25 January 2009

The Latest Angel Wings-Chapter 30 As Promised



ANGEL WINGS



DISCLAIMER: OK 'Black Widow', it's all yours. First I wanna thank Mr T for the use of his Angels and stuff. Then I wanna thank everyone else who has been allowing us to use their creations here like Thom Beers for the use of his ice road truckers Hugh, Drew, Rick, Eric, Alex and Bear. I took the liberty of naming the 3WA academy in Furool City on Shimougou after Mr Haruka Takachiho in honour of his creations- the Angels. How was that, Yuri? Great, kiddo. Oh hai it sure was, Kei! Now since we left ya up in the air last time let's get to Ch 30 without any further meandering, shall we? Can the Ninjas and soul reapers and vampires really save the yobi er day? Stay tuned and find out. Here they come!



CHAPTER 30



'Talk or Die!' or 'Blue Meets A Pirate From the Past'



"Everything OK, Boss? You sent us the signal and here we are. C'mon kid, wake up." said Kakashi Sensei, holding a small vial of amyl nitrite under her nostrils. Kei came to suddenly and started coughing.



"Naruto. Water." he commanded the Ninja teen handed him his canteen. "Here, Boss. Now sip it slowly. You may have a concussion. Sakura, please check her out." added the masked Jonin. Sakura felt Kei's head and the redhead winced in pain.



"Sorry ma'am but you do have a nasty bump there. (She glanced around the hallway and frowned.) Oro the Hell did you hit anyway? There's absolutely nothing here!" said the Ninja nurse.



"Dammit to Hell! Some baka idiot has fused all the doos shut, Kashi!" yelped Rukia.
"Shut up before someone hears us, Rukia!" cautioned Neji.
Kei sat up and handed Naruto back his canteen. Then she waved off Sakura's attempted ministrations.



"Arigatou kid but I'm OK now. Shit! I must've crashed headfirst into Hugh's antique rig! Sorry Rukia but I'm the baka idiot that fused all the doors shut. In hindsight not exactly a really great idea I admit. Kashi? Johnny Berringer's gunsels up here are all trapped in either the bridge or his ready room forward. They're sealed in as well. Can you guys get in there somehow?" asked the Boss.



He smiled. "Sure Angel Lady but I'll have to blow away half of the damned wall to do it. That OK with you?" asked the Ninja Sensei.



Kei shrugged her shoulders. "Sure. It ain't our ship so oro the Fxxx? I don't care. Just go ahead and do your thing, boyo." replied Kei.



Vickie walked over and clamped a plain looking bracelet on Kei's wrist. "The vac- er I mean Commander Donovan told me to make darned sure I put that thing on your wrist first thing when we got to you, Boss." said 'Police Girl' but she looked confused.



"And why she wanted'Police Girl' to deliver jewelry to you on a mission is truly beyond me." said a bored looking Alucard who was loading a long barrelled six shot pistol which would've made 'Dirty Harry' Callahan go green with envy.



Kei smiled. "Watch carefully." she instructed and tapped the bracelet. For a very brief nano-second the kawaii redhead went totally au natural and then a red/black no nonsense 3WA winter uniform complete with battle armour and weapons materialized on her person. On either hip suddenly appeared a holstered Mark XIII ion cannon while her gloved hands were now cradling a plasma rifle.



"A 'morphing' bracelet. Yuri probably figured that they'd take mine away from me along with the rest of my jewelry arsenol- which they did. Now if you will be so kind as to do the honours, Sensei I think it's high time that we kick some ass, don't you?" said Kei grimly.



"If they did take away all of your goodies then how'd ya manage to Fxxx up all of the doors?" asked Hugh the Polar Bear who had just arrived and was feeling around for his truck.



"The morons allowed me to keep my headband and I had a minilaser sword hilt hidden underneath it. Here. Try these, Hugh. They'll help ya to find your rig." replied Kei and she tossed the ice roader a pair of multi-coloured specs not unlike ancient Terran 3-D glasses.



"There she is! Hello there girl. Did ya miss me? (He turned to Kei) I'm driving the getaway car eh, Boss? (She nodded) Then I'll just fire up the old 'Crow's Nest' so we can turn and burn, ma'am! Give 'em Hell, Reds!" hooted a jovial Polar Bear as he climbed up and into empty air!



Meanwhile up the hall Kakashi made a few hand gestures and suddenly the tall Jonin Ninja was holding a glowing green energy globule between the palms of both of his hands.



"Lightning blade jutsu! HA!" he cried and pressed the orb into and through the bridge portals which suddenly disappeared along with the ready room door and half of the bulkhead wall in a deafening explosion. A quick chop rom Neji disarmed Lex Luthor while a spinning pivot kick from Nurse Sakura laid Shade down for the count.



ZANG! A bolt from Kei's plasma rifle stung Komica's hand and he dropped the 'kanai' (stone dagger) he'd been in the act of throwing at Kakashi Sensei.



WHAM! A hard right from Rukia and Orochimaru was out cold.



"Going somewhere, were we?" asked a grinning Ryuuk scaring the Hell out of poor John Berringer who unloaded a full magazine of disruptor ionic energy bolts into the horrifying 'Shinigami' spectre.



He stood there petrified until- 'Hey Johnny!" He turned and POW! Leona's left cross sent him reeling into the outstretched arms of Raven, Blackfire and Hinata.



"Forgive me please, sir." said Hinata Hyuga as the touch of her 'gentle fist' jutsu sent the gang leader into Dreamland.



"NAI!" yelled Kei as she launched heself between Hinata and Berringer just an instnt too late.



"Oro is wrong, ma'am?" asked the young Genin Ninja girl in a soft timid childish voice.



"I needed him to call off his wolves, Sweetie! Now oro the Hell are we gonna do?" she yelled.
Then they all blinked and let out a collective "Fucking Ass!"



Attention all hands! This is John Berringer speaking. I hereby order you to lay down your arms and surrender. That is an order. It is all over and unfortunately we have lost. Tat is all." said Ryuuk who was speaking into a PA mike held by Raven while he hovered over the console and the grinning death god sounded exactly like John Berringer!



"Neji! Take the team and sweep the decks! Round 'em up and lock 'em in the brig! (Kakashi grabbedKomica) Where's the brig, Four Aizu (Eyes)? ("Deck Five curse you t Hell!" was the Jonin's answer) You heard, Neji? (He nodded) Then why are you guys still here? Your orders, Madam Reds?" asked the Sensei.



Kei raised her voice. "Mugghi? Fly this tub to the airfield where our other 'Angels' are docked. Alucard? Tell Hugh that we won't be needing his rig aftr all and to gt his ass over here to the bridge stat! Raven! Find 'Black Widow' and bring her directly to me. I'll be in oro's left of John's ready room. Well done guys but we do have one more little erand to run before we turn and burn for home. After our prisoners have been safely stowed away post a guard. Five should do it. We'll convene in the rec room in an hour. Dismissed." said the Boss and the bridge quickly emptied out.



Neji and Hinata's 'Bayakugan Aizu' (Far seeng eyes) located all of Johnny's goons and with everyone's help they had all been secured in the brig.



"Hold it sister! Neji! Ain't she the spider lady creep that Auntie Kei wants upstairs?" asked Ten Ten.


The Ninja maiden had been beamed over from the 'Angel 3' to help out with the roundup. She had just grabbed 'Black Widow' by her collar and now she shoved her towards Hinata's half-brother who caught the surly haridan bitch before slowly nodding to his compadre.



"Yeah, ya got that right, Ten Ten. She sure the Hell is. Good work. Take her up to the Boss Lady in the ready room. Top floor behind the bridge forward. Got that?" replied Neji.



"Watch her, Tennie! She's real tricky! Better make ure ya search her good, Tennie!" advised Leona.



Ten Ten nodded while she was relieving the Widow of her visible weapons. Then the shorter Ninja girl stuck a strange looking piece of paperor parchment covered with runes (like a sutra or a mantra) onto her prisoner's forehead.



"That is a 'paper bomb', ma'am and all I need to do to detonate it is to snap my fingers. We are going into the Ladies' restrooms now and I am going to search you for concealed weapons- thoroughly. Get moving. No tricks or else." whispered the young Genin Ninja who had not forgotten the harsh indignities suffered by Auntie Yuri and the 'Blonde Bomber' at this evil female's hands. Then she feigned a finger snap. The Widow scowled but complied.



Once inside the restroom Ten Ten sealed the door and pointed her plasma rifle at her charge.




"I was told not to take any chances with you, Madam. Gomen (I'm sorry) but am going to need to have you remove everything that you are wearing and put on one of those kimonos hanging up over there. (The Widow snarled and Ten Ten cocked her weapon. The older henchwoman removed her outer and most of her inner garments until she stood before the younger girl wearing only a brassiere and pantyhose. Then she took down a kimono.) Hey! I said everything off and I damned well meant it, lady! (The Widow lunged and ZANG! a plasma bolt stung her right temple.) I am a crack shot, Madam and I missed on purpose! The next time I will aim further left and I won't miss! Now get 'em off! (Her prisoner yanked off her bra and slid her minibikini underbriefs down and off before pulling on the kimono and belting its obi.) OK. Now put these on and no tricks. (Ten Ten tossed her a pair of forced beam handcuffs. The Widow looked glowing daggers at the kid but she did as she'd been told.) Very good. Face the wall and assume the position. (The Widow angrily did so and slung the rifle across her back. Then she drew her Mark XIII and shoved it into the Widow's spine. Keeping the Mark rammed into the Widow's back she frisked and patted down the older woman very carefully. After that she went through her fuku (clothing) and other belongings using the same amount of care. Her search turned up nothing on the Widow, however, her fanny pouch held a small treasuretrove of goodies including a smallish derringer, a few grenades, some gas vials and a laser blade. Her pockets were stuffed to overflowing with poisons, bombs, guns and blades all of which went down the recycle chute along with every stitch of the fuku. Ten Ten rememberedeverything that Auntie Yuri and Auntie Mae had told her about their treatment and Ten Ten wa not sorry for the Widow not one eensy teensy weensy little bit nosiree!) No shoes for you! You took away Auntie Yuri's and poor Auntie Mae's so you cannot have yours back either! (Ten Ten tossed the Widow's boots down the recycle chute along with their concealed gas bombs and toe blades.) Now march! (Ten Ten reached behind her and released the door. Then she prodded the Widow out through the door, down the hallway and into the lift.) Bridge. The lift carried them swiftly to the very apex of the ship and deposited them outside of the bridge entrance. Ten Ten force marched her charge down the rear hallway to the ready room and tapped on the wall. At a curt "Come in." she ushered her prisoner into the room and slammed her onto a chair.) The 'Black Widow', Boss Lady as ordered, ma'am." said Ten Ten.



Kei looked up from her seat at John's desk and smiled. "Good work, kiddo. Leave us. You can go." commanded the redhead. Ten Ten reholstered her Mark nd saluted. Then she stepped forward and bent to remove her'bomb' from the Widow's forehead. "Leave that thing right where it is, Trainee. Dismissed!" barked Kei.



"That 'thing' as you call it is a bomb and the slightest sound will trigger it, Boss so be real careful, ma'am." warned Ten Ten and she left for the rec room.



Kei grinned. "So just the snap of my fingers can send your sorry ass to 'Heglos' eh?" chuckled the redhead.



"Huh?" said the confused Widow and Kei explained that here on her home world of 'Workoh' the inhabitants' name for the region of the afterlife was called 'Heglos' and then the fiery Amazon stood up and towered over the cringing frightened woman. She placed a fingertip on the bomb ever so gently.



"Boom. You're dead, baby. Now answer me this. Does our Johnny Boy have anything ele in mind besides using those 'systemic inhibitors' to gain control of our ships and sonic cannons? (The 'Black Widow' shook her head.) Dd he or 'Ghostie' have any booby traps set up aboard this tub?" demanded Kei.



