pull on anoraks and agree to accompany their commander. Why the parkas? Below decks were damned cold as Flay and Caggie knew from experience! Nami didn't know that- yet!
"Hi Nami. You've been reprieved. The Boss has decided to have Flay and Cagalli here do the 'Angel 2' roster. She er that is well she has a slightly different job for you. (Nami made a wry face) Don't worry, it ain't clean up work nor is it KP detail. Moving on now (Nami flopped onto a reclining chair when she realized Yuri was saving her new job as a 'surprise' until later) after lunch we're all going on a tour of the ship. Won't that be fun, Nami? (Nami frowned and lit a cigarette) OK we'll go right after lunch." said Yuri brightly.
"All who exactly?" demanded Flaysie suspiciously. "Ma'am." she added after Cagalli frowned at her.
"The two of you, me and Nami, Kouga, InuYasha, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Kirara (Key-la-la), Shippou and the 'Icy Six' guys, those ice road trucker dudes from Terra. And er Nami? You'll need to wear something warmer than a kimono and your jammies." chuckled Yuri.
"A lot warmer." agreed Cagalli.
"A whole Helluva lot warmer!" added Flaysie.
"Yeah! It's Fxxxing cold below decks, Nami!" advised Caggie.
Nami sat up so abruptly in her chair that she almost dropped her smoke. "Below decks? How many damned decks does this tub have anyway, guys?" demanded Nami. She stood up and slid her pajama bottoms to the floor.
Flaysie giggled when she saw the cute little teddy bear mini bikini briefs that Nami had on underneath- no swimsuit today it seemed.
Cagalli punched Flay's arm and then began counting on her fingers. "Fourteen, I think. Right, Commander Donovan?" she asked.
Flaysie was also trying to count the decks on her fingers. "Ya sure about that? I thought it was only seven or eight at the most, Caggie." she said.
"Fourteen is correct, Cag. Nine above surface decks and five subsurface below deck ones. They are the frigid zone levels hence the winter gear in summer. You'll need a warm hat, heavy coat or parka with a hood, deck boots and heavy gloves or mittens and heavy ski pants and a sweater or sweatshirt, Nami. And goggles might be a good idea if the heating system's out again down there. (Yuri idly glanced at her wristchromo and went ballistic) Shit! It's almost 1300 man! I gotta scoot or I'm gonna be late darn it! C'mon kids. See you in the dining hall later, Nami. Leave the winter stuff you decide to wear on your bunk. We'll rendezvous at 1430 er half past two o'clock this afternoon in the rec room for our excursion. Don't be too long, Nami. Ja ne er see you later, girl." said Yuri who was shoving the two gunners' mates out the door. Nami promised to be as quick as she could and began dressing.
First a tee shirt, then a striped polo shirt went on followed by a black turtleneck and black jeans. Then Nami sat down to pull on grey socks and short black boots. Finally she yanked on her black blazer and cinched a pink cravat around her throat. Next she bound a black 'do rag' pirate kerchief around her orange mane. She shoved all of her new toys into her pockets and strapped on her dagger. Then she spun her brand new Mark XII into its shoulder holster and reluctantly stowed her twin Beretta automatics away in a drawer.
Next she threw heavy gloves, fur cap and a hooded white anorak with a heavy scarf on her bunk. She had already loaded the bed up with dark grey ski pants, two green turtlenecks, a 3WA sweatshirt, long white underwear shirt and pants, heavy socks and snow goggles. As an afterthought she added a pair of heavy white deck boots to the pile. Nami slipped on her pink tinted sunglasses and she was ready to go.
A short lift drop brought the pirate lassie to Level Two where she entered the rec room, waved to all hands and continued through to the adjoining dining hall.
"Hey! Over here, Richards!" screamed Flaysie Allster. Her tablemates were Yuri, Cagalli Yula Athna, the doggie hanyou InuYasha, the wolf youkai Kouga, Kagome Higurashi, that demon slayer girl Sango, the unusual monk Miroku, and a half dozen very weird looking guys wearing identical gold/wine coloured flightsuits. A small white kitten was perched on Sango's lap and purred quietly. Nami wondered where Kirara was and decided that Sango had two kitties instead of just one like she'd assumed.
"Hullo Nami. I think you know everyone here. Oh! Allow me to introduce you to the 'Icy Six' as we've dubbed them. They're ancient 'truckers' from Terra and they drive on the Arctic ice roads there. Sadly they are displaced persons same as you, kiddo. From left to right we have Alex the 'Minister of the Ice Roads', Hugh the 'Polar Bear', Rick, Drew, Bear and Eric our 'Ladies' Man' ice roader. (Yuri raised her voice a bit) Let's have some service over here please, Peri." said the violet-maned vixen and Peri Brown jetted over to take their orders.