"How the Sam Hell should I know? Ask Lex! He was John's fair-haired boy, not me!" snapped the Widow. Kei nodded, bent forward and carefully peeled the 'paper bomb' off the woman' forehead.



"I believe ya, kiddo." she breathed and then odered up a detail to escort her to the brig.




"Put her into some fuku and make sure that someone keeps a wary aizu on her ass at all times. If she causes us any trouble, ship her ass over to the brig on my ship- the 'Angel 2'! (Several key crew personnel had beamed over from the 'Angel 3' to assist the teams on 'Starcrusher'.)




"Blue, run a deck by deck 'Tach scan' (Tachyion particle beam scan) for booby traps, mines and bombs. Have Revy Roberts paged and sent up here stat. Ya got all that OK?" snapped Kei. Rukia nodded and saluted before she and her security detail team escorted the 'Black Widow' to her brig cell. Then the redhead trilled over to the bridge.



"Bluesummers here. Oro?" trilled Legato.



"Fly this tub over to my 'Angel 2' and dock it. Think we'll have enough room for the 'Angels 1 and 3' down in our 'Angel 2's bays, Blue?" trilled the Boss Lady.



"Nai! No way in the nine Hells of Dante's Inferno are ya gonna squeeze those two 'Leviathans' in with 'Starcrusher' and all of the other transports and the rest of that junk ya got down there already, Boss. Gomen er excuse me for a sec onegai (please). There. Nice and smooth. OK, ma'am. We are now docked. Orders?" trilled her BetaZoid pilot.



"I will be briefing all hands ashita (tomorrow) at eleven hundred hours (11 AM) in the 'Angel 2's rec room. Let's just try and have a quiet dinner (on one of Kei's ships? Dream on baby!) and get in a good night's sleep eh? I'm bushed. Kei out." she trilled.



Legato powered down the crime lord's huge vessel before he took the 'Angel 2's express lift up to the bridge where he powered down any unnecessary systems. Next he took a skysled and did the same thing to the 'Angels 1 and 3' before jetting back over to the 'Angel 2' for his dinner and then some very much needed sleep.




The repast was excellent tonight (Beef Wellington with all the trimmings and chocolate eclairs for dessert no less!) and Legato had three helpings of it. He washed it all down with a superb Chablis wine of local vintage.




Saying his good nights to all hands and feeling a mite light-headed and just a wee bit tipsy Blue stumbled as he exited the lift and would surely have fallen had he not been steadied by the strong arms of a very tall redhead who assisted him to his quarters.




"Arigatou for that assist, Boss Lady. I guess I just cannot handle my liquor like you Gaels can, Kei." he said.



"I ain't nobody's 'boss', my tomo. Where the Hell am I anyhow, sir? One minute I was tucked away in my cramped little cabin going over some navigational charts for oro just 'might' be 'Onepiece' and the next thing I know I'm bumping into you in this damned hallway! By the way my name's Richards, sir. Nami Richards. And you are Mister--" asked his new companion offering him her hand in greeting.



Legato Aloysius Bluesummers sobered up prett damned quick and did a double take!
"Y-Y-You a-a-aren't O'Halloran, are ya?" he replied nervously and for the first time he got a really good closeup look at his rescuer- a newcomer!



Taller than Boss Lady Kei by almost a third of a meter and with a mop of hair more orange (although nowhere near as orange as Ichigo Kurosaki's!) than red she towered over the BetaZoid captain by a good quarter of a meter.




Her costume although strange was definitely not a uniform or at least if it was it was like no uniform Legato had ever seen before anyway. From the black do-rag kerchief atop her head to the toes of her highly polished black boots she looked every inch like an 18th Century Terran pirate- an honest to Kami buccaneer!



Her soft green aizu blinked at him from behind old-fashioned red tinted eyeglasses or spectacles. She wore a black blazer trimmed with gold piping over a deep aoishi turtleneck set off by a pink cravat-like scarf. A striped tie peeked from beneath the cravat and it was attached to a stiff white shirt. Black gloves encased her hands and the face of a wristchromo (or were they still called wrist watches in her era?) peeped out from her left cuff.




A long black ankle length coat was draped across her slender frame while a very long white scarf trailed to the floor and a white fox fur was wound around her kawaii throat. Black stovepipe jeans completed her unusual outfit and a stilettto dagger was strappd to her right thigh.




A long gold chain (attched to an old-fashioned wallet?) depended from her left thigh below a dark fanny pouch which must serve as a purse or pocketbook.



Legato pointed towards the stiletto. "That thing your only weapon, Miss Richards?" asked Bluesummers.



"Huh? Oh. That. I've got a brace of pistols under my arms if that's oro ya mean Mister, Mister--" replied the girl who was a few years younger than the Boss and her exec.



Legato grinned. Gomen er I am sorry. Where are my manners this evening? Bluesummers. Legato Bluesummers, ma'am but folks just call me Blue." he said and stuck out his hand.



"Call me Nami er Blue. Pleased to meet ya. May I sit down please?" she said and shook his hand. Blue waved her to a chair and she sat.



"I er was aboard a ship but now--" she began.



"Now you are still aboard a ship, Nami. By 'ship' I assume you mean an ancient Terran sailing vessel? Correct?" asked the pilot.



"Yeah. A ship. Just like this one although mine is a whole lot smaller, Blue." replied Nami and she accepted the mug of java Legato had just repped up.



"How the Hell did ya do that just now? You asked for coffee and it just-- came!" exclaimed the astonished girl and she leapt to her feet.



"Calm down. Osawaru er onegai er please sit down, Nami. I am very much afraid that this place is not Terra- your Earth. It's a planet called 'Workoh' and it's about a trillion lightyears beyond your world, kid. You are correct. This is a ship but it's a starship, an intergalactic patrol starship. (Nami's gloved hand hovered over her blazer's left breast)




"Relax, Honey. We aren't after Terrans today. Please answer me this, girl. Oro year was it when you left home today? (Nami looked at him as if he had just escaped from a lunatic asylum!) Humour me, Nami. Oro year was i?" asked a straight-faced Legato.



Nami Richards blinked. "It was 1998 of course same as it is now, man!" she snapped angrily. "Dammit! It sure is hot as Hell in here, Blue!" she added.



"Well I'm gonna make ya feel a whole Helluva lot hotter, love. The current year is AD 2251 and this is the 23rd Century, Nami not the 20th. No wonder you're sweating. Better take off that heavy coat before you roast yourself to death in it, kiddo." replied Blue.



Nami stood and slipped off her long coat, scarf and white fur. The blazer and turtleneck followed along with a brace of pistols in twin shoulder holsters and harness rig. She started to loosen her tie and unbuckle her jeans.




Legato coughed discreetly. "Would you like me to tuen my back, go into the kitchen or would you care to use one of the bedrooms or anything? I er am a gentleman, my child." asked Blue.



Nami kicked off her boots and jeans leaving her in just the white shirt and tie. The shirttails covered her nether regions. She grinned.




"Nai. That's OK. I have a 'mizuki' (swimsuit) on underneath this getup, Blue. Legato stared at her long bare legs and raised his aizu brows) Maybe it er would be more dignified and ladylike to finish this in one of the bedrooms. (Legato indicated an inner door) If you'll excuse me. I won't be a minute." said Nami apologetically.



Thirty seconds later she returned wearing a two piece leopardskin beach bikini. A fanny pouch encircled her waist and a 'grouch bag' hung from the left side of her bikini bottoms. She was barefoot but she had kept the kerchief and tinted glasses.




"There! That feels a whole Helluva lot better, man. Now you were saying?" she said and lit a cigarette with a gold lighter she'd pulled out of her 'grouch bag' and sat down.




Legato speedily filled her in on the state of the universe and how in all likelihood she had somehow travelled here to the 'Angel 2' in this era. Then he gave her the bad news.



"Oro? I got here through some hole in the Fxxxing sky and ya don't know when or even if I can be sent back home to Earth in 1998? (Legato nodded) Shit! That's just great, man! I don't even have so much as a change of undies with me so oro am I gonna do? I got no place to stay tonight even!" she whimpered.




Then she took off her glasses and fluttered her aizu lashes at the big guy.




"Would it be er OK if I like crashed here tonight on your couch, Blue? Please!" she pleaded and Blue nodded.



He raised his voice ever so slightly. "Get Miss Richards here oroever she needs, 'CC', willya? She's er crashing here tonight on my sofa. Arigatou, tomo mine." he said to-- nobody at all!



"Of course, mon capitaine. Don't you fret none, sir. I know how to keep my big trap shut. Nudge, nudge eh? Miss Richards? Do you require pajamas for the night? (Nami who was all at sea involuntarily shook her kawaii (lovely) head and stared at-- nothing!) Very well. Here are some undergarments which should fit you. Ashita we will get you all kitted out. Your own fuku (clothing) will be laundered, dried, cleaned and pressed and will be ready by morning. Will there be anything else, Madam? (A thoroughly dumbfounded Nami shook her head again.) Then I bid you good night. Pleasant dreams, Miss." said 'CC' and Legato chuckled.




Then he started to explain who exactly 'CC' was but Nami had drifted off into slumber before he had finished.



The sofa was surprisingly comfy cozy and Nami slept fitfully until she was awakened by a slight trilling sound in her ears. The sound seemed to be coming from her earrings (which had been replaced with comlink rhomboids) and somebody (or some thing?) was gently telling her that it was ten hundred hours (10 AM) and that Nami had a meeting appointment with the commander in ten minutes.



Nami yawned and stretched.




"Boy! I must've gotten myself gloriously loaded last night! Gad! Did I really try and do a 'Gypsy Rose Lee' number in front of that cool guy I met last night? Ooh! My poor head! Well I'd best get ready. This 'commander' dude is probably some old stuffed shirt- all spit and polish so he is not gonna wanna be meeting me in a bikini!" she thought aloud.




Nami Richards had no idea of course just how 'casual' things were aboard the 'Angels' so she quickly showered, put on her new underthings and found that this 'CC' guy had been true to his word.




Her own freshly laundered garments were hanging neatly in the closet while her boots had been 'spit shine' polished and now reflected like mirrors! Her stiletto dagger had been honed and polished. Her twin Beretta .25 calibre automatic pistols were polished and had been fully loaded.




Nami dressed quickly but opted not to wear anything over her blazer today. She tied the kerchief around her head, straightened her pink cravat, adjusted her tinted spectacles, slid her stiletto dagger into its thigh sheaf, buckled on her fanny pouch, shoved her wallet into her jeans' hip pocket and clipped it to its chain, spun both automatics into their concealed holsters and called her new roomie.)



"Blue? Legato? Mr. Bluesummers? Sir? You here?" she shouted.



"Captain Bluesummers is up on the bridge, Miss Richards. At noon we lift off for home. He 'is' one of our pilots you know. I er trust that you found the emerald ones more to your liking, Miss? Ah! I see that you did manage to locate your own attire and I must say that you do look most striking in black, Miss Nami. When you leave these quarters turn left and you will find the lift banks at the end of the hallway. Get aboard one and just tell it to take you directly to the dining hall. It will deposit you on Surface Level Two in front of the rec room door. The dining hall is next door to the rec room's bar. Hurry up now because Marshall O'Halloran is expecting you. Sayonara, Madam." instructed "cc" and all of a sudden Nami realized something.



"Hey! How the Hell did you know that I picked out the 'emerald' ones? There was a whole big stack of different coloured underwear on that chair, Mr. er 'CC', is it?" demanded Nami Richards, the svelte captain of the Terran vessel known as the 'Pirate Princess' and 'CC' smirked.



"Emerald green is definitely your colour, my dear child and matches your kawaii aizu perfectly." replied 'CC'.



Nami was shocked and angry.




"You 'watched' me get dressed? You pervert! I've got a good mind to report you to Admiral O'Helloran and I think I will too dammit! Good day to you, sir. Many thanks for the directions!" yelled Nami and she slammed the door behind her.




All was as 'CC' had told her and the barkeep silently pointed Nami to the dining hall next door. A hush fell over the huge room when Nami came in.



"Fleet officer in the hall! Ten-Hut!" yelled Ichigo Kurosaki when he caught sight of oro he thought was at least a fleet admiral!




When Nami finally realized that she was the 'officer' she shouted "At Ease!" and that lifted the hush. It wasn't long before 'Animal House' was once again in full swing.



"Where the Hell's this Admiral O'Helloran dammit? I'm supposed to have an appointment with him! demanded an annoyed Nami Richards and the place exploded with laughter!



END of Ch 30. Ch 31 'Angelic Travel Plans Anyone?' or 'New Navvie Aboard?' coming soon. Getting interesting eh? Wonder how our heroine's gonna get outta this one? Read on and r/r/s away as always. Have a wunnerful day and sfn/sys/jm/Kami bless you all for your interest and assistance. Hooble-toodle-doo! Toodles tomos watashi-K&K



PS- I really do appreciate all your loyalty and support over the years my tomos watashi all! And you can take that to the bank folks!-K&K


By the way that pix at the top of this post are my 'Lovely Angel' Kei (the grim redhead with the huge Mark XIII ion cannon in her fists) and 'Lovely Angel' Yuri (the fur clad violet-maned vixen behind her. That is a small but deadly Mark III miniblaster in her hot little hand. Make no mistake folks. This kawaii er lovely duo lives up to their dreaded nickname of the- 'Dirty Pair' by never forgetting Kei's motto:


"Never blow up tomorrow what you can blow up today!"

21 January 2009

Kei's Interview (as promised)

Sticky Message aka Announcement


Everyone raved over this faux (mock) interview betwixt Kei and her bossman Anton Wilhelm Gustav, her Sector 9 unit chief in the 3WA (World Welfare Works Assn) the peacekeeping arm of the 'UG' (United Galactica Federation of Galaxies) so here it is for all of you lucky readers to enjoy. Gomen er sorry but I still haven't gotten the hang for posting pix here yet. However, I have included a couple of links where you can find my photo albums if you want to see these and tons more anime pix! Without further ado hre is---





Lovely Angel Kei's Interview (at last!)




KEI INTERVIEW






Premise: Kei and I are here today at the 3WA training base station and I thought it would make a great opportunity to use our break period to let all you folks out there find out something about what my Lovely Angel, Kei, has been up to of late. We will also update you on our lives ever since we first met each other all those years ago.






Mugghi and Nammo are here with us while we all test out some new weapons recently installed on the Lovely Angel. So for purposes of this interview I am the Keiman(KM) while she is Kei. Wherever I make reference to another character and/or series it will be so noted in brackets as well as all tones of voice and/or actions. Here we go:-






KM: Good afternoon, Kei.






Kei: Hi Bossman, what's up?






KM: What have you been up to lately?






Kei:(Confused) Er, you already know that, sir.






KM:Yes, Kei-I know but your fans don't.






Kei:Oh OK-gotcha! I'm cool but sometimes I miss the vacuumhead!






KM:Er, Kei, do you mean Yuri?






Kei: Of course, who else?






KM: OK, just try to be nice today, please?






Kei: Alright, I'll be good (Giggles)






KM:Now what have you been doing lately?






Kei: Well, we've been here testing new weapons. They just installed a supercool sonic disruptor beam cannon on the ship and I can't wait to play with it! Yesterday, I remodified my power blaster and now I can hit the bull (target) from 187 meters with pinpoint accuracy! Oh, sorry you meant besides work, didn't you sir? Well, last night we all went to the Shangri-La Casino (see Original Dirty Pair-Episode 5) and I won 80 thousand credits playing meteor! They have really fixed that place up nice since the last time we were there. And we ran into Faye(Cowboy Bebop) and Vash(Trigun) too.






KM: I know all about that. I had one devil of a time talking you and Faye out of turning in Vash for the 60 billion double dollars reward!






Kei: Well, technically he is a criminal, ain't he?






KM: Yes but not in our jurisdiction; anyway he's a good guy after all. Incidentally, you and Yuri never even tried to recapture Caldy (see DP Flash-Mission 2/Act 3) after that hot springs tour fiasco on World's World did you? And he was a wanted felon on our turf! Why he even conned you a couple of times, didn't he?






Kei:(Angrily) You promised NEVER to bring that issue up again!






KM:OK! Have you heard from Yuri recently? Even though you both still work for the 3WA (Yuri is still in Poporo's section) you now work for Gustav in Unit 9 so you don't see each other there too often, do you?






Kei: No, sir we don't but we do keep in touch via email and vidphone pretty regularly. She vidded me last night. Of course, she can't stand her new partner Kumi (on loan to us from the ATC where she protects Momiji's Blue Seed from the Aragami). She says Kumi's motto is "If you got ammo, keep shooting!" Anyway WE get all the tough missions and that purple-headed punching bag (see DPF-Mission 2/Act 2) gets all the easy ones!






KM: Now, Kei, that is not avery nice thing to say, is it? And after you promised to be good.






Kei:(Sulkily) OK Sorry. Maybe Yuri doesn't get all the easy jobs but it sure as Hell seems like it! And she got to keep little Mugghi too!






KM: But you and Marlene(Marlene Angel is Kei's new partner-on loan from Earth II where she protects Earth from the Blue Gender Blues monsters) got big Mugghi and Nammo (their robot is Nammo and Mugghi is a genetically engineered android not unlike a huge kitty cat), didn't you? And each of your teams got a new Lovely Angel starship to use. Could we be fairer than that? (Perhaps I should explain that the Central Computer goofed again. It assigned two Lovely Angels team codenames: Yuri/Kumi are Lovely Angels 1 while Kei/Marlene are Lovely Angels 2. Kei's team is now part of Unit 9 and their chief is Gustav. Yuri/Kumi is still part of the old department section and their chief is Poporo). And Yuri told me that Kumi causes more destruction than you usually do.






Kei:(Shocked) Trouble, me? I don't know what you mean, sir.






KM: Yes you do, Miss Kei! Oh well I guess the cat's out of the bag now folks so I'll tell you. I, the Keiman, am really Kei's new section chief at Unit 9-Gustav (My cousin is Chief Gazelle of Galaxy Cup Volleyball Tourney fame-see DPF-Mission 3/Act 3 for details).






Kei: Sorry, sir! I guess I gave you away, didn't I? (Giggles hysterically)






KM:OK now where were we? Oh, yeah, how is Yuri really doing? You know what I mean; I believe she vidded you last evening?






Kei:(Ecstatic) Oh wow I almost forgot! She just ran into this real cool guy in Florida (his name is Wilbury I think) on the beach. She's there modeling or some such crap. And she is truly GONE over him man! He must be a hunk to turn Yuri on full blast like that; she couldn't shut up about how great he was through the whole call! She really seems to like him a lot and who knows? Remember how she almost got hitched to Kyarine (see ODP-Episode 6 for details) on that island a few years back? Yeah, I know I probably blew it for them by crashing the wedding as a nun but I was trying to complete a mission at the time, wasn't I?






KM: Did you have to destroy the whole damned church? Chief Gooley's stomach was doing somersaults for weeks after that!






Kei: Sorry, oh, Yuri has also been singing at some of those Karaoke clubs over there too. She really does have a great voice you know.






KM: I know. Er, your voice isn't half bad either, Kei.






Kei:(Blushing) Oh, you're just saying that Chief.






KM: No really. I've heard you do that Non-stop Angel number ("In Love With Thrills") and you're good! When you, er, absented yourself from the 3WA on that hiatus, wasn't one of your jobs singing in a club?






Kei: First I quit the 3WA whether Garner accepted my resignation or not! Yuri thought I quit too, which was why the little son-- er I mean the true blue trocon decided to follow me to Waldess's cruiseship and arrest me for carrying an illegal weapon (see DPF-Mission 1/Acts 1 to 6 for details). I wonder if she ever discovered who was backing her up when she was inside Kapp's head; of course Garner got me to do it for her. But that's all water under the brifdge now. Anywho, I hope this Wilbury guy works out for the kid, I really do! I'm two months older than Yuri you know. Oh yeah and to get back to your previous (is that right?) question sir-we did get big Mugghi and Nammo and Yuri does love that furball Mugghi a lot. By the way, Chief, would you believe that on World's World (see DPF-Mission 2/Act 1) that idiot couldn't tell the difference between a real cat and an android one with a bomb in it! If I hadn't have grabbed that thing outta her arms she'd've been toast!






KM: Er, incidentally, all during that Siren (see DPF-Mission 1/Acts 1 to 6) incident you two were never once referred to by that name, were you? And since then everyone seems to call both teams the Dirty-






Kei:(Mad as Hell) Don't say it!






KM:OK they probably all know it by now anyway (I am referring to the "Dirty Pair" moniker of course.) Put that blaster away, young lady, right now!). By the way, there is something that I have always been curious about.






Kei:(Snickering) What's that sir?






KM:When you were sent to Eden (see "Project EDEN" file), it seems the first thing you did was to search the mines. You came across several troughs filled with filthy, contaminated and for all you knew, radioactive waste water. Whatever possessed the two of you to decide to strip off and bathe in it?






Kei:(Giggling) Well it seemed like a good idea at the time sir.







KM: Luckily you both survived that ordeal. To return to my previous statement, when exactly and under what circumstances did you two become known by that name? I believe that may have been before I met you?






Kei: Yeah, it was long before that Chief. It was our first mission and we called it the "Brian" disaster(see Classic TV-Episode 1). "Brian" was the computer controlling all functions of the Damocles Tower in Elinore City on Shimougou and we lived there on the 35th floor in an apartment. "Brian" went on the fritz and started shutting down the building and wrecking the city so we decided to shut him down. We caused a bit of damage to the city and the tower before we got it under control. OK, the tower now lists at a 30 degree angle because there is no foundation left to hold it upright. But it wasn't my fault!






KM: How did you finally stop "Brian"?Kei:(Again laughing hysterically) We gave him an impossible problem to solve and he overloaded!






KM: Which was?






Kei:(Giggling) We asked it to decide between me and Yuri-who is the better (sexier) one?






KM: The answer of course being impossible since a computer cannot decide an answer requiring the use of emotions, right?






Kei:(Confused) If you say so sir. But he should have picked me!






KM: i'm not about to touch that one, folks.






Kei:(Sulkily) Well he shoulda picked me.






KM: I hear Keitaroo(see DPF-Mission 3/Act 1 for details) is back. Has he been over to see you yet?






Kei:(Puzzled) Oh, my godkid! You bet he has. Er you know he has a crush on Derringer Merrill Strife (Trigun) don't you? Vash told me at Shangri-La last night after you left us. OK so I stayed and lost my 80 thou at meteor! Why do you think that Faye and me tried to grab Vash for the 60 billion?






KM: We'll let that pass for now. How is Keitaroo doing? He's gotta be on Easy Street with that fortune of his dad's (the Senator) he inherited last year.






Kei: Oh, you didn't know? He donated that to help rebuild July and August (the two cities that Vash atomized on Gunsmoke). I told you he had a thing for Merrill, didn't I? But he has just enrolled at the Academy and we may get him here with us at Unit 9 real soon!






KM: Oh no! Another one! Well, I see that they are calling us back to the ship to put that new sonic disruptor beam cannon through its paces again. So let me take this time we have left to humbly apologize to Yuri for calling her "brainless" all those times during "Siren" and for letting you know where Waldess went after you quit the force. Gazelle also asked me to say sorry for calling her "pathetic" and for that ordeal he put you two through when he trained you here for that volleyball tourney. Did he really flood your room and make you stand in oil to play and train you in a sauna?