"The usual for us, girlie." said Hugh the 'Polar Bear' and Alex frowned at him. "Sorry ma'am. Just bring us what we always get, please." he apologized.
"I know your brood all wants the usual for luncheon, Commander. Oro (What) about you er Nami, isn't it?" asked Peri, fingers poised over her PDO vidkey pad.
Nami glanced around in amazement. "No menus, Miss?" she asked and everyone laughed out loud.
"Nope. No menus. You name it and we rep it for ya so oro's (what's) your pleasure, Pirate Girl?" replied the pert Floridian waitress.
Nami thought for a moment. Then she began ticking things off on her gloved fingers. "Quiche, potato 'roesti' (rest-ee), creamed peas, beer and a chocolate souffle for dessert. Think ya can handle that, Miss Peri?" joked Nami Richards. A bored Peri nodded abstractedly.
"You got it, kiddo. Be right back. Get that hand off of my ass, monk or I'll break it off dammit!" replied Peri and she jetted off on her repulsor lift jet boots. When she returned she hod a fully laden antigrav trolley as did her helpers 'Kitten' (Mae) and 'Cat' (Rally).
"Here we go. Yours and yours. (She had soon distributed plates, dishes, cups, mugs, bowls and glasses to everyone at the table except the wolf and dog) 'Kitten's got Kouga's stuff and 'Cat's got Dog Boy's! Gad! The pair of ya eat like Fxxxing Saiyaans! Ready? 'Kitten'? 'Cat'? C'mon. We have got more hungry customers waiting for us! Bye gang." said Peri and the trio jetted off again.
"What the Hell's a 'Saiyaan'?" asked Nami between bites of her most excellent lunch.
"Pigs. Just like them, pretty lady." answered Eric with a twinkle in his deep azure aizu (eyes).
"Down boy. I heard that gal pulled a gat (old Terran term for a firearm or gun) on Reds herself." muttered Bear and Eric blanched white.
"I truly meant no offense, ma'am. My apologies, Miss Nami." said Eric hurriedly.
"Either 'Wonderland' or 'Oz'. It's gotta be one or the other of them. Gotta be." she mumbled and swallowed the last of her beer.
"Mind if I smoke?" she asked. Receiving no replies she shrugged and fired up a cigarette. The klaxon on the wall chromo bonged 1400 hours and Yuri got up.
"Two o'clock. OK. We meet up in half an hour at 1430, that's half past two, at the bar next door. Remember to dress warm and er don't forget to wear your snuggies." chortled Yuri ad left to get ready for the trip.
By 1430 everyone who was going was gathered around the bar nursing their drinks when Nami finally strolled in.
"Finally. We'll begin our tour at Sub-Level One and finish up on the Command Deck- Surface Level Nine. Everybody follow me." said Yuri and she led the way to the lift banks.
The tour began and everyone 'oohed' and 'ahhed' at all the crap which Yuri had seen so many times she was sick to death of looking at it. At last a long hour and a half later the exhausted exec threw open the bridge portals and pointed out the pilot and co-pilot stations, the gunners and weapons stations, the locked and sealed controls for using 'IT' and lastly the communications and relay stations. Nami yawned and glanced at her wristchromo. Yuri threw open an inner door to an adjoining room.
We all remember I trust that the 'Angels' unlike most starships had a 'double bridge' meaning that there was a separate room for scanning and navving?
"And last but not least my tomos (friends) we have the navigations and scanning room the 'nav room' for short. This room houses the navigations and scanning stations. This is where we keep the navigational star and planetary vidcharts as well as the 'Galactic Compendium' listing all known worlds, moons, asteroids and the like. This part of the room is where the 'navvie' coordinates with the pilot and determines which darn way the ship travels. The opposite end up or down there is our scanning station where the scanning officer keeps a watchful aizu (eye) peeled for anything out of the ordinary such as runaway asteroids, enemy starcrafts, stars going supernova, exploding gravity wells and minor stuff like that. (Her party all looked like they were about to lose their lunches) That's about it, I believe. I think I've covered everything, haven't I? Arigatou (Thank you) all for coming and oh hai (yeah, yes) say konnichi wa (hello or hi or good afternoon) to our brand spanking new 'navvie'- Ensign Nami Richards of Terra. Any questions?" said Yuri thinking she had handled this tricky task as smooth as 'Jagardanian' silk.
"What in the Fxxxing Hell did you just say, Vacuumhead? I can't navigate a tub this size! I'm a seaman, a sailor not a Fxxxing astronaut ya know!" squealed a very upset Nami Richards.