Kei:(Laughing) The worst was when he tried to appeal to us to stay by telling us about those "50 brave agents who made the ultimate sacrifice" trying to arrest Mr. President. But we got back at him later in the hospital. Er, did his hair ever grow back sir?






KM: Yes eventually it did. As a final thought, how about reminding everyone what your motto is?






Kei:(Solemnly) Never blow up tomorrow what you can blow up today! Yo, Chief! Are they calling us again? ooh, that announcer just said the same thing Yuri did at the prison (see ODP-Episode 1) when she used her laserlight ring to blow open that vault door (after I ran outta ammo) to get the warden out. They were like "Son of-"






KM: Yes I recall them "SOB-What the Hell!" to which you replied "That didn't suck!" It was one of the very few times Yuri used profanity- unlike you!






Kei:(Shocked) Who me? I'm sure I don't know what you mean sir.






KM: Yes you do. Whoa! They were calling us and there's our final warning. That's the big cheese- Territorial Chief Garner. (Speaking into Comlink) We're coming sir.






Kei:(Giggling) We'd better get going sir!






KM: (Laughing) Any final thoughts for your loyal fans, Kei?






Kei:(Mock Serious) To paraphrase Red Green "Always keep your blaster on its bull" (Coyly, to KM) "Thanks for letting me blow off some steam, Honey."






KM:(Angrily) Honey! I am your section chief, TroCon Kei! And don't you forget it!






Kei:(Apologetic) I'm very sorry sir.






KM:(Looking worried) Kei, you did tell Mugghi to clean the cannon first before he loaded it, didn't you?






Kei:(Perplexed) Huh? Er, no sir, I thought you did.






KM:(Mad as Hell) You idiot! If he tries to fire that thing now---






Kei:(Running full tilt down the corridor) I'm already on it Chief! (Speaking through comlink earring) Hey, Mugghi, don't touch those gun controls until I get there!






KM:(Fuming) Another fine mess she's gotten us into!






Kei:(Fading voice) Mugghi! Nammo! Wait'll I get my hands on you! I'll-






KM:(Back to Normal) Sorry about that outburst but sometimes Kei just ticks me off so much. In closing, folks, let me just say that it has been an honor and a privilege to have known both Yuri and Kei. I am especially proud to have Kei on my staff at Unit 9 (Eat your heart out Poporo!). The girls did save him and his kid Rosa from that madman Berringer (see DPF-Mission 3/Act 5). I wonder if the three of them ever finished writing all those "Sorry we blew up half of Elinore City again" letters finally? I must remember to ask Kei. What am I saying? I still have a headache from last night when I got drunk and told her Faye was cuter than she was!






Kei:(Calling from vidphone) Chief, Garner and Gazelle are waiting for us and they are both as mad as Hell! You better get your butt over here now! Pronto!






KM:(Speaking on comlink)Coming Kei. (Aside) Believe it or not I AM her superior although sometimes it may seem otherwise.(Dawning realization) Oh no, if she fires that gun it's sayonara time for this complex!(Running off toward ship at full tilt) Well, that's all folks. Goodbye from us both and keep sending us (especially Kei) those fan letters and emails, too. Kei!!!--






Kei:(Reassuring) Relax Chief. It's OK. I've got everything under control again. (Sound of BOOM!! and Kei crying) Sorry sir! But it's not my fault really!






AFTERMATH: As I said before I am honored and proud to have my fave animegal on my team at Unit 9. Of course I do get to see her almost every day.






DISCLAIMER: You folks know all of this is false (made up) don't you? I tried to use Kei's point of view in both asking and answering these questions for this interview. I would REALLY like to be Kei's bossman but how could that ever be? I am an actual 54 (now 59 as of 7/8/2008) year old guy and she is just my absolute fave animebabe! But I will never find a more beautiful (and dangerous) animegal than you, my lovely angel, Kei!






APOLOGY: I must ask Mr. Wilbury (Lovely Yuri Website) to forgive my "poetic license" for Kei's answers about his Yuri's lifestyle. I did not mean to offend him in any way whatsoever and if I have upset him or anyone in any way I most humbly apologize. Gomen! Such was never my intention at all.






GRATITUDE: I want to thank each and every one who has assisted me over these past few months (years now) since I rediscovered anime in a big way. I especially wanna thank Nozmo, Wim, Mr. Wilbury, the Lovely Angels, the Extraordinary Kei Shrine, Dirty Pair Flash Fanatics, Jeff, YuriandKeifanatics, Tom Mitchell, and of course Kei thanks all of her devoted fans (as does Yuri and Gustav) whether or not they read this rather long interview with my fave animebabe, lovely Kei.






Without their able help and guidance I could have never achieved this hallmark in my life. Maybe someday with their aid I will be able to establish my own "Lovely Angel Kei" website (now I have two and a trio of blogs too).






Thank you all from the bottom of Keiman's heart and as Kei observed "Keep yer blaster on the bull".






Domo Arigato Tomah Ours and Sayonara from the Keiman and Kei.Visit the AnimeonTV web site at view link






I must apologize but posting pix is a bit tough right now here at blogspot so to see any or all of these pix go to either:






www.eons.com/people/groups/anime-a-holics/photos





www.msn.com/yahoogroups/Animeaholics1/photos








They are described in detail below.






Here's how Naruto and the kids at Hidden Leaf Village celebrate Thanksgiving:-







Here's a happy holiday Kurusumasu tree for ya.







Special two for Blaine- Here are first Lovely Angel Kei:-





This is Lovely Angel Yuri:-







Special domo arigatou for this one to highteckdudu from animeonline.net- Neko (Olson) the shapeshifting neko mata trill (the way I first saw her):-







This is a mystery character (OK of course I know where she's from but er do you?) courtesy of DragonBall the former moderator at animeonline.net so enjoy! Hint- This is from a really old anime folks:-







Last but not least again I am indebted to highteckdudu for this pix of Neko who or is it whom I made not only into a shapeshifting nekomata trill (she can turn into a cat like Yoruichi does on Bleach) but also into Jon Harlock's navigator and third in command behind his exec on the 'Botany Bay 2' (Khan stole the first BB ship) and she's a gun freak like Kei O'Halloran and her 2140 counterpart Keisie. Keisie is the one that blew the rift in the universe in AD 2140 thus plunging things into utter chaos which her AD2249-2253 counterpart KO had to fix in Xmas w/ the DP (my first ff) and now she's back in the same role in Angel Wings where she is partnered with Revy Roberts from 'Black Lagoon' and Roanapur in SE Asia on Terra.









OK- here's oro Revy looks like along with her Terran cohorts. However, Rock Obajime (computer whiz a la Tomah Jordan of the 3WA) is the only one who accompanied her to the Academy on Shimougou. Here she is with from left to right Benny, Rock, Revy is the nasty looking auburn-maned beauthy with folded arms and on the right that's their 'fearless leader' Dutch. Oro are they? They're mercs or more accurately killers for hire although they do protection work and bounty stuff from time to time.






The lynx-like neko (cat) in the pix below the group shot is Neko (the way she looks now I guess but you'd have to ask HTDD about that folks):-


As per usual at the very bottom left hand corner we have LA Kei with the Mark XIII ion cannon and LA Yuri behind her in the fur coat and she's got a Mark III miniblaster in her hot little fist! Kei considers anything smaller than a Mark XII ion cannon or a Mark XI disruptor pistol a peashooter or a toy! Her faves are the long barrelled Marks (XX, XXI, XXX, XXXI etc) which resemble rocket launchers like the 90 MM recoilless rifle and the old 3.5 rocket launcher aka a bazooka!






Gotta go but happy animeing and as usual keep posting folks!






SFN/SYS/JM/KBYA/KYSOTI/Toodles-K&K

15 January 2009

My 2 Latest Angel Wings chapters-Here's the first

DISCLAIMER: OK Neko Olson, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T for the use of his Angels. Arigatou a lot to everyone else who is letting us use their creations and a special thanks to Hugh, Rick, Bear, Eric, Drew and Alex the ice road warriors and their producer/narrator Thom Beers. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left ya all up in the air last time around so let's get to Ch 28 w/o further preamble:-

Chapter 28

'Ghostly Gambit' or 'Kei Makes A Deal'

Yuri was already powering up her scanning relay systems. "OK 'Black Ghost'- where the Sam Hell are ya? Aha! I've got him and he's alone too. Let's see if we can transport his little ass over here, shall we? Boss, who is our transporter officer on this ship?" asked Yuri Donovan.
"Kome is handling those duties, kid so just trill her." replied Kei.

"Kome? It's Yuri. You anywhere near the transport room? Nai? Well get there as soon as you can. Trill me when ya get there." trilled Yuri and a few moments later Kome trilled back and asked her oro the Hell she wanted her in the transporter room for?

"Lock onto the coordinates I'm feeding through to you and transport everything in a ten meter radius over here to our transporter room. It's 'Black Ghost' so be real careful oroever ya do and don't forget to erect a Level Six force beam barrier field around him. Trill me when ya get him aboard. Arigatou. Yuri out." trilled the violet-maned wing commander. A few minutes later and--
"Got him, Yuri! He's aboard so c'mon down and he's all yours, man. Kome out." came Kome's trill and Yuri left for the transporter room.

Meanwhile 'Black Ghost' was perplexed to say the least. Where the jigoku was he now anyway? One second he was brewing up some herbal tea in John's wardroom and the next he was here- on some shimatta transporter pad! And he was unable to move more than a meter or so in any direction so oro the Fxxx was going on here? A Level Six force beam barrier field?

"Just where the Hell am I?" he thought aloud. A gruff voice answered him with smug satisfaction.

"Aboard the 'Lovely Angel 3' tomo and you're now a prisoner of the 3WA so be a good little boyo and keep quiet." said Kome and she trilled the news up to Kei on the bridge, Yuri having already left the command deck for the transporter room on Level Seven.

Kome grinned. "Good news, Ghostie. The warden herself is coming down to see ya. Maybe she'll let ya outta there or maybe she'll just decide to waste yer ass, boyo. It all depends on oro mood the Boss is in I suppose eh?" snickered the strawberry blonde-headed teenager.

"The Boss? Oh Ka-Mi in Heaven! Nai! Ya cannot mean her, can ya? Not Captain O'Halloran, not her?" asked a worried ghost anxiously. A rumble in the distance announced the arrival of the warden.

"It's Marshall O'Halloran now actually. Long time- no see eh, 'BG'? I gotta say that for a Fxxxing dead man you seem to be in really great shape, boyo." said Kei quietly.

"Ah, my dear child. It has been quite awhile since last we met, has it not? Oro can I possibly do for you, my dear?" he asked in a silky smooth oily tone of voice which was wasted on the redheaded firebrand.

"Can it, pal! I ain't your shimatta dear child! However, I do have a proposal to put to you. Show us how to safely disconnect your 'systemic inhibitors' from our vessels and I'll put in a good word for ya at your trial." offered the Boss but 'BG' shook his head.

"And if I refuse, Marshall? Oro then?" he demanded icily. Kei blew a few smoke rings before returning the cheroot to her mouth. Then she bit down hard on the tapered cigarillo.

"Then I will just have to jettison our three ships into a supernova. Sure we'll lose our ships and their 'God Guns' but nobody else will be able to control 'em either." she replied.

"So? Oro has that got to do with yours truly, Reds?" he asked coolly.

"Aw, did I forget to mention that you're gonna be chained aboard one of those doomed ships and that Johnny and Lexie will be trapped aboard another and that Orochi and Komica or Kabuto or oroever the Hell his name is will be stuck on the remaining one when the they get atomized by the nova?" said the redhead offhandedly and she yawned.

The 'Black Ghost' turned white!

"You wouldn't? You couldn't! Oro about your Galactic Code of Ethics? It's inhuman! You took that damned Galactic Oath yourself, didn't you?I--" screamed the ghost.