Six levels below them Gene Starwind and Han Solo were not very happy campers either. "Oro (What) did you just say, Reds? We are going to 'Seto Kaiba' first, then to 'Paladin' and then all the way to frigging 'Gallifrey' before we head for home sweet home? Are you nuts?" shouted Gene the roguish master of the 'Outlaw Star'.
"Look here, Reds Honey! I was sorta lookin' forward to seeing my Leia again. (Princess Leia Organa Skywalker Solo was now Han's wife as well as the newly elected leader of the 'New Republic of Corestan' formerly the 'Galactic Empire') Why can't ya just pick another poor sap to be your co-pilot if ya wanna go all the way to 'Timelordsville'?" drawled Han the ex-pirate and hero of the rebel alliance.
"Stow it dammit! You two are my pilot and my co-pilot whether ya like it or not and that is final! I am your commanding officer ya know! Now sit your asses down and shut the Hell up dammit! That's an order me boyos!" roared the redhead rising to her feet. She almost reached to Han's chin (without heels) and she was barely level with Gene's shoulder. Despite their size differences they both knew better than to argue with the 'Red Marshall' as Gene had dubbed the red-headed firebrand Hellcat.
"OK. You win, Reds. Who's gonna navigate for us? I've only been to the Docs' world once and Han here's got no damned idea how to get there. Well?" inquired Starwind.
Kei bit her lip and hesitated. "Mar?" ventured Solo.
"Nai (No)." said Kei.
"That tow-headed Trakken kid Nyssa?" tried Starwind.
"Nope. Not her either, Gene." replied Kei and she began to sweat.
"Zoe?" demanded Han Solo.
"Wrong again, pirate. Close but no cigar. It is a pirate though." said the redhead.
"Not Emma? (Emma 'Queen' Emeraldas was Jon Harlock's niece and master of her own starcraft, the 'Emerald Queen') She can't navigate worth a shit!" yelled Gene.
The Boss shook her kawaii (lovely) head and suddenly a tough as nails and devil may care soldier of fortune Han Solo went as white as Nami's newly repped Arctic boots!
"Oh Nai (No)!! You cannot possibly mean that idiot broad that Blue just 'found' the other night? Nami Richards! She's a seafaring Terran navvie for Christ's sake! She probably won't do it for ya anyway if she's got any Fxxxing sense at all in that orange head of hers!" snarled Han and Marshall Kei O'Halloran exploded.
"She had shimatta (damned) well better do it or she'll be swabbing out the shithouses as the new Fxxxing P.L.O. (Permanent Latrine Orderly which was the job currently co-held by the two 'Jersey Jerks' Jamie Wilson and Goat Smith) for the rest of her stay in this time era! She is your new 'navvie' so deal with it! Yuri's giving her a crash course in navigating right now as we speak. I hear tell she's a whiz at navving back on Terra so she'll do just fine dammit. Now get upstairs and run a complete diagnostics check on all of our systems. Use Mugghi and Nammo to help ya with it. Now both of ya- scat!" growled the angry redhead.
Gene and Han decided that discretion was the better part of valour and beat a hasty retreat to the bridge where they arrived just in time to catch Yuri before she hit the deck after running afoul of Nami's haymaker left and right cross to the chin!
"You ain't allowed to belt your superiors, Ensign! You'll get your ass courts-martialed and thrown in the brig!" yelled Gene.
"I won't do it! Dammit all to Hell! I just cannot navigate a starship! Can't you idiotic morons get that fact through your thick Fxxxing skulls? Read my lips. I will not do it! So there!" shrieked a wildcat that looked a Helluva lot like Ensign Nami Richards. She seated herself in the pilot's chair, crossed her legs and folded her arms across her chest.
"Then I sure as Hell hope that ya like scrubbing out the bogs, Richards because that is exactly oro (what) you will be doing until you go back home to Terra. Reds just said so." roared Starwind.
"So there Missy." added Han and he sat down in his co-pilot's chair, folded his arms and crossed his legs.
"She- she- she wouldn't dare!" cried Nami.
"You er dunno our Reds like we do, Honey. She means oro (what) she says, Ensign Richards." drawled Solo.
"And she'd 'dare', Missy. Now get your ass up outta there. You are sittin' in my chair." said Gene.
END of Ch 31. Ch 32 soon. Getting interesting eh? Wonder how our heroine's gonna get outta this one? Read on and r/r/s away as always. Have a wunnerful day and sfn/sys/jm/Kami bless you all for your interest and assistance. Hooble-toodle-doo! Toodles tomos watashi-K&K
PS- I really do appreciate all your loyalty and support over the years my tomos watashi all! And you can take that to the bank folks!-K&K
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