"Don't you dare quote Galactic Law to me dammit! Don't threaten me with that blasted Galactic Oath! Ethics? You're a fine one to be yapping about ethics! You and old Johnny Boy were gonna use our 'God Guns' to enslave entire worlds! I've given you a choice dammit to Hell! Take it or leave it! The clock's ticking, boyo so make up your shimatta mind! You've got one Fxxxing hour. Make the right decision or we do things my way, you verminous spectre! One solar hour is all the Fxxxing time you've got left, 'Black Ghost'! One more hour and then I'll be back!" shouted the firebrand Hellcat. Then she stormed back upstairs to her quarters.

Well she had shot her bolt and then some but would it work? 'BG' was perfectly right of course. Even Kei dared not leave five human beings assuming that the ghost even was human that is to such a horrifying fate like the one that 'BG' was even now envisioning. The Galactic Federation simply would not allow such a thing to happen and Kei had taken that Kami shimatta Galactic Oath as had every other member of the 3WA.

Fifty-five minutes later the Boss's living room loudspeakers came to life.

"I don't know whether you can hear me or not, Marshal even though Miss Sawaguchi has assured me that you can. OK. I will defue the inhibitors and all I am asking in retun is a full solars days' headstart before you send the troops after me. I don't really care oro the Hell you do with John, Lex, Orochi, Komica, Shade, Slade, Sapphy (Str Sapphire) or the rest of John's brood, however, should you not agree to my terms I advise you to b very careful when you stat up your engines. You see I built another bit of a failsafe into those inhibitors. How it works is quite simple- you activated it when you shut down this ship's engines as did Lex (Luthor) and Orochi (Orochimaru) when they landed the 'Angels 1 and 2' here and powered down their cores. If you try to restart the thruster cores without first feeding in the proper codes- Kabloom! You'll have your own little nova (when a star explodes) wherever the Hell you may happen to be and Kami knows oro will happen when one let alone all three of those 'God Gun' toys of yours explode, kiddo. Oh hai (yeah) and did I mention that yours truly is the only one who knows those damned codes? John and his other cronies do not know about my er safety valves of course. You see, ma'am, I didn't trust Johnny to keep his part of our bargain so I took out a little insurance policy to protect my own interests. Well, the choice is yours, O'Halloran. Oro's your answer? You go ahead and think it over. I'll be right here- waiting. I am not going anywhere, Boss. Ja Mata (See you later)."

The voice of 'Black Ghost' ceased and Kei immediately trilled the bridge. Legato had been ordered to run a full diagnostic preparatory to liftoff and part of that procedure involved firing up the thruster core!

"Blue! Don't turn on the engine core! That thng of the ghost's is booby-trapped! I'm on my way up so don't do anything until I get there! Engineering! Do not I say again do not start the engines! That inhibitor thing of ghostie is a time bomb waiting to blow! I'll explain all of it to you later! Just follow my orders! Kei out!" she yelled into her PA mike.

The fiery redhead spurned the lift and vaulted up the gantryway to the atrium well on Level Four.

"Kome? Kei. Lock onto my signal and beam me up to he bridge- stat! That's a Fxxxing order dammit! Did ya hear me, Suba Sawaguchi?" trilled her commander.

Kei dissolved into crystalline particles and experienced the sensation of falling through a soupy mass of gelatin one second and the next she was reassembled into her old self. Now the kawaii redhead was standing at the bridge's command console.

"Knock it the Hell off! This ain't no time for games dammit! (Light Yagami and Ichigo Kurosaki had let out loud catcalls and whistles when the Boss had materialized in front of them in her bare feet and wearing only a tank top and skinny bikini underbriefs)

Don't touch that, you dimwit! (Kei shoved Nyssa away from the console before she could hit the activation panel. She shoved her so hard that the poor Trakken girl crashed into the bulkhead wall headfirst and was knocked out cold instantly)

Blue! Have ya called down to Engineering yet? Nai? Good. We have got us a problem, gang. Huh? Oh hai. Arigatou. Thanks, kid. Mar had just helped her into a flight suit and now she was clamping the fasteners on a pair of deck boots onto her feet.

Kei clipped her 'tracker badge' to her right breast and sat down on the console. Rally handed her a mug of steaming hot java and returned to her scanning duties next door.)

Thanks, 'Cat'. OK. I want all section leaders in my ready room (like an office) in ten minutes. Mar, Blue, Nyssa. You're with me. Light? Double the brig guards and send a security team down to the transporter room on Seven. I want that shimatta thing down there ('Black Ghost') hogtied, bound, shackled, hobbled and gagged. Then I want his Fxxxing ass brought up to my ready room! One of ya better put in a relay conference vidtrill to 3WA HQ. Get Doc Q, Wolf (von Bork), Andy, Don, Anton Ella, Charlie, Madam Beryl, the reps from 'Starfleet', 'Galactic Command', 'United Galactica', the 'ISSP', Terra's MI5 and Interpol and whoever the Hell else ya can think of and we'd better have Uncle Vito on the line too! Not even Berringer is inon this ittle fiasco! It's all on that bka (crazy) ghost!

Oro? You guys are still here? Get a move on your asses- now! Include the 'ice brigade' (ice road truckers from Terran Arctic) ad Vicky's 'dead squad' (Seras Victoria and her 'Nova Hellsing' crew most of whom were vampires) in on our meeting as well as Ryuuk (the shinigami death god who had arrived with Light Yagami), Ichigo, Rukia (the soul reapers) and Light!" yelled the Boss from halfway down the rear hallway.

Kei quickly explained the 'BG' scenario to her cadre when they finally reached her meeting.
"Well? Oro are your orders, mum?" asked Nyssa holding an ice holo pack to her head. Kei drew a ragged breath.

"To defuse these shimatta devices requires a code sequence before we can fire up the 'Angels' engines and if we try to fire 'em up anyway the warp cores go nova and take the ships and their 'God Guns' with 'em and only our tomo 'Ghostie' knows the codes. However, he wants a solar day's headstart to help us and he'll probably want a shuttle to boot. Under the circumstances I'd say he's letting us off dirt cheap so I've already decided to agree to his terms. The frigging universe is a Helluva lot more important than on damned criminal. Besides I caught his ass three times before this and I can make that four if it's really necessary. We have just gotta recover both my ship ('Angel 2') and Yuri's ship ('Angel 1') without further delay because their inhibitors are booby-trapped like the one we got aboard. (She sighed)

Guys I er may have to make a deal with John Berringer and his acolytes. (There followed a murmur of disapproval) Look, I don't like it any more than you do. Anyhow here's oro I want all of ya to do--"said Kei and she explained her plans in detail while they were waiting for the section heads she'd summoned.

Meanwhile aboard the 'Starcrusher' (John Berringer's ship) Johnny Boy was very annoyed--
"Where the Hell's 'BG' gotten to anyway! He was supposed to be up here an hour ago dammit all! (Komica whispered in John's ear) Oro the Fxxx do ya mean he's disappeared? Find his ass! That's a Kami shimatta Fxxxing order dammit! (His comlink trilled) Oro? Who? The 'Red Bitch' is calling ME? Hell yeah! Put her through dammit!" roared John over his comlink and Komica hastened to comply.

John switched on his vidscreen and a scowling grim-faced Angel confronted him. "Oro the Fxxx do YOU want, bitch? I have a minor crisis her so make it quick, O'Halloran!" yelled the gang leader.

"Stow it, John. Shut the Hell up and listen to me, you idiot! If your 'crisis' is a missing henchman you can relax. 'Black Ghost' is safe and sound. He's right here with us. (John swore repeatedly)

OK. If you're all done with your temper tantrums I have a proposition for you. (John frowned but signalled for her to continue)

Those little toys that 'BG' put on my three 'Angels' go into self destruct mode if you monkey around with 'em or if you try firing up the engines and he's probably attached one of his little gems to your 'Starcrusher', Johnny Boy so here's the deal I'm offering you.

He is willing to defuse all of 'em if I give him a shuttle and a single solar day's headstart. He doesn't give a Fxxx oro the Hell we do to you or any of your playmates tomo so- (Kei hesitated and sighed)

If you'll agree to return my two ships, their passenges and crews, allow 'BG' to deactivate all the inhibitors, give me your word of honour guarantee that you will leave this part of the universe, allow all of my ships to depart from here unharmed and allow 'Ghostie' to depart safely (John was fuming so much that Kei swore she could see him foaming at the mouth)

then I will give myself up to you to do with oroever (whatever) you will." sighed the Boss resignedly.

"Over my Fxxxing dead body you will dammit!" cried an incensed Yuri Donovan hotly.

END of Ch 28. Ch 29 'Springing A Trap' o 'Kei Keeps A Promise' coming soon. Onegai r/r/s away and Kami bless you all. More twists and turns and pitfalls on their way in the next chapter folks so it's SFN/SYS. The guys are off the ice but into the frying pan maybe? Only time will tell so r/r/s away and keep yer stick on the ice gang. Kami bless you all. Ja mata and toodles-K&K

A big domo arigatou to all you nice folks for your devotion, loyalty and support. I appreciate it a whole lot and ya can take that to the ban. See ya soon and sayonara for now-K&K

My 2 Latest Angel Wings chapters-Here's the 2nd One

ANGEL WINGS

DISCLAIMER: OK 'Star Sapphire', it's all yours. First I wanna thank Mr T for the use of his Angels and stuff. Then I wanna thank everyone else who has been allowing us to use their creations here like Thom Beers for the use of his ice road truckers Hugh, Drew, Rick, Eric, Alex and Bear. I took the liberty of naming the 3WA academy in Furool City on Shimougou after Mr Haruka Takachiho in honour of his creations- the Angels. How was that, Yuri? Great, kiddo. Oh hai it sure was, Kei! Now since we left ya up in the air last time let's get to Ch 29 without any further meandering, shall we? Did our Yuri Donovan really use Ralphie's F--- word? We'll find out why momentarily gang. Here 'tis:-

CHAPTER 29

'Springing A Trap' or 'Kei Keeps A Promise'

Like Fxxxing Hell you will, you dimwitted birdbrained numbskull! He wants to frigging kill you, you jackass!" howled an enraged Yuri Donovan. John Berringer and his tomos seemd amused by her outburst. John cleared his throat.

"Ahem! You will agre to turn yourself ovr to me, O'Halloran- no questions asked? I have your 'Galactic Command' word of honour on that. Is that correct? (Kei nodded quickly) And the er pursuit ends here and now? Nobody will come after us? You guarantee me that, Reds? (The redhead nodded angrily) Then I agree. Your other two 'Angel' ships and their occupants are yours. 'Black Ghost' will defuse my ship after he does your 'Angel 3'. Then I will allow him to do the 'Angel 1' and the 'Angel 2'. Hell! I'll even give him his choice of 'Tondo', 'Chagum' or 'Balsa' (John's personal shuttles) for his getaway car and send him on his merry way! (John's face hardened into Kelvinite) However, there must always be a price and therefore you, my dear, will come over here to me- first. (Kei shook her head vehemently) Then no deal, bitch!" he exploded and smashed his fist down onto his conference table. Kei's emerald green aizu (eyes) flashed fiery flames.

"OK! I will come over to you first, however, as you said there must always be a price and therefore you will likewise have to give up a hostage to us as a gesture of your good faith, boyo. You will send Star Sapphire over to us and I will be transported over to you. Deal?" demanded the Boss staring right into John's dark aizu.

John looked furious. "Agreed but only if I have your 'Galactic Command' word of utmost honour that you will not be armed and that you will come over alone. Star will come over alone and unarmed as well. (John smiled and mused a moment longer) To prove to you that I am in earnest Star will be sent over wearing only her undergarments. That way you can see that she is weaponless. You will be similarly attired for the same reason when you come over here. Agreed?" demanded the scion of the cosmos. The redhead bristled with barely controlled anger and rage
.
"Agreed but no tricks, Johnny and 'Black Ghost' defuses all three of our 'Angels' first- before the exchange- OK?" countered the fiery Angel. John could barely control his temper.

"When?" he demanded between tightly clenched teeth. Kei smiled smugly.

"Give us an hour, boyo. Say 1600 hours (4 o'clock PM)? O'Halloran out." she replied and blanked her vidscreen.

Yuri had finally calmed down and figured Kei had another ace up her sleeve. "OK, oro's the plan, Boss?" Yuri had already strapped on her body armour and was now loading her plasma rifle. Kei stared at her.

"You heard. Get 'Ghostie' up here. He'll defuse us first. Then you, Mar and Revy take a detail along with him to the surface while he does his thing on your vessel and mine. Afterwards you will escort him to 'Starcrusher' where you will leave him and return here. When I am certain that all three of our 'Angels' have been defused we'll do the exchange." said Kei matter of factly.

Yuri winked. "Then I'll slip into a 'chameleon cloak' and rescue you. Right, Boss? Then I'll--" began Yuri.

"Nai! We do it just the way I said, Vacuumhead! I gave him my solemn word of honour, Airhead!" thundered the Amzon Hellcat. Kei bent close to her exec and whispered. "Not to worry, kiddo. My plans have already been set in motion. I have absolutely no intention of becoming one of Johnny's trophies! It'll be safer for you if you don't know my plans, ki so just trust me this time, Yuri. OK?" whispered he commander. Yuri bit herlip and nodded.

Meanwhile Mugghi, Ryuuk, Alucard, Vickie, Ichigo, Rukia, Kakashi Sensei, Naruto, Hinata, Neji and Sakura were very uncomfortable. Perfect replicas of them all ahdbeen repped up and then left in their paces on the three 'Angel' ships with the assistance of Raven, Leona and Blackfire. Now all fourteen of them were crammed into a very compact, narrow and shallow 'hidey hole' beneath the rear corridor of 'Starcrusher's command deck. After all this place's main usage had been to hide smuggled contraband while John and company rocketed all around the cosmos.

The plan was simple or so the Boss had said when she'd come up with this cocklemamey scheme an hour ago! When Kei gave the signal (three quick beeps from the minitracker stiched inside the waistband of her underbriefs) it would mean that she had somehow managed to isolate John and some of his cronies on the command deck. At this point the 'raiding party' would be beamed to the bridge where they would seize control of 'Starcrusher' and force Berringer into ordering his men to lay down their arms and surrender.

After a speedy trip to 'Seto Kaibo' to dump off their prisoners they would all return home- hopefully. Of course that necessitated giving 'Black Ghost' his freedom and the redhead was quite willing to 'lose a sheep' to 'bag a tiger' as she put it. Neji and Hinata Hyuga were their 'Bayakugan aizu' whose mission was to keep tabs on how things were progressing above them.


"I d not know why that foolish child sent a 'shinigami' (death god) like me along on this fiasco." muttered a complaining Ryuuk.

"I dunno why either dammit! You haven't shut up since we got here!" seethed Sakura the Ninja strawberry blonde girl.

"I'm hungry!" moaned Naruto the Ninja blonde kid with the nine-tailed 'kyune' (fox demon) sealed up inside his body.

"Ya wanna knuckle sandwich, kid?" threatened Leona the tank commander lass.

"I sure wish the Boss would hurry up and call us!" wailed Rukia the soul reaper maid.

"Yeah! I want some action, man!" grumbled Ichigo, her substitute human soul reaper compadre.

"Well 'Police Girl' (Seras Vitoria aka Vickie) and I are vampires for Hellsing's sake! Why were we included in this bloody shindig?" snarled Alucard (read his name backwards)

"I'm er sure that Marshall O'Halloran has chosen each one of us for a specific reason, guys." said Raven the 'Teen Titan' sorceress.

Kakashi Sensei looked up from his little book he read perpetually. "I do know why each one of us is here but why we had to bringalong that huge antique monstrosity in the hallway above us (The cloaked 'Crow's Nest' which was a huge semi rig owned by Hugh the 'Polar Bear' who was squeezed into a broom closet directly below their 'hidey hole') is just beyond me." said the partially masked Jonin Ninja and he went back to reading his book.

"Well?" demanded Blackfire. Kakashi sighed.

"Hinata and Neji for their 'Bayakugan aizu' as well as their 'gentle fist' jutsu. Lord Alucard and Lady Victoria can kill and yet not be killed. Ichigo and Rukia are superb warriors. Miss Raven is a sorceess. Leona and Blackfire are firs class space technicians. Mugghi is both a capable pilot and incredible navigator. Our Sakura here is a pretty good nurse. Naruto is a mastr of 'shadow clone' jutsu so he can confuse the Hell out of the enemy and er that's all there is to it, kiddies." he explained.

"And you?" demanded Vickie while trying to pull down her skirt which had ridden up to her thighs.

"Somebody has got to run things, do they not?" he intoned.

"And me, bandit?" rumbled Ryuuk. Kakashi stared at him for a full minute.

"You? I thought that would have been obvious. The element of surprise of course- one look at you and they'll shit themselves silly. You'll scare the Hell out of Orochimaru and Komica. Now pipe down and let me read dammit." he said.

"Well er Mr Hugh and his contraption are here in case wegotta make a fast getaway. We all pile in and that 'Cat' lady (Rally) beams all of us back to the 'Angel 3' tout sweet." said Sakura oblivious to the fact that her own skir had ridden up so high that her underbriefs with winking teddy bears were showing!

Meanwhile on the 'Angel 3' a practically X-rated Star Sapphire had just materialized on the bridge. "She's here, Boss and she sure as Hell ain't packing any heat!" trilled Revy Roberts to Kei who was down in her quarters on Level Three.

"Roger that, Revy. Give her a flight suit and our apologies. Yuri back yet?" trilled the redhead. She'd already stripped down to sprts bra and bikini underbriefs. Now she was busily attaching a tiny minitracker to the inside hem of her underbriefs' waistband. The only other article of 'fuku' (clothing) she was wearing was a Kelly green headband.

"Boss? Donovan's just got back. Good luck, ma'am." trilled Revy.

"Roger that. Tell Legato he's in command. Sayonara for now. O'Halloran out." she trilled and then stood perfectly still in the cenre of her bedroom. "I'm ready to go, 'Cat' so do it now." trilled Kei and Poof! She vanished and reappeared almost immediately thereafter in John's ready room.

"Gomen I mean I'm sorry for the theatrics but I just do not trust you, Reds so lose the earrings, necklace, bracelet and wrist chromo. (Kei tossed her comlink earring, plasma bomb necklace, morphing bracelet and gas grenade wristchromo on John's desk).

Now turn around- very slowly. 'Black Widow' (another member of his gang), take her in the bathroom onegai (please) and search her- thoroughly. ('Black Widow' grinned and then shoved Kei into the bathroom where she minutely examined Kei's underwear while the fuming redhead stood au natural beside her with upraised arms. The minitracker was stitched deep inside the fabric of Kei's waistband but being wafer thin it was well nigh undetectable. Finally she was satisfied and allowed the redhead to put them back on. The headband she merely glanced at and shrugged. After all oro the Hell could you hide in a headband? When she ushered Kei back into the ready room 'Black Widow' shook her head and at a sign from John she slammed the Angel into a chair across the table from the gang leader).

Well you er seem to have kept your part of the bargain so 'Black Widow' will remove my men from the 'Angels 1 and 2' and release all of the hostages. 'Black Ghost' has already been here and gone away on 'Tongo' so I have kept my part of the deal, dear child. All that remains now is oro the Hell to do with you.

You really are quite a kawaii (lovely) girl, my dear, that you are. (Kei scowled and strained at her bonds)
Relax. I have decided not to kill you. You are my insurance policy that the 3WA will not follow me. As soon as I'm in the clear, I'll release you so cheer up. You'll have yourself a nice relaxing two week vacation and then you can go back to running the Academy. (He ogled his prize catch and grinned)

I really do like that look on you. I think I'll keep you like that- for awhile longer anyway. I assume that the 'Ghost' left all four inhibitor devices aboard the 'Angel 3' before he left? ("Go to Hel-" she began then she bit her lip and nodded)

Ah well- you win some and you lose some. Easy come and easy go. The 'Widow' will take you to your room now, however, I do look forward to seeing you at dinner, my dear. Ciao." said Berringer and waved.

The dark haired 'Harpie' led Kei down the hall to a small room where she shoved Kei inside, locked the door and left. As soon as she heard the bridge door click shut up the hall, Kei went to work.

Picking the locks on the portal's release panel was mere child's play. First she raced to the far end of the long hallway and removed the tiny minilaser sword/torch she had concealed underneath her headband. Whoosh! Zap! Kei had fused the rear hallway's door controls to the deck.

A quick sprint to the oter end of the corridor and Whoosh! Zap! She'd done the same to the front hallway door's controls. Then she fused all the entry and exit portals leading into and from the bridge, the ready room and all the other bedroom, closet and utility rooms for good measure.

A speedy search of her room turned up no garments and she could have kicked herself for not searching the other rooms first before she'd fused their doors shut or koshing the 'Widow' and 'borrowing' her outfit

"Aw! The Hell with it!" she thought and reached inside her underbriefs. She pressed the minitracker three times in quick succession and hoped her 'raiding party' hadn't either fallen aleep or passed out from sheer boredom.

"That's our cue folks." said Kakashi Sensei and he gingerly tested his cramped legs. All of a sudden there was an earsplitting loud THUD! from above their heads. Then all Hell broke loose!

The THUD? Kei had accidentally blundered into Hugh's 'cloaked' truck while running at full tilt and of ourse that crash had brought the whole deck running only to soon discover that they were well and truly trapped! So they had hit the ships' alarms and klaxons had begun braying like jackasses all over'Starcrusher'.

END of Ch 29. Ch 30 soon. Getting interesting eh? Wonder how our heroine's gonna get outta this one? Read on and r/r/s away as always. Have a wunnerful day and sfn/sys/jm/Kami bless you all for your interest and assistance. Hooble-toodle-doo! Toodles tomos watashi-K&K

PS- I really do appreciate all your loyalty and support over the years my tomos watashi all! And you can take that to the bank folks!-K&K

05 January 2009

Another Treat from the Keiman of Anime

Greetings my fellow anime fans out there in webworld. I should have posted this before I posted the first chapter of 'Angel Wings'. Gomen (sorry) for the mixup and here is Chapter 1 of 'Christmas with the Dirty Pair' and if you are thinking Santa, elves, ho-ho-ho and mistletoe nothing could be further from the truth, hazu (gng or group).

First let me begin by telling you to go to one of the chapters mentioned in my prior blog for a better understanding of who's whom and oro (what) the oni (devil) all my Japanese words and phrases mean. Of course most true aoishi (blue) anime fanatics are already familiar with at least some Japanese since most older anime (the word is also plural) have Japanese audio tracks and/or English subtitling tracks on them.

Since the States have gotten so interested in the anime genre many anime (both film and series) are being 'dubbed' English. Most of them have no Japanese audio whatsoever although in some poorly dubbed ones you can hear faint Japanese audio behind the override track.

Hooray! A bunch of our tried and true anime are being made into live action films- movies. Hollywood has discovered anew source of inspiration- anime. Here are just a few of the titles coming soon to a theatre near you (always wanted to say that line):

Cowboy Bebop
Death Note
DragonBall
InuYasa
Bleach
Fullmetal Alchemist
Morabito

Tonight on TV w anime fans are lucky becaue at 11 PM ET the SciFi Channel is airing two episodes of Mobile Suit Gundam aka Gundam 00 back to back followed by Macross Plus.

Gotta go now but enjoy the read. No pix this time. Sayonara and the rest eh. Toodles-K&K


Christmas With the Dirty Pair”- a fanfiction by Keiman and Kei

DISCLAIMER:We do not own any of these characters and/or anime series. However, we want to send a very big Domo Arigato to everyone who does and are kind enough to allow us to use them here.

We especially wanna thank Haruka Takachicho for the “Lovely Angels” Kei O’Halloran and Yuri Donovan- gomen (sorry) for making the girls of Irish descent but admit it -a feisty green-eyed redhead with a fiery temper to match and a long blue-haired blue-eyed knockout colleen with an attitude! What else could they be but daughters of old Erin on old Terra?

Er Kei was listening so I couldn’t use that name for those two but you know they really are the Dirty P--- OW! OK Kei- gomen!) Anyway thanks to all of the authors.

OK without Tina and Joey’s kind assistance this very first ff of ours would not have gotten done. Onegai for bearing with us.

We believe that this is the very first LA/DP ff dealing with a holiday besides Hall-o-we’en anywhere. In this case it's Kurisumasu (Christmas) so a big Domo Arigatou (Thank ya very much) to you guys and gals and here we go!

DRAMATIS PERSONAE (OUR CAST):

Kei O’Halloran- tro-con of Lovely Angel Team 2
Yuri Donovan- tro-con of Lovely Angel Team 1
Marlene Angel- tro-con trainee of LA Team 2(on loan from Blue Gender)
Kome Sawaguchi- tro-con trainee of LA Team 1(on loan from Blue Seed)
Anton Gustav- chief of Unit 9/LA Team 2
Donald Poporo- chief of Unit 234/LA Team 1
Charles Garner- territorial sector chief of 3WA(World Welfare Works Association)
Legatos Bluesummers- suspect wanted for crimes on Planet Gunsmoke(on loan from Trigun)
Black Ghost- suspect wanted for galactic domination (on loan from Cyborg 009)
Optimus Prime- leader of Planet Cybytron (on loan from Transformers Armada)
Spike Miroku- security chief at Higurashi Mall(on loan from InuYasha/Cowboy Bebop)
Various Shoppers

The time is 2250 AD (17 years after the Ganymede Riots).

The place is Furool (say Foo-Lon) City on Planet Shimougou located in the Gamma Quadrant of the Aquarian Galaxy.

FC is the Headquarters of the 3WA which is a member of the 'United Galactica Federation of Galaxies'.

A semblance of peace prevails but on occasion trouble consultants(tro-cons) are requested from the3WA.

The most famous team is now no more and the almighty Central Computer(which assigns all TC teams) has split up the most famous TC team ever. Lovely Angels now has a Team 1 and a Team 2 (see cast above).

Both teams are still called by “that name” but now because Yuri commands Team 1 she has been given Kome for her partner while Kei who leads Team 2 has been given Marlene as her new partner.

OK that’s the set-up. Now, it is a few weeks before Christmas and Team 2 is shopping for Christmas in the 'Higurashi Mall' (hai, Kei too although somewhat reluctantly! Marlene is sorta excited though.) and both girls are off duty now.

By the way Marlene is older than Kei-she is 23 and Kei is 19; Yuri is also 19 while Kome is 17 but being the Dirty Pair do ya really think this is gonna stay boring? Well--

Chapter 1 “Lovely Angels and Shopping Malls Don’t Mix!”

“Kami shimatta ni jigoku! I said HOLD IT you sonuvabitch!!” screamed a very angry green-eyed redhead. The shadowy figure she had been pursuing halted for a second, then turned to face an enraged tro-con who was brandishing a deadly Mark IV disruptor/blaster which was still smoking from the last shot.

At that moment a petite blonde materialized behind him as if by magic covering him with a smaller (but just as lethal) weapon, a TX XIII hand ion cannon capable of blowing a nasty hole in anything she chose.

Ordering him to raise his hands she spoke coolly and quietly. “You heard the lady, sir, I’m sure. If I were you I’d do what she told you to do.”

"Anything for the Dirty Pair.” he replied, raising his hands high. Marlene Angel leaned over
and whispered to him “Lose the DP pal. We’re the Lovely Angels! I’m telling you this for your own good.”

Suddenly Kei glanced over and saw her partner/trainee staring glassily directly into her suspect’s eyes.

“Shimatta Marlene! I thought I told you NOT to make eye contact with him! He’s a mind control telepath! Now stop lookin’ at him! Oh, crap!” she finished.

Noticing a Santa and a gift-filled sleigh drawn by eight reindeer suspended above the mezzanine, she immediately fired at it unleashing an energy bolt which sizzled through the roof of the atrium causing snow to start piling up everywhere.

As amazed shoppers ran pell mell every which way, Kei fired again this time hitting her mark.

Suddenly gaily wrapped presents were cascading down everywhere and soon covered both tro-cons and their suspect. Then Santa and his sleigh came crashing down on them pinning all three beneath it.

“Well, this is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into Ms. 'I know what I’m doing’! We came here to shop and now look!” yelled Marlene from under the pile of boxes.

Getting a hammerlock on her suspect’s right arm she snapped handcuffs on his wrists. “You are being placed under arrest by the 3WA. Anything you say--” began Marlene.

“You’re busted creep! And it’s Lovely Angels dammit not what you said!” hollered Kei decking him with an uppercut to the jaw.

“I was g-giving him his rights, Kei.” stammered her partner.

“You were boring him to death Honey!” finished Kei.

“Kei, remind me not to take you shopping again.” Marlene said, icy-blue eyes flashing like ice in a
polar dawn.

As klaxons began ringing all over the building Kei looked up and said “Jigoku Marlene!
Chill out! I didn’t know Legato was gonna be here, did I? Anyways we get a big fat bonus for collaring this yahoo! That oughtta buy a helluva lotta Christmas presents for ya so what’s the big deal anyhow?” snapped Kei, green orbs blazing fire.

“The deal is stupid that we were off duty and came here to have a nice time
shopping not fighting!” Marlene shot back.

“Don’t call ME stupid you tow-headed moron!” exploded Kei.

While they had been arguing a huge tall gent had stormed over to them. He was shouting very loud.

Holstering her pistol and folding her arms Marlene said quietly “OK Kei. Suppose you deal with this guy.”

Flashing a badge at them he bellowed. “Spike Miroku-Chief of security-Higurashi Mall! Who the F**** are you two bimbos? And whassa big idea of wrecking the place? And who’s that guy?” he fumed. “Somebody better start talkin’ soon or---” he trailed off.

Drawing out her ID card and shoving it in his face Kei calmly? explained. “Tro-Con Kei O’Halloran-3WA-Unit 9 division. This my partner Marlene Angel. Our code name is Lovely Angels-Team 2. This guy is Legatos Bluesummers, a wanted fugitive from Planet Gunsmoke where he is wanted for murder, mayhem and kidnapping, among his other felonies. We had just
apprehended him a few minutes ago. OK gomen about the mess but since nobody seems to be seriously hurt I dunno waht all the fuss is about. And we are not bimbos! Just call Chief Gustav at Unit 9-3WA and he’ll straighten out this whole thing in no time. And onegai tell him we’re bringing in this sweetheart to HQ. C’mon Marlene. Let’s go.”

Spike Miroku just stood there as if turned to stone, his mouth agape. Finally he realized just WHO he had been dealing with and said “Gomen about the snafu ladies. I wouldn’t have gotten so upset had I known the “Dirty Pair” was on the job. I--” WHAM!! That was all he got out before two fists slammed into his chin from either side.

“That’s Lovely Angels Kami shimatta ni jigoku!” chorused both tro-cons simultaneously. Then they exited-an unconscious Bluesummers in tow.

“They never learn do they?” observed Kei, pushing the door open. “Hey how come the floor’s all white?” she wondered aloud.

“Maybe ‘cause you blew a hole in the roof you stupid dummy!” erupted Marlene angrily.

“I told you not to call me stupid you harlot!” rejoined Kei.

“Look who’s talking! Like Yuri says the pot calling the kettle--”responded Marlene.

“Oh shaddup Sweetie! We’re late!” said Kei, dragging their trophy out the door.

Meanwhile back at 3WA HQ two bewildered men faced each other over an immense conference table. Presiding over them at the table’s head stood a slight, diminutive mousy-looking grey haired man. He wore a tiny pair of pince-nez on his rather prominent nose.

“I am just as baffled as you are, gentlemen but the Central Computer decided on two Lovely Angels’ teams and split up those two.” announced Territorial Sector Chief Charles Augustus Garner.

“Oro? Two of them? Nai! They’ll each get a partner so that’s shi! Oh Christ, nai! The ‘Unholy Four’!" bellowed Unit 234 section Chief Donald Poporo.

“Don’t forget the Mugghis- two of them as well!” added Unit 9 Chief Anton Gustav with alacrity.

“Oh it gets even better than that! Anton! Don! You’ll LOVE this one! Just remember ‘It’s not my fault!’ OK?” finished Garner.

Continued in Chapter 2 folks.

Surprise- A Special Treat for You

Konnichi wa (Hello) fellow anime fanatics. I noticed my poll had not been begun as of yet so I started the ball rolling. Now it's your turn eh? Oro (What) is this thing below my salutation I can hear you asking. Wonder no moe for it is a special treat for you folks. If you have been following my blog here you will know that I am a writer of fan fiction (well I did write two although I am still working on the second one) that is getting some buzz in our circles.

My first 'Christmas with the Dirty Pair' was 184 chapters long and took seven long years to post. That one and the new one 'Angel Wings' (27 chapters posted and more to come) are posted and can be read at:

www.fanfiction.net/anime/dirtypair/ christmaswiththedirtypair
www.fanfiction.net/anime/dirtypair/angelwings

An easier place to find them is here:

www.animeonline.net/forums/fanfics/dirtypairfanfiction

However I digress so gomen (excuse me). This is Chapter 1 of 'Angel Wings' so you get a feel for my fave anime characters Kei and Yuri of the 3WA. Enjoy it and just below this sign off I'll put pix of Kei (the redheaded firebrand Hellcat) and Yuri (the violet-maned vixen). Gomen (I am sorry- words do double duty in Japanese sometimes) for running off at the mouth so without further ado here are the 'Lovely Angels'.





Welcome to 'Angel Wings'

DISCLAIMER: OK Revy, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air after our first ff so let's get to Chapter 1 of this one without further preamble:-

ANGEL WINGS

Chapter 1

'Creature From the Black Lagoon' or 'The Angels Meet Revy Roberts'

Facing the rows of folding chairs in the gigantic amphitheatre in front of them Rock was as scared as Hell! His compadre, however, was as cool as a cucumber while she stood beside Rock, a cheroot clamped tightly betwixt her teeth. She smoked steadily directly beneath the 'No Smoking Onegai' sign on the wall. Rock tapped Revy's shoulder (Her real name was Rebecca Roberts but Kami help anyone who called this gal anything but Revy!) and pointed at the sign. Revy shrugged her shoulders and blew a smoke ring into the kid's face.

Both were on loan (temporarily) from the 'Black Lagoon' company in Roanispur back on Terran Thailand. BL was an organisation of hired killers. These two had been 'volunteered' by their boss Dutch to teach the new 'UG' and 3WA recruits here at the 3WA Academy in Furool (Foo-Lon) City on Shimougou in the Aquarian Galaxy. Oro were they teaching them?

For Rock it was proper reporting techniques a la their paperwork. In other words- how to do reports on your PDO (Personal Data Organizer). A 'PDO' was sorta like an ancient Terran cell phone/computer, however, unlike a cellphone a PDO also contained a vidcell phone unit, a medical tricorder, a computer, a local communicator, a word processor unit, several weapons, a homing beacon, a flashlamp, a tiny laser beam, a replicator unit (to make anything you shimatta well fancied!) and numerous other devices!

For Revy (who had not read her 3WA orders) well she hoped someone was gonna tell her damned Fxxxing soon oro the jigoku she was doing here or was she just babysitting Rock's ass again? Revy was in fact an expert with all sorts of firearms and was there to teach marksmanship and martial arts to the cadets.

"Who the Fxxx is that stupid looking bitch up front I wonder?" whispered Rio Delcroix to her seatmate Marina Oki. Rio was a cadet/trainee just starting her advanced training today as was Marina, however, where Rio was an ensign Marina was already a suba or a subaltern in the 3WA.

"Shut the Hell up, Rio! If she hears us she'll sure as Fxxx come over here and she don't look like someone I'd wanna mess with or meet in a dark alley even in the daytime man!" replied Marina in a mono-whisper.

"She's Revy Roberts from Terra, love. She's here to teach marksmanship and martial arts to you. And her nickname's the 'Creature from the Black Lagoon', Rio honey. Her name's really Rebecca but if ya say that to her it's like calling the boss Katie!" answered Legato Bluesummers the big tall BetaZoid captain from the planet of 'Gunsmoke'. Believe it or not he was also a cadet/trainee albeit he already as a captain outranked most of the instructors there.

"Who's the cutey pie next to the Terran Terror?" asked Rio and Blue chuckled.

"Rock Obajime. He's Revy's partner and he's here to teach us all how to write 'proper' reports on our PDOs. I think Revy's his bodyguard while he's here or something. He's a merc (mercenary) with the same group Revy's with but the guy won't carry a weapon and will not kill! Glorious company he's landed in eh? Take it easy kiddies. I think I just saw an old tomo- named Tomah Jordan. Ja mata for now." said Bluesummers and he wandered over to talk to a tall skinny guy wearing owlish spectacles circa a few hundred years ago.

He stood next to a younger girl in a 3WA hotpants uniform with a sash reading trainee/acting ensign across her chest.

"Legato? How nice to see you." she said and he nodded at the blonde.

"Oh hi Edna. You're looking quite spiffy in that outfit." replied Bluesummers. The tall skinny dude blinked myopically and smiled.

"Konnichi wa, Blue. Haven't seen you for an inu's age man. I'm here to give Edna (his sister Edna Jordan) moral support on her first day of advanced training. Then tomorrow I have to start teaching computer logistics to the seniors in the building next door. How ya been?" said Tomah Jordan who was the resident 3WA/'UG' ("United Galactica Federation of Galaxies') computer logistics and programming expert.

"Just fine, Tomah. By the way have ya seen Lee Chan around today?" asked Blue.
"Nai. He doesn't start teaching (martial arts and yoga) until ashita no yobi (the day after tomorrow). Hope he doesn't try to pick up that dark-haired babe with the kid over there." said Tomah, pointing towards Revy Roberts and Rock Obajime.

"Amen to that pal. She's one tough bitch. See ya later, tomo watashi." replied Blue before heading for the snack tables.

"How come we gotta be here today, Mar?" demanded Kome Sawaguchi in a whisper. She (an ensign) and Lt. Marlene Angel were standing against the back wall of the amphitheatre with arms folded across their chests.

Mar shrugged her shoulders at the strawberry blonde teenager.

"Beats me, kiddo. Guess two of those recruits are gonna be ours someday and they wanted us to get a look at them. Wow! That Revy Roberts looks madder than the boss usually does, don't she?" whispered the blonde navigator/sometimes pilot.

A slight short gentleman with kindly grey aizu smiled at them all and stepped onto the dais in front of the class. "May I have your attention please--" he began but the general hubbub soon drowned him out until--

"Shut the Hell up! Mr. Galadriel has something to say to you blasted yay-hoos so pay attention goddammit!" roared Donald Poporo, Unit 9's sector chief. You could have heard a pin drop on the surface of 'Dantoonine' which was several hundred lightyears distant! The shorter gent tried again.

"I am Vittorio Francisco Galadriel, Commander-in-Chief of 'UG' and the 3WA, ladies and gentlemen. I welcome you to this briefing session for you young cadets and trainees. I already know a great many of you having met you after our last er incident that our 3WA forces were involved with. For the rest of you I usually allow Andy Gooley my Aquarian Galactic Chief to run things. I'd just like to say that we have gone out of our way this time around to get you the very finest of instructors we could possibly locate to teach you your advanced subjects. Yes even paperwork is on our curriculum this semester. Without further ado let me hand the floor over to Mr. Poporo who will give you all the latest news about your training. Have a nice day and hoob-a-dooble-doo." said Galadriel and he immediately left the podium.

"OK hazu- listen up! You've all advanced to he next level of your training with us. That's 'cause you've mastered the 'basics' that a good tro-con needs to know. If you think that crap was difficult this next stage will make the last six months or so look like kindergarten! We're running a bit late today so I'll quickly introduce your instructors before I release you for dinner.

First off- to teach you karate, baritsu and hand-to-hand combat as well as yoga we have Senior TC 1st Lt. Lee Chan (A tall fellow who looked a lot like the ancient Terran martial arts film star Jackie Chan gave them a galactic salute and bowed. In point of fact Lee was indeed a direct descendant of the famed hero of the silver screen from Terran China).

Second we have to teach endurance and survival skills and tactics to you Chief Stefan Gazelle who doubles as our sports coach. (A big hulk of a guy with long flowing black hair stepped forward and gazed at the class steadfastly before shaking his head sadly and saying 'Pathetic, just pathetic, man!' in a loud rumble).

Our remaining duo of instructors are probably unknown to all of you. They hail from the Terran city of Roanispur in Thailand and come to us highly recommended.

Your third instructor is Mr. Rock Obajime (The kid beside Revy Roberts nodded a tad nervously and managed a wan smile) and he'll be teaching you how to write up proper reports from your missions and daily work so I guess you could call Rock our resident 'red tape' expert.

Last but certainly not least we have Miss Rebecca er I mean Revy Roberts (The dark-haired beauty beside Rock frowned and made an obscene gesture to Don Poporo.

Of the four instructors present Revy was the only one not in 3WA/'UG' attire. Instead the girl wore a black sleeveless tank top, torn and dirty sneakers and cutoff denim jeans. Criss-crossing her ample chest was a double-holstered under the arms shoulder harness and nestling in each holster was a heavy calibre Beretta automatic pistol nicknamed a 'Cutlass'.

She nodded curtly to the class.

"Pathetic is right man! What a bunch of pussy shitheaded losers, Rock!' she chuckled and the kid looked like he wanted to be on 'Dantoonine' at that moment!) who will be instructing you in the finer points of marksmanship and er street combat fighting." said 'Uncle Vito' and he sat down.

Mr Popo replaced him at the podium and beamed at the class.

"I know we all wanna get to chow so I'll dismiss you now that is if there are no questions?" said Don with a nervous glance around the hall.

"That baka moron bitch couldn't hit the broad ass side of a Rygullian barn!" shouted Rio Delcroix before Marina Oki could stop her.

"Hit the deck!" cried Rock and dove for cover just as Revy leaped up and performed a sideways somersault in midair, yanking out her twin cannons and firing all in the same blur of uninterrupted motion.

Four neat little bulletholes had suddenly appeared in the 3WA crest above Mar and Kome's heads! A half credit coin (about the size of a Terran nickel) could have easily covered all four holes! Revy coolly reholstered her cannons and smiled at Rio.

"How's that, you Fxxxing dumbass?" she demanded, spitting out her cheroot stub. Don glanced up and blanched white- his worst nightmare had just arrived!

"Oro's the Hell's with all this Fxxxing noise, Don!?" growled a tall red-headed and green-aizued Amazon dressed in a 3WA red/black skintight bodysuit and red chukka ankle boots. Depending from her right hip was a Mark XIII ion cannon which weapon made Revy's 'Cutlass' noisemakers look like pea-shooters in comparison!

"Ladies and gents- permit me to introduce our newest Academy Chief er for you Terran folks that's the same as a college dean- Marshall Keirran er I meant Kei O'Halloran. Hiya Boss. Miss Roberts here has just er been demonstrating her shooting skills to the class." said Don.

Kei yawned, then spun like lightning back to face Revy, yanking out her cannon at the same time. Over her shoulder she fired two ion blasts in quick succession and where Revy's four bullet holes had been a moment ago now was only a smoking crater in the back wall!

"Kei! How the oni (devil) can I teach first aid with all of this racket going on, dammit all!" screeched a violet-maned vixen with flashing aizu the colour of deep azure who had just bounced into the huge hall.

Her hot pants outfit was a pastel hue of aoishi (blue) and white and complemented her aizu perfectly. White over the calf length Cavalier boots completed her ensemble and strapped to her right side was a teeny tiny (but deadly!) Mark III miniblaster.

"And this is our esteemed Academy's executive chief er vice-principal- Wing Commander Yuri Donovan." added Poporo. Then Yuri saw oro was left of the wall!

"Christ Almighty, Kei! Not another blasted shield? That's the third one you've blasted this month! The 'G Twins' (Andre Gooley and Charlie Garner) are gonna be well and truly pissed, man! Oh er hello class. Welcome to the 3WA Academy or jigoku (Hell) which is oro you'll be calling it pretty darn soon if you ain't already! Good luck." finished the exec.

A desk job/teaching gig was fine with Yuri after that last mission she'd been on but for Kei this was sheer and utter boredom! Revy laughed out loud. Big mistake!

"You freaks got a bimbo broad and a wimpy schoolkid running this Fxxxing dump? I don't Fxxxing believe it! Whassa matter- wasn't Dean Wormer ((The Faber College dean played by John Vernon in that old Terran film 'Animal House') available? No wonder this place is a frigging joke!" chortled the Terran markswoman.

"Hey there Lady! You just watch your mouth there! That ain't now way to be talking about our 'Dirty Pair'!" cried an incensed Tomah Jordan who was holding the door open for Yuri. Four pair of angry aizu (including Yuri's) turned in his direction.

"That's 'Lovely Angels', dammit!" chorused the 'Unholy Four' who are of course Kei, Yuri, Kome and Marlene. Kei strolled to the front podium and glared icily at Revy Roberts.

"Class- you are hereby dismissed. See ya all back here at 0900 ashita (tomorrow) morning." she barked.

"Let's go, Boss. You've got a lotta recquisition vidchips left to sign." said Yuri, adroitly steering the redhead to the portals. Legato grinned at Revy.

"Girl, you just dunno how Kami shimatta extremely lucky you are. The Boss usually puts folks into the hospital for that kinda mouthing off. Your pardon, ma'am. Legato Bluesummers at your service. I'm captain of the 'Raphael'. That's one of the 'Lovely Angel 2' starship's four shuttles. (The others being of course 'Michaelangelo', 'Leonardo' and 'Donnatella') But don't get me wrong now. I'm also a trainee here. Pleased to meet ya, ma'am." said Blue. Revy returned his gaze coolly.

"That Irish idjit's the lucky one, pal of mine. I usually 'kill' folks I don't like, man! And by the way friend- you call me anything but Revy again and I'll rip your Fxxxing head off and shit down your Fxxxing throat, Captain! Nice to meet you too, sir. C'mon Rock. I need a Fxxxing drink, kid." said Revy, dragging her companion towards the bar area.

Kome's mouth was open wide in shock! Mar smiled ruefully. "Here we go again, kiddo." she observed dryly.

END of Ch 1 . Ch 2 coming soon. R/R/S away and Kami bless you all. SYS and SFN. Ja mata and have a super weekend. Toodles-K&K

Several chapters in 'Christmas' have both dramatis personae character lists as well as Japanese/English glossaries and word lists. Check out Chapters 1 through 7 and I think 15 or 20 have some words as well.

Of course if you want you can always just email me at keimanzero@hotmail.com or blog me here with your questions. Feel free to comment on anything in my blogs here or elsewhere around the web. The Keiman's reach is long folks. Sayonara ( it really translates as 'until we meet again' although many people mistake it to mean goodbye. Goodbye is a shortened form of 'God be with ye' and has a similar meaning) for now and see ya soon. Kami (God) bless all of you and toodles-K&K